If your girl’s screaming out your name for the whole street to hear, is it all for show? Does loud sex really mean she’s faking it?
So you keep hearing your next-door neighbor’s girlfriend moaning and shouting way into the wee hours of the night. You think, “Man, they must be having such mind-blowing monkey sex!” or, “That guy must be a huge sex machine!”
As for you, you’re also turned on by women who are loud and raunchy in bed. You think that just because they’re very expressive in bed, they’re simply letting themselves loose as they get carried away in the utmost throes of the bliss that you’re serving up to them. But is this really the case? Is it true that if your girl is loud, it means you’re doing a great job and hitting all the right spots? Or are all those bedroom vocalizations just cinematic license on her part?
Many women are actually loud in bed. They moan, scream, loudly say their partner’s name, tell them to go faster or harder, or bark orders like a sex-driven dominatrix. In fact, a British study has showed that all of the 71 sexually active women studied do vocalize during sex, but this is not because they are having orgasms.
Here are the real reasons why your woman is loud during sex:
#1 It’s her response to pleasure. One of the most common reasons she moans in bed is because she’s simply loving what you’re doing. She’s probably one of those girls who is actually genuinely expressive when it comes to what she likes.
When something pleasurable happens to her, like dipping in a warm bath after a tiring day, or taking a sip from an exceptionally good cup of coffee, her sighs and moans are just an audible and involuntary response. So give her the benefit of the doubt. [Read: Foreplay done right – The art of really turning her on]
#2 She wants to turn herself on. So she’s moaning and getting loud pretty early on in your lovemaking sesh? This could also be because she wants to turn herself on. After all, getting horny doesn’t always come instantly, no matter how much foreplay you do. For her, there will be times when she’s probably too preoccupied or worried about something else in her life, and moaning is one of the most effective ways of getting herself in the mood and turning herself on. [Read: How to turn a girl on and excite her mind]
#3 She wants you to feel sexy. If you’ve had sex with someone who’s completely silent, then you probably know just how much of a difference a little vocalization makes. Having someone who moans, sighs, screams, or even grunts in bed enhances the overall experience. This is because it also makes you feel sexy, since there’s this preconceived notion that her moaning is proportionate to how good you are in bed. Loud sex also even encourages you to perform well and enhances your libido.
#4 She is telling you something. Whether she’s explicitly giving you orders or making different vocalizations, the sounds coming out of her mouth are also great vocal cues that will give you a good idea of what she wants and doesn’t want you to do.
So if you’re doing something she likes, she’ll tell you, “Oh yes!” or something along those lines. Then you know you’re on the right track and you should keep doing what you’re doing. However, when you’re doing something she doesn’t like, you’ll probably hear her less, or she might actually let you know with a “Not there, baby” and guide you to the right place. [Read: 23 things girls wish guys knew about a girl’s mind]
#5 Change the tempo. The tempo of her moans and heavy breathing can also be a great indicator of how fast and hard you should go. The faster her sex sounds, the faster your rhythm should be. If she suddenly stops or makes a pained sound, then this might mean you are going too hard or too fast. Sometimes, women like men to think they’re in charge, but what’s really happening is that they’re the ones telling you just what to do and how to do it, if very subtly.
#6 She wants you to feel good. When she moans in pleasure, you’ll know it. Her sex sounds are also a way for her to compliment just how well you’re doing and how fantastically you’re doing her. Think about it as an ego boost for you, right in the most intimate and most private moment that you share. She doesn’t have to use words, because the sounds she makes and how loudly she makes them is like your badge of honor, whether or not there are third-party listeners around. [Read: What women want in bed to feel sexy and loved]
#7 She doesn’t want sex to be boring. Sex is primal. It’s hot, sexy, raunchy, messy—and it is expectedly loud. There’s no better way to instantly limp down a rock-hard penis than being a quiet, frigid woman in bed. Some vocalizations are always a welcome addition to the bedroom repertoire, whether these are just low whimpers or top-of-the-lung shouts. These make the perfect natural soundtrack that can liven up your romp so you can both get into the moment and give your best performances every time. [Read: How to spice up your sex life in 30 sexy ways]
#8 It’s her response to pain. Aside from pleasures, sounds can be a manifestation of pain. Moans, grunts, and “aaahs” can also be an indication of painful sex for whatever reason. Therefore, you have to tune in to the sounds that she makes so you can always be sure that she’s comfortable and finding pleasure from all your efforts.
Loud sex: signs she’s just faking it
Of course, there are also those women who are overdoing it on bedroom noises, and you should watch out for those. Here are some signs that she’s faking it—and you need to only follow your ears to figure it out:
#1 Too loud too soon. Is she being loud in bed early on? She may be turned on, but not turned on enough to be making involuntary sounds that loudly that early on. In fact, men come quicker than women, so it would take it a while for her to get her “O”—unless you’re really just that good!
#2 It sounds rehearsed. Your gal may be watching too much porn to the point that it translates to her actual persona while the two of you are at it. Well, if she’s faking arousal and her orgasms, you’ll know it because it’ll sound fake and won’t match up with your rhythms or her facial expressions. [Read: 10 surefire ways to know if she’s faking her orgasm]
#3 You’re wondering yourself. So she starts shouting and writhing and being loud and dirty on you. If you’re left wondering how in the world you have made it possible to make her so damn pleasured, then that’s a red flag that she’s just putting on a show. [Read: 12 things guys do that makes girls want to fake it]
So there you have it. Most girls can tend to express themselves in bed with the softest sighs, or they may even be screaming out your name at the top of their lungs. It’s their way of expressing themselves, as well as getting you both in the mood for some good loving.
However, there’s always the possibility of overdoing things, which many women confess to doing for the reasons stated above. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you suck at sex, though. It could just be her way of making you feel special and appreciated. [Read: 9 more reasons why women moan and groan in bed]
So whether loud sex is really being faked or not, the only way to get to the bottom of it is to properly communicate with her. Be open to her feedback and use it to improve your performance in bed and make your bond even deeper and more intimate. Once you do this right, you can bet that you’ll have her screaming out… for real.
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Tiffany Grace Reyes
Tiffany is a wordsmith who has played with words ever since her letter-to-the-editor was published nationally at the age of 9. Since then her writing has gone f...