She Didn’t Text Back? 20 Reasons Why and What You Need to Do Next

she didn't text back

You like her… a lot. And you guys had a great time together. But now, you’re left scratching your head because she didn’t text back. Why, oh why?

Ahhh, ain’t love a mystery? Just when you think you two are really into each other, she does an about-face and leaves you confused. Was it something you said? Was she faking it? Does she have a boyfriend? All of these questions must be going through your mind when she didn’t text back.

Or maybe she did at first, but then she suddenly stopped texting back. So, what gives?

Human nature

When you live long enough, you discover that humans are fickle. And sometimes, they are really flaky, too. The old saying, “you always want what you can’t have,” is sometimes very true. It shouldn’t be, but it is.

Human being are just plain ol’ unpredictable. It drives us all nuts, but it’s reality. Some people are more reliable and predictable than others, but even then, you still never quite know what they’ll do next.

20 reasons why she didn’t text back

I don’t have a magic wand or an innate ability to read people’s minds, but I have been around a while, so I have some insider information about girls. And that means I know all about the dating game.

It shouldn’t be a “game,” but unfortunately, many people make it into one. So, whether you like it or not, there are probably reasons she didn’t text back. And here are 20 possible reasons. [Read: Should I text her? What to know before you touch your phone]

#1 Things have changed. Yeah, I know the word “things” is really vague. But I used that word because there could be countless circumstances that have changed. Or maybe she was just drunk when you met. Or maybe she’s moving to a different country and didn’t tell you. The possibilities for change are endless.

#2 Her feelings have changed. Umm, yeah, we’ve all been there. Maybe you met at a bar and she was tipsy or just downright drunk. You know the whole “beer goggles” phenomenon, right?

I’m not implying that you’re ugly, but maybe she just felt differently “in the moment” when you guys met. And now she has changed her mind.

#3 She was just being polite when she gave you her number. Let’s face it, guys. Most girls don’t like to hurt other people’s feelings *although some have no problem with it*. But most normal human beings have a heart.

So even if she didn’t like you, she didn’t want to make you feel bad by saying you couldn’t have her number. Cruel, I know. But in her head, she was being more kind. [Read: 10 clear signs you should back off when pursuing a girl]

#4 You appeared too stand-offish to her. Okay, so the whole “bad boy” persona doesn’t always work. Bad boys are stand-offish. Girls like to know that a guy is into her. But if you act all cool and aloof *even if you asked for her number*, she might be turned off by that.

#5 You seemed too much like a smooth-talker. Now we have the whole stereotype of the player. You know the type… the one who will say anything to get a girl into bed. Compliments, touching, body language… you know how it goes. So maybe she thought all of your moves were just a fake act.

#6 She didn’t like what you texted her. If you just texted, “hey,” she might think it was boring and lacked effort. Or if you complimented her perfect butt, she might think it’s inappropriate. Think about what you said to her, and see if you think maybe it’s not in line with what she wanted to hear. [Read: What to text a girl – Dos, don’ts and all the secrets to know]

#7 You are being too sexually forward. Please, guys. No dick pictures. Really! It’s just nasty. I mean, maybe if you’re in a committed relationship, it’s different. But if you don’t really know a girl, that does NOT turn her on! It turns her off.

And even if it’s just sexual talk, it’s just not appropriate. And that’s a huge reason she didn’t text back. So just don’t do it. Keep it classy.

#8 You are being too needy. If you are constantly asking when you can see her again, or if you’re texting her all day every day… ummm… yeah… NEEDY. Needy is icky. And that’s why she didn’t text back. There’s a difference between being interested in someone and being needy. Sometimes less is more. [Read: 10 needy signs you’re too available for the one you like]

#9 You’re complimenting her too much. Believe it or not, some people don’t like compliments. It makes them feel uncomfortable. Or even if they do like it when you compliment them, if you say too much, then it sounds fake. Compliments are great when they are unique and genuine. But if you’re doing it in every other text, hold off. It’s too much.

#10 You won’t leave her alone. She does have a life, you know. And if you’re not dating her, then you are not the center of it. She has work. She has friends. She has other obligations other than texting you back. So, if you keep badgering her, it will turn her off.

#11 You asked or said something inappropriate. Did you ask her which sex position is her favorite? Or how many men she’s slept with? Or maybe you said you can’t wait to make sweet passionate love to her. Anything can be inappropriate. It’s all in the interpretation.

So, err on the side of caution. Think about what you’re really saying before you send the text. Again, keep it classy. [Read: 18 casual things to text a girl and leave her addicted to you]

#12 She has a boyfriend. This is not classy on HER part, but it happens. She probably really liked you, so she acted like she was single. She went along with it, because she was enjoying the moment. Selfish? Yes. Does it happen? Absolutely. It’s a bummer, and unethical, but it’s reality… and a good reason she didn’t text back. [Read: Is a girl with a boyfriend flirting with you?]

#13 She thinks you’re not unique. Maybe you’re using the same lines as the last 10 guys she talked to. Or you suggested dinner and a movie, and she thinks that’s “yawn-worthy.” Girls like guys who are different, but in a good way.

#14 She only likes you as a friend. Ahhh… the dreaded friend-zone. It could be a big reason she didn’t text back. No one wants to be there, yet most of us have been at some point in our lives. But listen, being friends is also pretty awesome. It doesn’t mean you’re unattractive, it just means she doesn’t think you’re a good match for her. [Read: 18 clear signs you’re in a girl’s friend zone]

#15 She’s talking to a lot of different guys and can’t keep them all straight. This isn’t very classy or ethical on her part either, but girls do this a lot. She makes you think that you’re the only one she’s talking to, when in fact, you’re just part of a crowd.

#16 She’s rude. In my opinion, you should treat other people the way you’d like to be treated. And no one wants to be ignored, right? So, she might just be a rude person who doesn’t care about hurting your feelings or making you feel insignificant. In this case, good riddance to her! You wouldn’t want her anyway.

#17 She’s ignoring you on purpose. Again, not real nice, but maybe she’s trying to give you a hint. Girls don’t like being direct, so if she’s purposely not texting you, she could really be saying “slow down,” or “stop being needy,” or “please don’t text me again.” Girls are the queens of indirect messages. [Read: 15 signs she’s leading you on and taking you nowhere]

#18 She thinks you’re boring. Do you only talk to her about sports? Or tell the same stories over and over and over? Girls need to find you interesting. So, if you don’t provide her any mental stimulation, she might be ditching you on purpose.

#19 She’s busy. I know you want to think this is the #1 and only reason she didn’t text back. And it could be, but it’s probably unlikely. If she really likes you, she will most likely make the time to communicate with you, even if she’s busy. But, nonetheless, it’s still a possibility. [Read: What you need to do when a girl is playing hard to get]

#20 She’s playing hard to get. Maybe she wants you to work harder to catch her. She thinks that if she “ignores” you, then you will amp up your game. Girls like it when guys chase them. And in order to do that, sometimes they play hard to get.

[Read: How to get a girl to like you again – 10 effortless steps]

If she didn’t text back, it’s never fun. And these are some reasons why it might be happening. But hey, don’t let it get you down. If she’s not into you, then just move on to someone who is.

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Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...

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