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Don’t Want to Have Sex Anymore?

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Are you suffering from a bout of sex boredom, where one of you don’t want to have sex anymore? This can happen to anyone, and as frustrating as it can seem, you can change it all in no time.

don't want to have sex

If there’s one thing that haunts our mind during our formative years as a teenager, it is sex, and of course, the kind of impression we make on the opposite sex.

But as we get hitched with someone and the years roll by, sex takes a backseat.

And soon enough, sex, just like many things in life start to become a chore.

And this can happen even if you don’t have kids. And one of you may just not want to have sex anymore.

Somehow, most people associate more kids with less sex. But that’s just not true.

There are innumerable couples without kids who would rather watch reruns of an old sitcom late at night than indulge in a bit of bang-bang.

Why partners don’t want to have sex anymore

The reasons can be many, but none of it is acceptable or justifiable, unless it’s a traumatic experience or a medical condition.

If that’s the case, well, true love should prevail and sex can be put on the backburner. But in all other cases, it’s just crazy to not want to have sex!

If one of you want to have sex and the other partner just doesn’t want to have sex anymore, perhaps, it’s time you do something about it. Here are the most common causes, and we’ve also pointed out a few things you can change to burst the boredom out of sex.

And we’ve given a few links within each pointer that could help make a big difference in your bedroom life. Of course, use the links that work for you and skip the ones that are too risqué for you!

#1 Not sexually attracted to your partner

Most people are confused about this, but seriously, sex and love are two completely different things. You can love someone intensely and still get physically attracted to someone else. Of course, with love comes passion, but it’s just not the same as raw physical attraction. So if you don’t want to have sex anymore, it doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner. It simply means you’re not sexually attracted to them anymore.

Over the years you’ve been together, you may have gotten so used to seeing each in the nude that getting naked before having sex may just not seem exciting anymore. And sexual arousal is also a lot about the sensitive touch, and that magical effect could have worn off too. [Read: Taking naked pictures of your partner]

If you don’t want to have sex or are completely uninterested in sex because you’re just not attracted to your lover anymore, you need to bring the passion back, or the rest of your sexual lives could be boring, miserable and a perfect place for cobwebs.

Most of us forget how sexually attractive our partners are, and need to be reminded about it now and then. [Read: How to play hard to get with a guy]

As much as we make up our own minds, humans need constant reassurances from the people around us. Go out more often, meet more people and take off on a sexy vacation now and then. If you see your partner getting a lot of attention from the opposite sex, it would automatically make you desire your partner more. The bottom line here is desire. Rekindle that and realize how attractive your partner really is, and you’ll be drawn to your partner with a sexual surge you’ve never felt before. [Read: Fun on the beach for couples]

#2 Sex is too predictable

Are you so used to routine that you can actually count the bed creaks to the last digit each time you have sex? What starts off as a comfortable position can soon turn into the only position. Don’t let that happen. [Read: What men want in bed]

One of the best things you can do here is to try something new and exciting. Sex is never boring, it’s a part of life and evolution, and your mind will never get bored of it. It’s the routine that gets boring for partners. Trying something new can be uncomfortable at first, but it can open the doorway to better sex. It’s about experimenting slowly and bringing in a few changes one day at a time.

#3 It’s not as fun as it should be

You can try new sex positions all the time. But almost always, when sex isn’t fun, the new positions would only get more frustrating. Instead of trying new positions, try new things. [Read: How to talk dirty in bed]

Sex is like an amusement park. It’s got cotton candies and choo choo trains for the mild, and roller coasters and devil rides for the daredevils. And if you notice, crazy rides always get your adrenalin pumping. Sex works the same way too. If having sex in the house is too boring, go out and play. And as your adrenalin rises, so would your sexual libido.

[Read: Sexual fantasies for men]

[Read: Sexual fantasies for women]

#4 One of you isn’t turned on enough

Do you dress up and try to look your best when you go on a night out or for dinner at a great place? Of course, you do. But what about at home when you’re with your partner? Do you dress up and look nice?

