Home Men Understanding Women 10 Sure Signs the Girl You Like is Just Using You!

10 Sure Signs the Girl You Like is Just Using You!

Like Us on Facebook

Print

Email

Have you ever fallen in love with a girl only to find that you’re more lost and confused than ever? Gasp! Is she using you? Find out with these signs.

is she using you? | is she using me?

She may seem charming and cute.

She may even be flirty and just the perfect girl you’ve been waiting for.

But is this new relationship leaving you confused and low on confidence?

She tells you she loves you, but the way she behaves seems otherwise. Is she using you?

Every now and then, you may meet a girl who seems to fit snugly into the dream definition of a perfect girlfriend.

But if you ever feel a flicker of confusion in those first few weeks, chances are, she’s using you or she’s just put you on her waiting list until she makes up her mind.

Is she using you? – The signs

It’s frustrating to realize that you’re being used, even when you’re trying to be a great boyfriend or a sex buddy. [Read: How to be a good boyfriend]

She may try to convince you that she truly loves you and wants to be with you, but five minutes later, her behavior may change and she may just act friendly all over again.

Ever been there? Read these signs to find out if she’s using you.

#1 She wants her space… a lot!

Are you dating a girl who clings to you for a few days, and then completely ignores you for the next few days? While playing hard to get may excite a guy, this is pushing the game too far.

Every time she ignores you or pushes you away, you may find yourself falling more madly in love with her. On the other hand, she’s probably interested in a few other guys or sleeping with them, just to work out her options. When a girl claims to love a guy, and yet avoids the guy completely for a few days every now and then, there’s a good chance there’s another guy in her life.

#2 Behaves like a friend

Does your new girlfriend behave like a friend now and then? She hugs you and cuddles you, and then pushes you away and tells you it’s all happening too fast and she’s not ready for it? [Read: Why are women fickle in love?]

Ouch, any girl who behaves like a girlfriend but prefers to stay friends is obviously using your love and affection to feel better about herself.

#3 Her friends don’t know you

When a girl uses you, there’s a good chance you’re never going to meet any of her friends. But if you both do bump into a good friend of hers, does her friend even realize who you are?

And if you see her with a group of her friends and not one person recognizes your name, you’re in serious trouble of being played into a game of I’ll-suck-the-life-outta-you.

#4 You’re not introduced as a boyfriend

This is a no brainer here. But it’s something most guys in love almost always forgive and forget. Have you ever been introduced as just a friend? If she’s convinced that you’re the man in her life, she’d proudly display you like a primped up puppy in a dog show. But if she’s just using you, there’s a very good chance that you relationship status will remain as friends.

#5 She’s confused about your relationship status

Now she may be genuinely confused about the kind of relationship both of you share, especially if she’s just broken up with her guy or is still in a relationship with some other guy. But the point is she’s confused.

If she truly does love you, there’s nothing to be confused about unless she’s still in love with another guy. If that’s the case, you’re not the winner here. You’re the scapegoat filling up the blanks when her boyfriend or another guy doesn’t have the time for her.

#6 She talks about her complicated love life

Do you spend more time consoling her or telling her how the mistakes in her life aren’t really her fault? Girls who end up using guys are confused women who want to be reassured and loved all the time. She may be losing the love of her own guy, and may want you to reassure her about her own relationship and fill her life with happiness and extravagant gifts. [Read: Should you talk about your exes?]

And yes, she wouldn’t mind cuddling up with you once in a while for all the nice things you’ve been doing for her. This is seriously messed up!

#7 She makes out but only when she wants to

You may sweet talk her and take her out to expensive dinners, all in the hope of getting some love and appreciation back from her. And of course, a little bit of making out too. [Read: How to make out with a girl]

But if you’re in love with a girl who’s using you, nothing really matters. She’d let you dance on hot coals almost all the time and make out with you only when she feels like it. She initiates it and she ends it, at her whims.

Her excuse: I’m still confused about my feelings for you/for my own boyfriend/the three other guys in my life.

