Don’t know how to react appropriately when you’re confronted with a shit test? Just follow this complete guide and be sure to never fail one again.
Many of you have come across a shit test in some form or another, when navigating your way through a relationship or a date. Chances are you’ve been subjected to one on more than one occasion, without even realizing it’s happening.
If you’ve had a girl react oddly to something you said in response to an off-hand question, you’ve been shit tested.
If she’s gone cold suddenly, for seemingly no reason, and is now ghosting you, you’ve been shit tested.
If she’s changed her demeanor toward you after a lengthy conversation about your dating habits then you, my friend, have been shit tested. And in all those situations, you’ve probably failed.
What is a shit test?
Simply put, a shit test is an easy way for a woman to test what kind of a man you are. It’s a way for them to throw a verbal curveball at you to see how you react, and based on that, she’ll be able to determine how much of a catch you are. [Read: Relationship power plays – What men need to know]
She’s looking to figure out how real you’re being, so she knows whether or not to let her guard down and trust you. Once she knows that you’re not just taking her for a ride, she can be herself and start letting you in.
Nothing is worse than spending weeks getting to know a guy and learning all about him, to then find out that he’s in love with his best friend. Or he doesn’t believe in monogamy. Or *as I once discovered after 3 dates*, he wants to have a threesome with you and his ex.
Don’t take a shit test too seriously. Women are just doing it to see if they can phase you and see how easily flustered you get under pressure. They want to throw you off your game to see if you, and your ego, can handle it. [Read: The mental checklist women use to evaluate men they date]
How can you tell if it’s a shit test?
Shit tests can be broken down into 4 main categories in which you might be tested:
#1 Socially. You’re being tested to see how you fare with your confidence. How well you command a situation, how you interact with your friends, and how resourceful and charismatic you can be in social situations.
#2 Financially. Women want to test how independent you truly are, or see how materialistic you are. Not all women want a man with lots of money, but they also don’t want to support someone full time who doesn’t have their own income. [Read: 10 creepy guys types all girls avoid talking to]
#3 Physically. Looks aren’t everything, but most men’s pride and ego comes from physical appearance. This shit test is a way to see how you perceive yourself physically and how you fare with feats of strength.
#4 Mentally. This is to test not only your intelligence, but your ability to figure out her needs and values. By disrupting your general habits and charm, it shows her how you really tick.
Here’s some examples of typical shit tests, and what kind of a response will help you pass.
EXAMPLE #1: I’m sure you just say that to all the girls.
Wrong answer: No, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not some kind of player, so I think you misunderstood me.
Right answer: Well, I have been practicing that line all day, so let’s hope it worked!
EXAMPLE #2:I bet you didn’t even miss me while I was gone.
Wrong answer: You don’t know that. Of course I missed you – you’re overreacting.
Right answer: What do you mean? I spent hours praying to the shrine I made with photos of you until you got back!
EXAMPLE #3: You’re so weak you probably can’t even lift this heavy box.
Wrong answer: Of course I can. It doesn’t even look that heavy, and I’m pretty strong.
Right answer: I probably shouldn’t. The last time I tried to lift a heavy box, I flexed so hard I accidentally opened a time portal. I don’t want NASA calling again.
Make sure to keep your responses light-hearted, and don’t lash out defensively because it never ends well. If you’re able to twist the focus of the conversation away from negativity, you have a higher chance of passing the test. [Read: Ready to charm? How to be witty and win anyone over]
Methods for passing a shit test
Here are some of the best ways to pass a shit test with ease, that’ll have her coming back for more.
#1 Sarcasm is your friend. Fight the urge to get incredibly defensive, and instead get sarcastic. Women love men who can make fun of themselves, so by using sarcasm, you’ll totally throw her off and possibly even be able to make her laugh, which really helps.
#2 Re-frame the conversation. Take control of the conversation by re-framing what she’s saying into a positive point. Once you’ve flipped the shit test on its head, it’ll be difficult for her to re-assert dominance in the situation.
#3 Steer into the skid. The second that she thinks you don’t want to answer a question, or are running scared, she’ll think you have something to hide. Confront the question head on, and answer quickly without flinching if you really want to see her stunned. [Read: How to talk to girls and leave them swooning for more]
#4 Don’t take it personally. Dating can be especially hard for women as, more often than not, women want emotional connection and longevity in a relationship. Because of this, most women don’t have any malice behind the shit tests, so don’t get angered or upset unless you want to fail.
#5 Say it with conviction. If she thinks that she’s shaken you, then you’ve lost, so don’t ramble and give a half-hearted response. Speak confidently, and show her you’re the kind of man who’s not afraid to be thrown a few curveballs. [Read: 22 must-know tips for having more success with women]
#6 Amplify it! Whatever she’s thrown at you, accept it and then amplify it. This is the perfect non-reactionary way to pass a shit test, because if you can turn her question around to seem absurd or like a joke then she has nowhere to go with it.
#7 Don’t accept disrespect. If she’s just being mean or rude, then stand up for yourself and tell her. If you demand respect without being nasty, it’s likely that she’ll be taken aback and will respect you more than if you just looked defeated.
#8 Adapt, don’t react. The second that you appear to have your feathers ruffled is the moment that you fail a shit test. Don’t let your ego get in the way, and just adapt your answers without resorting to petty remarks or bitter jibes – it will definitely pay off.