Most people take their partner for granted, dress shabbily at home, and then whine about the boring sex. But sex, as much as it is emotional, is also physical. You need to look attractive to get the attraction. Don’t dress shabbily or in loose, ill fitting clothing. Don’t wear the same frayed shirt or pants every evening. Clean yourself up and dress to impress, even if you’re at home. Look good for your partner and they will obviously feel sexually attracted towards you. [Read: How to sleep with him in a sexy way]

And if it isn’t just about that, try a few new games that can arouse your partner. Sometimes, having sex too quickly can be quite annoying. Men may hate foreplay, but they love bedroom games that prolong foreplay in the manner they like.

[Read: Sexual role play for beginners]

These are just the first four reasons behind why your partner or you don’t want to have sex anymore. Click here to continue reading about more reasons behind why your partner is not interested in sex, and what you should do as a last resort.


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Have your say!
  • Mark Dunham
    February 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    My lady doesn’t want sex any more it’s got worse & worse she says she loves me but doesn’t want sex I think she is or has been playing around ?

  • Sal Casanno
    March 3, 2013 | Permalink |

    My ex, a 49 year old woman, who I dated for 6 months always ordered me around in bed. After telling her that I knew what she liked by now, she STILL ordered me around in bed like I was a servant, not an equal (and capable) lover. On top of that, she loved to talk dirty in bed – so dirty that at times I was turned off by how filthy and creepy she would get. I tried to please her and even requested that every once in a while we have a nice, loving encounter. But I learned the hard way that she’s not capable of being loving – she’s too cold, hard, and mean-spirited to truly show any kind of loving feelings in or out of bed.

  • meghan anne
    April 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    I have recently not wanted to have sex with my boyfriend. I am not playing around. I just dont feel sexy no matter how much he assures me i am… i am not a sexual person but he is extremely sexual and im nervous im not enough for him anymore what should i do i love him im just very self conscious. And now we have 2kids but we has only had sex 3 times in.like 6 months. I dont want to lose him

  • Shawna J'Nell
    April 26, 2013 | Permalink |

    For the guy who thinks his girl is fooling around… I doubt it. For me – I just have no desire for sex. Not for my husband or anyone else. Sex never enters my mind and is just one more chore I have to do before I can finally relax at the end of my insane day. If it was up to me – I’d never have sex again. I have not had any sex drive for many years now. But I do love my Husband – he’s a wonderful person. I feel stupid trying to be sexy as I haven’t had a decent body since my 4th kid was born.

  • Amy
    April 28, 2013 | Permalink |

    My husband and I had sex once and we have been married 45 years. My husband told me he hated sex, intimacy, it was boring, not worth the effort, smelly, messy, disgusting and something that normal people don’t do. So he moved to the basement where he’s been all these years, and has worked the midnight shift also. I thought he was gay or into porn, I’ve had him followed about a dozen times and nothing. And he hasn’t a phone, computer or tv. so porn is out. We never talk other than primitive grunts, groans and sticky notes.

  • Wendy
    April 29, 2013 | Permalink |

    My husband doesn’t want sex as much as I do. I feel like I am not attractive anymore! He always is tired or has a headache! I feel like I have lost the man I love

  • José Miguel
    July 12, 2013 | Permalink |

    Been married for 45 years – were both virgins. From the beginning sex was wonderful but scarce. Last 25 years or so sex happened only 3 to 5 times a year. I masturbated a lot and couple of years ago got so hopeless that just stopped chasing her. Now I have erectyle disfunction and even if I feel strong sexual desire I get no erections – have tried Viagra and Cialis with only very timid and soft semi-erections. Now at 67 I´m having an affair with a younger and very attractive woman who happens to be very experienced sexually. Sex is very enjoyable for both of us even though I get only semi-erections with her. Enjoying weekly 2-3 hour loving sessions sharing kissing, foreplay, massaging, oral sex and orgasms! I feel like my marriage is over but I find my wife beautiful and I still feel love for her. Can´t move away with my new partner but have to change something in my life. Just scared.