#8 She dominates the relationship

Does she call you up whenever she feels like it, or asks you to meet her at her whims and fancies? A girl who throws her weight around a guy knows she’s already got him wrapped around her little finger. Don’t ever be that guy. You’d end up shattered almost all the time and you’d lose all the confidence you have.

Turn the table around and throw her around a bit. Two things can happen here. She’d take you more seriously, or she’s walk out of your life. Either ways, it’s a good thing for you.

#9 She wants you to listen, but not the other way around

Are you in love with a girl who loves talking about her own life and her little problems? Does she tell you about how bad her ex boyfriend was and why she had to cheat on him just to show him she has other options? Or does she confess to you about making out with a few other guys and wants you to tell her she’s not wrong and that she did the right thing?

And on the other hand, every time you try telling something to her, does she forget all about it or feign drowsiness?

A girl who only wants to talk and feel good about herself isn’t in love with you. She’s using you as a priest to feel good about her own shortcomings. If she did love you, she’d be more interested to know about you and your life than whining about her own guilty confessions. [Read: How to tell if a girl likes you]

#10 She’s in another relationship

Almost always, relationships where the guy is being used starts off with conversations about complicated love lives. The girl you like may already be in a relationship, and with each conversation you have, both of you may fall more in love with each other. She wants to go out with you, she loves to talk to you, and she can’t wait to spend time and make out with you.

But she doesn’t want to leave her own boyfriend or end her relationship with him. She tells you she’s not happy, but she doesn’t do a thing about it.

If you find yourself experiencing any of these signs that you’re being used, you better walk out of the confusing affair before you end up with a broken heart. After all, she’s probably got a few backups with whom she’s playing the same game anyways. [Read: How to get a girl with a boyfriend]

She may not do this intentionally just to hurt you, it’s just that she’s a selfish little cutie who cares more about her own happiness than anything else in the world.

Is she using you?

So what do you do about it now that you know she’s using you?

You have two options.

Walk out of her relationship drama before you get hurt.

Lose the love and just start using her back. With any luck, by removing love out of the equation, there’s a good chance you’ll behave more like a bad boy instead of a lost puppy and make her desire you a lot more! [Read: How to be a bad boy]

[Read: Is she the one for you?]

It’s easy for a girl to use a guy because both sexes are used to the ritual of a guy pursuing the girl. Sometimes, she may reciprocate and fall in love. At other times, she may just end up using you. So what do you think, is she using you?


We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship?
You can change someone else’s life too!


Like Us on Facebook


Like Lovepanky on Facebook and follow us @Lovepanky. Join our conversations and let’s create better love and relationships in the world.

Have your say!
  • July 18, 2012 | Permalink |

    My thing is idk if i should pursue this friendship with this girl that all of a sudden decided to come back in my life. Her original words were that she was to remain friends and that discussion was prior to the 8 months she was with her now ex bf. My problem is i think that her mom was being truthful the whole time. Or just being overprotective only because she is the baby in the family. The mother barely talks to me either.

  • Nick
    July 30, 2012 | Permalink |

    Thanks a tonn guys……helped alot :D

  • LR
    October 30, 2012 | Permalink |

    Truth is, men hate being used. It destroys their manhood.

  • John
    December 12, 2012 | Permalink |

    Lol wow like 7 to 8 things on that list apply to my situation thanks a lot for the help. Time to move on!

  • Kirby
    December 19, 2012 | Permalink |

    I have a latin girl friend and she is making our relationship very difficult. She speaks only Spanish when her friends are around and ignores me completely then. She wants lots of space and spends most of her time with her friends. Affection is rarely shown and kissing and hugging is rejected quite often. On a holiday in South America she pushed me away when I tried to kiss and hug her and wanted me not involved in conversations. It was claimed I am not part of the family and it is not my business. The next day she spoke all night, not one word to me. Now she left me here on my own since 4 days and I have not heard a word.

