Curious about the biggest issues women tend to face when they’re in the dating world? Here are some of the things she may be going through. By Philip Hegarty
It’s a big, wide world out there, and in that world there exists two main parties: men and women. Sometimes, it seems that you couldn’t have created two creatures so much in opposition to the behavioral patterns and habits of the other. At other times, it seems like the only reason they have to exist is to be with the other. Whatever your take on the collective and individual place of each side contributing to the genders, it is clear that there are issues particular to whether you are a stander or a sitter.
The woman’s perspective
It’s probably fair to say, and only a very brave, jaded or deluded man would argue otherwise, that men don’t really notice things in the same way that women do. Men have a habit of floating on, blissfully unaware of the issues that are unfolding all around them, whilst the women have their pens and paper out and are making copious notes to bring to your attention at a later date.
Not only does this account for why men usually lose every relationship-based argument they ever encounter, it also accounts for a great deal for why relationships fail.
What are these big issues that women face?
To bring you guys up to date, the following list gives you a heads up on the biggest relationship problems women encounter with tips on how to identify and avoid them.
Women’s issues about communication
This is just a massive issue between the sexes and there are a whole host of reasons associated therewith. The following points provide just a few of those reasons, and will hopefully lead the male reader to make lengthy and considered exclamations along the lines of, “Ohhhh, that’s why she did that!”
#1 Women have a need for dependency in conversation, an intimacy which they can foster and develop, whereas for men, communication is based very much on relaying information. The next time you’re having a conversation with a female loved one, realize that she isn’t trying to drive you insane with her endless questioning and repetition of the question at hand. She’s just trying to foster communication and bring you into her realm of thought. Indulge her, and reciprocate by giving her a piece of your mind. [Read: 23 things women wish men knew]
#2 Women are natural consultants, pooling the opinions of others and using this information to base their decisions upon. Men prefer to make independent decisions and are far more comfortable handing out direction. The worst thing you can do with a woman in a relationship is to make her decisions for her.
She will consult you at every turn and expect you to extend the same courtesy. So, always consider her opinion where decisions need to be made that affect you both and, whatever you do, don’t ask her for her opinion if you plan to ignore it anyway!
#3 Women express more personal viewpoints and emotions in their conversation, whereas men are more direct and attempt to exclude any sign of emotional deference. Loosen up, guys. Try and be a bit more expressive in your conversations with her, reveal a little of yourself rather than being stuffy and regimental. Sure, it’s difficult to begin with, but as they say: practice makes perfect!
#4 Women will talk about a number of different subjects within one conversation, alternating between them. Men will usually finish one topic before moving onto the next. This really is difficult for guys to deal with and can end up with their heads swimming or getting annoyed about the way the conversation is jumping around.
Open two-way lines of communication with her and let her know that you’re getting lost and need a bit of clarification. She won’t have any issue with this, and she’ll even appreciate the fact that you’re trying your best to keep up. [Read: 10 biggest dating turn offs for women]
Women’s issues about sex, intimacy and attraction
Women, like men, are sexual animals, but the approach of each gender towards sex and intimacy are very, very different. Men are famously very visual in their approach towards sex and find sexual impulse triggered by such uncomplicated things as pornographic literature or a flash of thigh.
Women, on the other hand, are far more complex in their sexual response and need a certain amount of nurturing to get them to the same stage.
#1 Women need to feel emotionally connected to the man they have sex with. Men can achieve sexual release, however, with next to no emotional connection at all and even a minimal level of attraction. It’s not for no reason that there has been emphasis over the years on the operation of wining and dining the woman of your desires, an action that allows a bond to be built, which she can latch her emotional needs upon.
You might be able to jump in the sack, perform a quick round of tug and thrust before rolling off and going to sleep, but she can’t. A mutually good sex life heavily relies on the moments before and after sex and how you use them. Wine her, dine her, cuddle and kiss her and all will be well. [Read: How to satisfy your woman in bed]
#2 For men, there is no logical connection between love and sexual release. For women, love brings with it a level of trust and relaxation that is sometimes necessary to achieve the greatest levels of sexual satisfaction. It’s true guys, there are many physical and psychological aspects to female sexuality which are closely linked.
Female orgasm, for instance, exists in a virtuous circle where love and intimacy increase the strength of the orgasm, and the orgasm in turn increases the love. A sensual bout of foreplay shows that you are taking her needs seriously enough, and that you love her enough to see her as more than just a relief mechanism. [Read: What women really want in bed]
#3 Women are far more careful about their appearance in the later stages of a relationship, whereas men tend to relax their standards once a sexual conquest has been made. Although male comedians love to typify the opposite of this statement being true, it is usually the guy in a relationship who is guilty of slobbing around in an old t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.
Women do tend to take much better care of themselves, and it is almost a sign of disrespect if you do not reciprocate her efforts because you no longer feel you have to make the effort to look good any more. Not only might this leave her cold and feeling deprived of the degree of intimacy that she expects, but it might just turn her physically off you. So dress sharp and attend to your hygiene routine.
#4 Although women take longer to develop a comfortable sexual presence with their chosen partner, their sexual appetite may end up surpassing their partner’s. In a nutshell, once a woman starts wanting regular sex, you may find that she ends up wanting it far more often than you do! Whereas a man’s sexual appetite is defined by certain physiological developments in his nether regions, a woman’s – once unleashed – is potentially boundless.
If this is the case, and well done for getting to this stage, then you, sir, will have to keep up! Whatever it takes, whether through herbal medicines, more exercise, a better diet or whatever else, make sure that you are servicing her needs to the best of your abilities!
There are far more relationship issues that women experience, but the topics of communication and sexual intimacy are the most common ones. When you’re able to deal with these issues, you can be sure that your relationship will flourish!
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Currently reclining with a peaceful and contented smile upon his face, with perhaps just a hint of mystery and steely resolve, Philip Hegarty has an obviously i...