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First Glance – The Secret Behind the Attraction

attraction at first glance

Have you ever liked someone at the first glance? At times, we can fall in love with someone or get attracted to someone at the very first look. Find out the real secret behind the attraction.

The secret behind the attraction

All our lives, we’re been told not to judge a book by the cover. We’ve been told that people shouldn’t be judged until we know them well enough.

These words may be told to you by the wisest and the greyest, but that still can’t stop you from going ahead and judging people by their faces.

And it’s not just you. Even the ones who told you not to do the judging can’t help but judge people at first glance.

So what do we call them? Hypocrites? Or perhaps, we should just blame our genes.

The first glance

How many times have you met someone and felt a sudden rush of emotions, good or bad? There may have been times when you felt uncomfortable hanging around someone new, and you couldn’t wait to get out of the room.

It may be your first date with a very cute guy or girl, but at times, we just can’t help it when our involuntary genes decide to kick in and make the plans for us on the very first look.

The science behind the first look

Psychologists have found that people respond intuitively to faces so rapidly that our reasoning minds may not have time to influence the reaction. It’s almost like an involuntary shiver.

We just can’t rationalize our decision, and so we pretend to be very intellectual and blame it our sharp instincts. These ‘instincts’ help us choose the friends we would be most comfortable with, and also helps us in choosing the right mate.

You’ve obviously known there was always something more than just good looks that attracted you to your sweetheart, didn’t you?

Facial features and the first glance

The link between facial features and character may not exist in reality. Seriously, someone who looks bad doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad person, do they? But this fact doesn’t stop our minds from sizing other people in the first glance. It may not be all about beauty and appearances, but we tend to decide very quickly whether a person has many of the requirements we feel are rather important to the instinctive side of us, such as likeability and warmth, even though we may not have exchanged a single word with them.

It seems like all of us are programmed in the head to jump to conclusions really fast, without really spending any time to think.

Let’s just remember the first day at college. You didn’t know anyone, but most of the time, you ended up with bunch of people you hung out with for the whole year, or you’re still probably pals with them even now. This might not be the case at all times, but nine out of ten times, you know it’s true. There’s just something about that first glance, isn’t it?

The study of faces and the first look

A study was conducted by researchers, and the observers were asked to look at different faces for different durations of time, one tenth of a second, half a second or a full second.

After each face flashed on the screen and vanished, the observers marked whether they found the face to be trustworthy or not, and also how confident they were in their analysis. Other experiments conducted in similar fashion tested for different specific traits, such as likeability and competence.

It was also found in the test that, when more time was given to the observers, the judgment did not change. The observers only became more confident of their answers as the duration lengthened. The reason behind these quick judgments is not clear, but researchers say that there may be a part of the undiscovered brain that may be directly linked to judgments of trustworthiness.

Our minds experience a rapid cognition when making decisions quickly, especially when it comes to first impressions.

But the researchers also say that the first impression may help attract a few people, but the rational mind comes into the picture eventually and overcomes the intuitive decision. As times goes by, you would get to know these people a lot better and you would develop a better conception of them based on real life experiences.

The studies could not pinpoint the actual part of the face that lead to a particular trait inference, but the most probable aspect could be the symmetry or the proportions of its features.

So the next time you bump into someone and like them instantly, or detest the person, don’t worry. It’s just your mind trying to take over your parents’ job of choosing the best friends or mate for you.

So the next time you fall for someone at the first look, or like someone at the very first glance, don’t think twice. Big chances are, you’re going to like this person for a long time!

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17 thoughts on “First Glance – The Secret Behind the Attraction”

  1. Fuji says:

    I can say that I am an attractive guy and most girls and even gay men dig me and would love to lay with me I just don’t really know how I got this type of charisma and it’s like I’m always being followed. I am not trying to be narcissistic or anything. I’m just saying what I see, feel and hear with my own body. I can get any girl I want and I don’t really have any problems with getting them. I just want to be a gentleman every single time and girls love that. Take my advice and just be gentle with girls. They would appreciate it. Open doors for them, always try to give as much compliments as you can without acting creepy in any way. That’s the really hard part though, it’s trying to stop being creepy. I don’t know how I exactly do it but I am not creepy in anyway but when somebody tries to do what I’m doing, I mean exactly the same thing I do, they end up being rejected and I end up being with the girl. I wish I can really pass on to you guys what I have and only if it’s contagious, I will spread it to you. It’s just this gift that I have that has been given to me so that I can enjoy my life. This is my calling. I am charismatic even though I was not blessed with great looks. I look average when you look at me but when I open my mouth, girls would fawn over me. It’s the charisma guys and some skill.

  2. Yosh says:

    I am 41 and have been married for almost 17 years. We have two children, ages 7 and 11. I guess I have always known I was attracted to girls and knew something was different at a young age. I never dated in high school but had a very close relationship with my best friend. It never was inappropriate, but I knew something was going on inside me. I also knew my family would disapprove so I just pushed it to the back of my head. She moved to Florida and and few years later we reconnected while I was dating my husband. I definitely knew at that time there was something between us, but never vocalized it. Again, I pushed it aside and married my husband. For many years I thought I was happy, but lately I know something is missing. I know I would be happier with a woman. This is something that I could never announce to anyone because I feel I would be rejected by so many people. My husband is a high profile person with many influential friends. I would never want to put him in an uncomfortable situation not my daughters for that matter. So, therefore, to be honest I feel like I am trapped. I am still in contact with my best friend after 26 years and I miss her so much. Thank you for listening, I just needed to tell someone

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