Emotionally Stable: How to Find Your Zone of Perfect Calmness
When you are emotionally stable, you can hold onto your emotions without letting them carry you away. Find stable ground by doing these 12 things.
Being emotionally stable means that you can hold onto your emotional state from one moment to the next. There are inevitably going to be times in your life when holding onto emotional stability will be challenged, but if you are having a hard time going from one day to the next without major ups and downs, it might be something more than just “moodiness.”
Try these 12 things to become emotionally stable
Some people have an easier time holding their emotional balance. Sometimes there are chemicals and genetics at play, and sometimes there are past experiences that can alter the way that we conduct and navigate life. What I do know is that being on a perpetual roller coaster ride not knowing if you are happy, sad – or both at the same time – is a very difficult way to live life.
In order to be emotionally stable, you have to find out what works for you. If you have ruled out things like chemical imbalances and other things that medication can help, then it is all in your head… literally. To find emotional stability, sometimes you have to learn to give life the finger.
What do I mean by that? We often become emotionally unstable when we either carry too much stress, don’t know how to manage what we have in our lives, or when someone is toxic to us.
In all of those cases, however, the only one who can stabilize your life is you. Learning new strategies to deal with the highs and lows might be the only road to harmony.
Here are some tips for how to become emotionally stable.
#1 Learn to let go of things that you can’t control. It is difficult to be emotionally stable when you feel out of control all the time. The problem is that the more we try to control life, the more it proves to us that we can’t.
If you can separate out the things you can change and the things that you can’t, then you can better focus and manage those things that will bring you happiness and make you feel accomplished. Feeling out of control is one of the biggest things to get you emotionally off balance. [Read: How to set boundaries – 10 crucial steps to feel more in control]
#2 Reduce your stress level. When you are stressed out, your body releases a hormone called adrenaline. If you are continually stressed out, then even the sanest of us can become overwhelmed and can become off kilter mentally.
If you put too much stress on yourself, then you are going to be overwhelmed, and there is no way to find emotional stability when you feel like you don’t have time to exhale. Control the stress in order to control the effects of adrenaline on your body. It is a sure-fire hormone to mess with your mind. [Read: Do you feel emotionally drained? 15 reasons and cures]
#3 Stop caring so much about what people think. It is hard to be emotionally stable when you are worried all the time. People who have things like social phobia are so concerned with what people think about them that they never stop working overtime to be what someone else wants them to be.
You can’t hold your emotions in check when you don’t even know who you are; it is nearly impossible. If you want to hold onto your emotional stability, stop caring so much about what people think and care more about if you are okay with you. [Read: Care less – How to stop giving a damn what people think]
#4 Don’t take on everyone else’s baggage. Some of us are like little misery balls. We absorb all of the problems of those around us. More empathetic than any human being should be, we feel everything for everyone.
That can leave you with all kinds of emotional baggage and nowhere for it to go. Picture emotions like carrying baggage through the airport. That is what you are going through life like.
If you can’t solve your own emotional problems, why do you think you can take on someone else’s? Perhaps a good diversion from having to deal with you, if you want to find emotional stability, work on yourself and let other people deal with their own issues and emotions.
#5 Try not to be so sensitive and self-centered. Often, we have a hard time finding emotional stability because we are extremely sensitive. Self-centered is something that you call someone that has a derogatory tone, but it doesn’t have to be.
Being self-centered means that you are too much in your own head. That can cause a lot of chaos for you emotionally. Stop ascribing emotions to everything that you hear people say or do to you. Just because you might be a hot bed of feelings, not everyone else is. In fact, they might not have an emotion to be found. [Read: 18 emotions you shouldn’t feel in a healthy relationship]
#6 Find a vice that is constructive rather than destructive. When we are going through an emotionally hard time it is easy to self-medicate with vices that seem like a good idea, but are anything but. Taking drugs and alcohol might be a good way to calm the internal voices, but all they do is mess with your brain chemistry and make it all worse.
Instead of reaching for that nightly glass of wine, try going for a quick run. You can clear your head much better by running it out, then by mudding it up with a vice that is doing nothing but messing with your head more.
#7 Make yourself a priority. If you want to find emotional stability, then start making yourself a priority. That means that you do what makes you happy instead of always feeling stuck by obligating yourself to do things for others. Learning the art of saying “no” can be one of the biggest emotional stabilizers that there is. [Read: Positive vibes – 17 ways to welcome positive energy into your life]
#8 Stop over-analyzing. Stop over-analyzing everything. Like a wheel that turns, when you think about something over and over and over again, it puts way too much wear and tear on your mental status.
Stop trying to figure out what someone meant when they said something, or if you offended someone with an offhand comment two days ago. You can’t get back in your time machine, so thinking about it over and over is doing nothing but wearing down your emotional energy. [Read: How to stop overthinking – All the strategies for more peace]
#9 Don’t do things that you know will eventually make you feel bad. There are things we do to make us feel better, but in the end, they always end up making us feel worse. Don’t practice behaviors that always end up in a cycle of bad feelings.
No matter how upset you are with someone, don’t talk behind their back, or don’t spend money to gain some retail therapy only to get the bill and start the self-loathing process. Stop the cycle to find some emotional balance.
#10 Figure out what your triggers are and then try to avoid them. There are triggers in our lives that can set us on a downward spiral. Once you have identified them, they no longer have control over you.
If you know that getting on Facebook to find that all your old friends have left you behind leads you down a trail of misery and instability, then stop getting on Facebook. Once you identify what is knocking you off kilter, you can avoid it in the future.
#11 Don’t react right away… give yourself time to process. When you are highly emotional, you have a tendency to react too fast without giving time for your brain to process your feelings.
With so many emotions floating around at once, if you encounter a situation, make sure that before you react and get yourself into more trouble, you assess what is real and what you are creating for yourself. Highly emotional people benefit greatly from walking away from a situation and letting the dust settle before tackling it. [Read: How to calm down – 15 hacks to put the crazy away]
#12 Forgive yourself. There are times when you harbor feelings that keep ruminating and set you off balance at every turn. If you have something in your past that you feel guilty about, the only person that is likely thinking about it anymore is you.
If you have wronged someone and said you are sorry, then you have to let it be. You can’t make the past right by trying to fix it; you only dig a bigger emotional hole for yourself to fall into.
Continually self-flogging isn’t getting you anywhere; it is just keeping you in a cycle of getting past it only to have it resurface again. Stop trying to suppress it and just learn to forgive and let it go. That includes letting go of your past and moving forward. [Read: How to love yourself – 15 ways to discover self-love and happiness]
It is hard to find your balance when you are continually standing on a bed of insecurity. Whatever it was that you are carrying, let it go to find the strength you need to be emotionally stable.
Being emotionally stable is easier for some people than others. If you are a highly empathetic and sensitive person by nature, it might be even harder. The key to finding your emotional balance is learning to take the time to process things, being kinder to yourself, and giving yourself a little slack and forgiveness every once in a while.
Emotions aren’t always easy to tame or to maintain control over. But, if you can reason through what you are feelings and separate out what is real, what you can and can’t control and stop analyzing, you will find yourself becoming emotionally stable.