In a world where Facebook “likes” and “pokes” constitute as romance, it seems that the magic is dead and gone. Is there a way to get it back?
What happened to the days when sipping on a milkshake with two straws was the sweetest thing to do? What about asking a woman’s permission before kissing her? Also, can someone please tell me where chivalry went?
Seems to me that grand gestures of love are all but dead in today’s society. I refuse to categorize proclamations of love on Facebook as romantic gestures, and to hell with grinding on a sticky and cigarette smoke-infused dance floor.
You may say, “Well, falling in love and getting engaged is romantic.” Well, guess what? Even the whole concept of engagement rings was created with a profit-driven mindset. In a nutshell, the diamond industry was in trouble and some marketing genius at De Beers thought it would be clever to repackage diamonds as sensational proclamations of love. Of course, the world bought into the scam and now, even getting engaged to the love of your life is tinged with an unromantic businesslike notion.
The world has changed so much, that we have forgotten what it’s like to romance someone and sweep them off their feet. I’m not asking for Prince Charming to show up in full regalia on his white horse. All I’m asking for is an injection of romance every so often, to remind me that love hasn’t evolved into something totally business-oriented and time consuming, to the point that many choose to do without it.
How can we bring old school romance back to the modern age?
Even amidst all the chatter of the modern world, it is not impossible to breathe some romance into your life. Here are 8 romantic gestures from the olden days that need to make a comeback before I, along with millions of women in the world, wither away in inglorious cynicism.
#1 Song writing. If you are musically inclined, please oh please, write your loved one a love song. It does not have to be a full 4-minute hit. It does not even have to make any sense. There isn’t even any need for lyrics. Just write us a little melody and we will be happy for the rest of our days.
If you can spend hours jamming with your band, then you can certainly set some time aside to profess your love through music. All women want is something that comes from the heart and nothing speaks louder than music created specially for us. [Read: 12 prince charming traits that make a girl swoon]
#2 Love letters. We understand how hard it can be for men to communicate, especially when they are put on the spot. When we ask you if you love us, it would be nice if we got a little more than a nod and a grunt. How about sprucing things up and writing your loved one a love letter?
Just a few lines saying how much you care and value us being in your life. We will even accept it if it comes via email, although you should keep in mind that you get bonus points if it’s handwritten on hundred-year-old paper and delivered via raven.
#3 Eating in. I will be the first to admit that I love being wined and dined. Romance is certainly prevalent at a beautiful restaurant that serves beautiful food and beautiful wine amidst a beautiful ambiance. However, there is no need to fork out hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars to make us happy.
What many men do not realize is that it is not the price tag of the dinner that counts, but the effort put into it. We will pick a meal made by you any time over a fancy dinner out. If you are not much of a chef, make the effort to learn. Google simple recipes online, and stun your loved one with a prettily set table, candles and a homemade meal. Even if it doesn’t taste glorious, you can bet your bottom dollar that we will appreciate the grand gesture of love. [Read: 13 unique ways to build intimacy with your partner]
#4 Tune out technology. I blame the lack of romance in everyday life on the all-consuming presence of technology. After a long day at work, many couples head home and end up zoning out to the television, playing games on their iPad or watching shows on their laptop. My fiancé and I are guilty of this horrible habit.
One day, we took matters into our own hands and tuned everything out. The television and all the other mod-cons stayed off the entire time, and we spent the evening chatting and just enjoying each other’s company. It is sad that the inundation of technology in everyday life has left us totally handicapped when it comes to having a decent conversation with the one you are living with. You will be surprised at how romantic it can be to just sit and talk to your partner without any distractions. [Read: 12 things happy couples talk about to feel closer]
#5 Practicing chivalry. Guys, you need to prove to us that chivalry isn’t dead and buried six feet under. The little things in life really mean a lot to women. Old school gestures like holding the door open, pulling out her chair, kissing her hand and letting her order before you are noticed and deeply appreciated.
Even some of the biggest feminists enjoy the occasional pampering. Sure, we want the right to vote and equal pay and all that jazz, but that does not mean we want you to do away with chivalry. Indulge us every so often, will you? [Read: 14 charming ways to impress her on the first date]
#6 Handmade gifts. Whoever put the idea into your head that we need diamonds and pearls to be happy is pure evil. Yes, we do enjoy receiving expensive gifts every so often, but there is truly no need for them all the time for us to be happy. We love receiving handmade gifts, no matter how gnarly they look. My fiancé took the time to hand paint a salad bowl for me, and I value it far above any piece of jewelry that he has ever bought me. I am sure that the woman in your life will feel the same.
#7 Dancing. The art form of dance is prevalent in every culture on earth, and it’s a wonderful expression of emotions. Every form of dance, from classical ballet to modern hip-hop, will tell you that no matter the rhythm, dance can and will perfectly express what you feel.
However, steer clear from booty shaking, cleavage showing grinding in the club. There’s nothing romantic about that. Instead, why not invite your lover to dance the next time you walk past a busker in the street? Even more romantic than that? Dancing under the stars with no music. Sigh. [Read: 33 awesome date ideas every couple should try]
#8 Being respectful. Another gesture from the olden days that needs to make a comeback is being a respectful gentleman. Although closely linked to chivalry, it is not quite the same thing. Being respectful has to do with you being patient in the way you talk to her, behave around her and expect things from her.
An example is waiting longer than you normally would to have sex with her for the first time. Another example is asking her before kissing her. Keep in mind that this all comes down to being in the moment. If she wants to get wild with you on the first date, then go ahead and indulge her, but if you are on the fence on whether she wants you to head up to her apartment, wait for the next time round and properly woo her.
Although this piece was written with men in mind, it certainly works both ways. Ladies, if you are a music maven, write your man a love song. If your man is a foodie, cook him a delightful meal. Being in a relationship is a two-way street and so are grand gestures of love. So instead of sitting around complaining about how your partner isn’t romantic, take the initiative to shower each other with romantic gestures from the olden days. You will find that once you get the ball rolling, your partner will reciprocate in kind. It’s a win-win situation, so start now!
Take a cue from the romance of decades past, where online douchebaggery, modern dating complications and instant relationships were unheard of. Romance doesn’t have to die! You can live a perfectly happy, romantic life with the gestures we mentioned above!
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Born in Singapore and raised in Malaysia to multi-racial parents, Lianne is a self-proclaimed travel and food junkie. Having traveled extensively around the wor...