  • Jennifer
    August 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    I don’t wanna have sex with my boyfriend nowadays,I just wanna take a break from sex but when I tell him this,he says its cool but he ends wanting sex again,don’t know what to or say coz sometimes he tells me that I should start sleeping in my room to avoid sex but when i do he comes to my room to ask me to sleepover his.i really wanna stop having sex almost everyday.help

  • Bridget
    August 8, 2013 | Permalink |

    Iv been in a live in relationship for 3 years now. My sex life started dwindling from once a day to once a week after my bf lost his father. At first I thought it was just a phase n that he was going thru an emotional rollercoster so I didn’t bother. Later I come to know that whenever I leave the house, he starts watching porn n jerking off. He never did it in my presence n used to fall asleep before me but even if I left the house for 5 minutes, he would start with his porn. I always knew he watched porn but never bothered cuz we were having sex at least once a day so I was getting my share but I really started to notice the change when sex went down to once a week while he was jerking off twice, thrice a day. Now we have sex like once in 15 days n its affected my self esteem so bad that I never initiate sex for fear of getting turned down. Iv spoken to him about it but it only leads to fights n he’s even called me a sex maniac. I feel horrible. I don’t want sex each n everyday but come on we’re not 60 year olds, is wanting sex 2-3 times a week too much to ask for when he can easily jerk off 2-3 times a day? Men r such hypocrites. First all they want is sex n later all they want is porn. I understand the need for variety but shouldn’t the porn vs sex equation be in favour of sex with a real person as opposed to watching some skanks do it? I’m 25, attractive, 36-28-36.. Willing to do anything in bed.. He’s 24.. Wtf is wrong with him? I’m considering dumping him.

  • Xavier
    August 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    Its been about three years now. My relationship is good for the most part. I have only ever been with three woman and one was a mistake. I used to be able to have sex whenever my first girlfriend wanted. After she left me I became very depressed. I was diagnosed with chronic depression. I don’t think I have a high sex drive. We have sex maybe once or twice a week but that isn’t of my choosing. I feel bad. She wants sex everyday and multiple times. I haven’t told anyone in fear they will think I’m just gay as my friends tell me she is hot and she is checked out a lot. I just don’t know why my drive is so low. I am not the largest and very self conscious about it. I don’t last the longest either. She always kisses me and tells me I’m fine. I know she is attractive but I am just not enjoying sex. Sometimes I see other girls and get physical urges and feel ashamed that should be my gf I’m feeling this way towards.

  • Linda
    January 13, 2014 | Permalink |

    I have been with my boyfriend less then a year. When we first got together sex was not an issue, we had it regularly. He had asked me to move in with him, and so I did. After that, he started getting really mean mouthed, started reminding me of my weight. (I was fat when he met me.) He says to me that he is not attracted to fat women, that I disgust him, yet he wants to have sex all the time. I feel ugly, low, sad. I cry all the time. I don’t want to have sex anymore. I feel so self conscious. He constantly brings it up and uses it as a reason to say mean things to me. I am starting to feel worthless. I don’t know what to do.

  • Anna
    January 29, 2014 | Permalink |

    Ive been with my biyfriend for almost two years. Sex was great and amazing at first but now I don’t want to have sex anymore at all. I don’t know why that is but its just not exciting as it used to be. I would make excuses when he would want to have sex ex. My stomach hurts, I have a headache, or even lie and say I’m on my period. We’ve had a couple of patches in our relationship but I want to know whats wrong, Am I just over him?

  • Sophie
    January 30, 2014 | Permalink |

    Linda! LEAVE HIM. A man who doesn’t respect you should not be in your life! Your beauty is how you see yourself and not how your boyfriend sees you. He does this because he knows you’re not going to do anything about it and the proof is YOU DON T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! what you can do is surprise him by LEAVING and then I promise he’s gonna chase and here you will be happy to tell to go f**** himself. Leave him, you’re gonna suffer but end up proud of yourself later.

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