If you’re not used to the wonders of a girl being upset, then you may not know how to comfort a girl correctly. This is how a girl likes to be comforted.
Girls are really interesting people. We are sensitive and tough at the same time. We like to take care of ourselves but also like to be taken care of, and we have certain ways we prefer to be comforted. So understanding how to comfort a girl is important.
Girls differ greatly from guys this way because of the way we process emotions and information. Guys like to process things internally where girls prefer to have someone to talk to and vent her worries and fears to.
Guys just don’t comfort girls the right way
It’s not necessarily a guy’s fault when he can’t comfort a girl the right way. The truth is that we’re just so different that what comforts a guy most likely makes the situation worse for the girl. We’re just different types of people!
That being said, many guys may need to learn how to comfort a girl the right way in order to avoid getting on her bad side and making matters that much worse. It’s also really good to be able to comfort your girlfriend in a relationship because that’s part of your job as her significant other!
How to comfort a girl the right way
You are in luck, fellas! There is no longer a reason to panic when your girl gets upset—or even any girl in your life. You benefit from helping your sisters, cousins, or even your mom!
If you can’t comfort a girl the right way, it can be hard to maintain a strong relationship with them. These tips help you understand how to comfort a girl correctly instead of comforting her the wrong way and making everything worse.
#1 Listen to her situation. And I mean REALLY listen to her tell you about her issues. Don’t just sit there pretending to listen to what she’s saying but then drift off into your own world. You have to hear her situation out and try to understand what she’s going through. [Read: 10 ways to be a better listener in your relationship]
#2 Give her a hug. Hugs make everything better for girls—unless you’re the problem, of course. Otherwise, give her a hug and just sit in the hug for a moment or so. The physical contact makes her feel better and relieves some of that stress.
#3 Speak softly and gently. Girls are very vulnerable creatures as is, and when we get upset it just heightens our emotions that much more. If you talk to her in a harsh manner or even yell for some reason, you’ll just set her off again. Use a soft tone, and it’ll be soothing to her.
#4 Offer your opinion. Whatever’s going on with her, you probably have an opinion. This is where you have to be careful, but you can definitely tell her what you’re thinking about it.
#5 Give her advice about the situation to make it better. You can even give her some advice about how you might handle the situation if you were in her shoes. Make sure to tell her it’s how YOU would handle it and not that that is how SHE has to do things.
#6 NEVER tell her to “calm down.” This is the single WORST thing anyone could ever say to a girl when she’s upset. We take this as, “You’re being crazy and unreasonable,” even if that’s not how you mean it. Avoid saying this at all costs if you want to walk away from her fully intact. [Read: 13 annoying boyfriend traits and how to avoid them]
#7 Tell her how strong she is. No, not that she could punch a hole through a brick building, but rather that she’s stronger emotionally than the issue at hand. Tell her she’s been through worse, and she can get through it no matter what and that you believe she can.
#8 Make sure to take her side. Never take the opposing side when a girl is upset. No matter what you really think, if you want to comfort a girl the right way, you take her side. If you don’t, she’ll just think you’re trying to argue with her and that winds her up.
#9 Don’t make snap judgments. If you want to know how to comfort a girl the right way, never start assuming things right away. If you interrupt her and sound like you’re judging her she’s going to be really angry with you. She’ll get even more upset. In order to comfort her right, you can’t make judgments about what she’s going through.
#10 Take her to her favorite place to eat. Food comforts pretty much everyone. When you hear that she’s upset, offer to take her out to her favorite place to eat while you two talk about what she’s going through. The familiarity of her favorite place lifts her spirits and your company will comfort her.
#11 Talk about good memories. This is a tactic that works more by distracting her more than anything else. If you relate these memories to her current problems, it’s even better. Bringing up good memories helps ease her mood and make her happier. [Read: When a woman is crying: The gentleman’s dos and don’ts]
#12 Give her extra attention. She might need more attention than normal during this time. She’ll want more hugs, kisses, and even more compliments from you. So go right ahead and give them to her. Feeling appreciated and loved comforts any girl, no matter her issue.
#13 Get her mind off her issues. Distraction is fantastic at comforting a girl! Even though it’s not directly dealing with the issue at hand, getting her mind of the issues by going out and having fun puts her in a better mindset to deal with those problems, and she’ll credit you for making it happen.
So take her bowling. Take her to see a great new movie. Take her mini golfing. Just take her out to do something fun to make her completely forget about the problems she’s facing. [Read: How to cheer your girl when she’s feeling down]
#14 Make her laugh. Be funny! If you can make a girl laugh, you comfort her almost instantly. Tell jokes, be goofy, and even fall or mildly injure yourself in order to make her laugh. When you cheer her up by making her laugh, you comfort her the right way.
#15 Let her know you’re always there for her. Girls like to know that they’re not alone in their problems. If you really want to comfort her, make sure she knows she can go to you for any problems in her life, big or small.
Knowing she has someone that cares enough to be there is such a comforting feeling for girls.