  • Kieran
    February 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    This is EXACTLY what has been happening to me for over 4 months. I didn’t see the signs, or maybe i just didn’t want to see them. It ended with her screwing me over terribly. Right in front of me with another guy. As if to spite me. Now reading this i know for the future. Thanks!

  • Nicholas
    April 30, 2013 | Permalink |

    Hi,

    I have an interesting question. I am an eastindianguy and very calm n sincere in nature. Now I have one white n hot girl that I met online site. She used to be a service girl but than left it. I find something in her I told her that dont do the business. I will take care of the money. I told her that u dont have to worrk for it n this is just a help as a friend to give u a chance to live a normal life. She aggreed and we met twice a month. She work for it. I said yes n I give her like 400 per visit to hlp her out with the rent n grocery stuff. .we had a great time n all i wanted to be her special friend n keep her happy ro ease her journey out of the trade.

    I also wanted to spend lil quality time out side the room. I bought her many gifts (expensive one) just to show her that her life n body is precious and it should not be for the j**ks.

    The thing is she does not want to spend time outside. I mean just a friendly hang out n i dont want sex from her in return but just to keep her smiling n happy. I mean i agreed to meet her in a room n still giving the same monsey for it without even having a kiss. I was so happy that she is on the right tract n did not mind the money.

    I gave all the emotional n financial support as i knew she can be a great woman. she never gets ready to meet me outside just as a friend because she is super busy for it but ask me to hang out for a night.

    She has not bought a single dam coffee for me. I dont care about it. I am only concerend that i am not wasting my time n money in a selfish girl. I am a rilch guy n dont care about the money but i respect my money and dont like to flush it down the toilet. I dont know if i should keep helping. Is it her past that makes her such? Or just plain using me.

    One more prospect. She recrntly agree to act as my gf for one day at my work place as i screwed up there but its a different story. Is she really doing it for me as my appriciation or just doing to keep me?

    I know the answer but I told her that I would be herfriend and I will do everything I can do to get you out of the trade n substance abuse. She may be using me but I know for sure that she is not doing it anymore via my sources. I dont know how to convince my heart that she is using me. It just keep reply that u dont become a friend only to get something out of it always.once a friend always a friend. Pls help me out..sorry for my bad english as well.

  • Nice_guys_realize_last
    May 13, 2013 | Permalink |

    I can’t believe some of the things I read on this site…not because they seemed outrageous but because I’ve dealt with all this and had to do it alone due to being married and not having anyone to talk to about this. The woman I am with has charmed my family & my friends and has done a fair part in the relationship about keeping up appearances and represented us well.
    However although she has not cheated on me (she’s just not that alive) I think I have felt like there is a definite mental cheating going on, kinda how you mentioned that women can cheat in different ways (I hope you will do a piece on that because men get a lot of flack for this and yet women also cheat in their own way and emotionally more damaging at times)..
    Anyway..can’t believe I’m seeing thoughts I have fought with every single day to tell myself it’s just a phase or something & now I have to sit up and take notice. Truth is I still have the same feelings for her since the day I first met her, like the day I married here and still want to believe we can work together on this. But lately I’ve felt like a crazy person because I cannot seem to get her to accept anything is wrong and yet I cannot talk to anyone about this but her..I guess I can’t do this to myself..she has never really loved me.

  • Benito Camelo
    June 24, 2013 | Permalink |

    Wow! It’s just the same as my situation… She’s crazy about another guy and she’s messed my head. I feel so stupid for liking her, I thought she was different. :-/

  • Richard
    August 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    Oh shit..when i saw :#10 She’s in another relationship ..well it was an eyeopener.She introduced me to herself and asked me if i could help her with a job for her ex-boyfriend.After a while i forgot all about it,and we became very close.But i knew in the back of my mind she was using me.(though i long for her)Always talking about breaking up etc..She never came ‘close’ to me.Now i broke up with her telling her i can’t stand her lies.Mad at me and giving me the ignoring look.And now she is talking about :my BOYFRIEND(ex).I dont hate her she is the one who missing out

  • Eugene Parker
    September 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    You know what I where just in a relationship with girlfriend for about three years just this past week when she where in north dakota a few months ago I can tell the changes in her conversation that someone else had started to come here life she said that she wanna to be friend before the job in north dakota started we where talking about get married and everything but I haven’t heard from her about three days now.

