The overprotective girlfriend is born out of insecurity either from personality issues or from past experiences. You might not be able to stop it.
Women tend to want to protect and nurture. But just like your overprotective mom, you can have an overprotective girlfriend. The major difference between the two is that you can leave you overprotective girlfriend, but your mom will always be your mom.
An overprotective girlfriend is someone who you feel you can’t breathe around, and you definitely can’t breathe when she is not around because you know that there will be hell to pay for doing your own thing. Born out of insecurity, she needs to have control over you to find her own center. [Read: The 30 signs you have a controlling girlfriend]
The 20 signs of the overprotective girlfriend
The problem is that you can’t ever find your stability by being with someone else. That leaves her constantly finding what she craves by controlling you. There are varying degrees women like to keep a chokehold on their boyfriends. For the overprotective girlfriend, there is a long list of dos and don’ts, which change as quickly as her mood.
#1 If you said you’d be home at five, you best be home at 4:55 or there will be hell to pay. The overprotective girlfriend takes your word as your word. If you say that you will be home at 5, you best be home a couple of minutes before. Just 15 minutes sets off a tirade and an evening full of misery.
If you are going to be late, make sure you have a good and true excuse. Give her a heads up ahead of time, so that you aren’t getting the foot tapping while walking in the door. [Read: 21 things you do that hurt her feelings]
#2 Guy’s night only happens if she comes along for the entertainment. Overprotective girlfriends don’t like guys’ night. They are for nothing but cheating and debauchery. If you go on guys night, you probably need her as a chaperone, which is the exact opposite of its intent. So, in effect, you might be better off avoiding it altogether and staying home to stop a fight. [Read: How to know when to break up or stay together]
#3 When you are out, you had better not look in any other direction but hers, no matter what! If you have a wandering eye, that is on you. You probably drive the overprotective tendencies. But, if you can’t even look at the clock in the other direction without being accused of looking at another girl, you are with an overprotective girlfriend.
#4 She doesn’t like the time you spend with your family. The overprotective girlfriend considers any time you spend without her wasted time. She doesn’t like when you give anyone more attention than you give to her. It doesn’t matter if it is family, work, or friends, she comes first, and should have 99% of your attention, period.
#5 She is jealous of any other relationship you have in your life. You aren’t supposed to like anyone more than your overprotective girlfriend. Some degree of jealousy is totally warranted and explainable, especially if you are going through a rough patch in your relationship.But, if your girlfriend isolates you and make you her one and only everything, that isn’t healthy for either of you.
#6 She texts you every hour and you better have your read message on. Otherwise, she assumes you blow her off. She needs to feel connected to you every minute to calm her fears of losing you. That means you better answer her lickety-split or face the music. She is not only watching the “read” message; she is waiting for the *…* response coming her way. [Read: 23 things girls wish guys knew about a girl’s mind]
#7 You better check in with her every thirty minutes when you are out without her. On those rare occasions when you leave her side, you better not be enjoying yourself by being engaged in the things around you. The overprotective girlfriend expects you to check in with her every thirty minutes. So, although she didn’t come along, she forces you to bring her along anyway.
#8 She does drive-by’s at your work just to make sure that you are really there. She isn’t going to take your word for it. Regardless of how trustworthy you prove yourself to be. She isn’t above calling to make sure you are somewhere or even hopping in her car to chase you down.
#9 She constantly searches through your phone, computer, and anything else personal you own. You can’t have anything private that she isn’t looking into.
#11 She monitors your money and how much you spend just to make sure that you aren’t doing something that you shouldn’t be. Going through credit card statements, or any other notes laying around, are her standard.
#12 She is constantly concerned about what you think of her and how she looks. So afraid you will leave her, she needs constant affirmation of your love and that you like the way she looks. Spending a whole lot of time impressing you, you better show your affection. If not, there will be consequences of meltdowns and drama.
#13 Her questions are endless, truly endless. Being insecure, she will question everything, like everything. If you don’t give her the answer she wants, she will continue to ask the same question until she hears what it is that she needs or wants. [Read:How to build up trust in a relationship and make it last]
#14 When you walk through the door it is like the Spanish Inquisition. You better keep a journal of what you did all day. One inconsistency that she discovers is grounds for berating. Yes, those little stop-offs do matter.
#15 If you tell her what you did the day before, she isn’t above calling to confirm. The overprotective girlfriend has a deep-rooted secret. She doesn’t trust you no matter what you do or say.
Even the most mundane things will be checked out and confirmed as if she want to “catch you” to confirm her suspicions that you are trying to cheat her in some way.
#17 She insists that you do not text any other girls but her. She even has a problem with you talking to your mom too much, or sometimes at all. It distracts from her time. Phones are not optional when you are with her. If you are on your phone, you see her mind churning, figuring out what you are doing and who you are talking to.
#18 She has to come first above family, friends, work, life. She owns you and isn’t afraid to show you the verbal receipt why. If you don’t spend the appropriate amount of time with her, you get a list of all the reasons you should, and a rundown of all the things she has done for you that you that make you indebted to her.
#19 She stalks your social media or makes you get off. The overprotective girlfriend monitors your social media account or makes you get off of it completely. That way you can’t have any contact with exes that possibly try to get you back. [Read: Things that will turn any girl into a crazy girlfriend]
#20 She asks the same question about your night ten different ways just to trip you up. When dealing with an overprotective girlfriend, it behooves you to consider there might be something you do to drive her constant distrust. If you gain her confidence, you might calm her fears. Sometimes being trustworthy and supportive tames the overprotective girlfriend.
Unfortunately, there are some women with just too much damage to get past their overprotective ways. If it destroys your life and livelihood, it might be time to get out and let her find security without you. So she can find security within herself and not rely on someone else to provide stability.