    Right out of the blue she wanna to end the relationship I guess for her next sucker she have been lying to me the hold time. I dont care if she know it of who maybe the next man can see this befor he spends a lot of money on her. Her name is R****** C******* from Wilmington Delaware. I have doing everything that I could for her she started to make excuses while she thought that the relationship want work she said she didn’t feel happy been around me anymore that she couldn’t be her self when she where with me she is a libra confusing as hell she where calling me a little bit then everything stop but in my saying what go around comes around. I just want all the guys to know if you runs in to this lady keep the hell moving r****** c******* is a damn user, she is a charming snake.

  • Dazling rishabh
    November 21, 2013 | Permalink |

    I love my female friend and she knowns that but she’s ignored this and did’nt talk to me after knowning that what should i do now?

  • aron
    December 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    So my recent-ex gf calls me at 1am. She said she needs a ride to her hotel bc she was out drinking. So i take her to the hotel and were in the room. She’s been drinking, but shes not wasted. She’s talking about how she misses me etc. (She ended the relation ship fyi) She starts talking about maybe we can try again etc. She starts trying to get intimate, when theres a knock at the door. This continues for about 5 minutes, and whoever is knocking obviously wants to make their prescence known. She just sits there, and I ask her if she had called anyone else. She just says “no”. I ask her if she’s going to go see who it is, and she just shrugs it off and says “its probably just some drunk f*&k knocking on the wrong door.” So i get up and look through the peep hole, and its some other guy. He’s dressed nicely, and sober. He is completely taken off guard when i answer the door, obviously wasnt looking for a guy. He apologized and walked away. I was very upset, especially since she just spent the last 30 minutes pouring her heart out to me, when I suspect she had called another guy over at some point before she got ahold of me. I asked her again if she called someone else over, her response was not very vindicating. I just told her I thought I should leave. She got all emotional and pissy, and tried deflecting the argument onto me. She’s called me repeatedly after I left. I have not answered or talked to her at all. Pretty sure I was being used and lied to. She wants me to believe that its a total coincidence that another guy showed up at her hotel room at 130am, sober, looking for a women (i gather from his surprise when i answered the door). Am I going overboard here, I don’t think so but I just want another opinion. I know shes been going out often since we split, knowing her she’s been with others since she dumped me. My plan as of now is walk away, and cut ties 100%.

  • megan
    January 25, 2014 | Permalink |

    Shes using you because she doesnt love you.

  • Essie
    February 2, 2014 | Permalink |

    FML. This is usually me. I’m a terrible person!! I’m starting to reach a point in my life where I’m starting to realize the seriousness of the mistakes I have made and wanting to change. I realize post of these comments are coming from guys. Let me be the first to say I am sorry for the wh*** and b**** I have been and for others W’s and B’s like me. NO ONE deserves this kind of degrading relationship.

  • JeffPro
    March 13, 2014 | Permalink |

    Guys – Girls want 3 things in a guy.

    Confidence – you are the MAN. You have to see it that way. You don’t have to be rude, or an ass, just be a man.
    Challenge – don’t be a slobbering putz
    and Control – Self-control.

    If you don’t have all of these things you are a tool to them.

    If you have all of these things you can get just about any woman you want. Practice, practice, practice. One day the practice will pay off and you will know exactly who you want, and you will get them.

  • Sarah
    March 21, 2014 | Permalink |

    Girls should read that too, boys do the same things when using them…

  • jonnysiew
    August 14, 2014 | Permalink |

    If someone’s actions do not match their words, then ” listen ” to their actions.

Join In!

Something you wanna say about this feature? Enjoy a great conversation right here...

Your email is never shared. Required fields are marked *

Love Couch

Flirting Flings

Sensual Tease

Men

Women

My Life

Travel and Health

Entertainment