Home Men Understanding Women Do Girls Like Shy Guys Who Don’t Make A Bold Move?
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  • Karl
    October 25, 2012 | Permalink |

    I don’t agree with you. Again instead of saying you wanted an alpha male you had to write all that. This is the reason you women get dissapointed and cheated in the end, bc you want the cool guy. Guess what? They’re the ones who will not stand by you in the end. They’ll go to bed with many other girls bc they’re sooo confident they can get just about any. Do me a favor and try to evolve. We’re in the 21st century not in the Stone Age.

  • Karl
    October 25, 2012 | Permalink |

    Did you erase my comment? Wow

  • ShyGuy
    November 8, 2012 | Permalink |

    What you are (shy) and what you do (be bold and confident) don’t have to be the same thing, you may call it acting but when we get into it and understand where both sides are coming from, and truly feel it, is it acting anymore? or just becoming what we want by will and understanding?

    Humans have a flexibility and I encourage people to seek themselves. I also encourage people to not judge each other because I experiment a lot and when people see one thing, that is all they can see, they think that is all you will ever be.

    As for these cool guys are who will not stand by their women in the end, that’s not how I feel inside. I can be at times this bold alpha romantic guy and I do feel like I can get just about any girl but I always appreciate them. It does look like I am not sticking by a girl sometimes though when I am rapid fire flirting with everyone in the beginning. I’m part shy guy, and part alpha guy so you are totally talking about me. I read this stuff to reflect on what I do right and get new and old ideas.

    I would tell you the secret to being yourself, maybe a few root ideas and concepts that will help understanding, but I like my privacy and I plan on putting this material elsewhere without linking it to this “bragging” comment that feels too arrogant to me. I plan on evolving and giving my best ideas out there for free (wouldn’t mind the competition too much…) and maybe if you like my ideas it will help give me a good social position to get into a marketing career or something cool.

    Marketing is important because Steve jobs was an amazing guy, but it wasn’t until one of his grad speeches that I truly understood where he came from. He did do countless interviews and presentations that did show his intellectual sensitivity. brilliance, vision, and leadership, but I don’t think the average person knew because it wasn’t popular. This is where I plan on evolving and doing my campaign to show my brilliance.

    Here’s a simple idea. The key to being yourself and bring forth character is recognizing every part of yourself, some neglected, some nurtured, nurture everything. What these attractive people do is something we can all do.

  • totestrue
    January 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m a girl and I totally agree with this.
    As a girl I find shy guys absolutely unattractive. It doesn’t matter what he looks like- if I sense shyness and doubt, I automatically find him unattractive. In guys, confidence is attractive (however arrogance is not! you can be confident and nice at the same time!). Quiet confidence, however is <3333 Most of the guys I've fallen for have been quietly confident (they are assertive and have good social skills but don't put themselves out there. appearances only come into play when a guy is confident. when a guy doesn't participate, doesn't stand up for himself and doesn't speak confidently he is unattractive regardless of how 'hot' he may be)
    Be confident guys. Even if you aren't the hottest thing out there, if you're confident you'll be so much more attractive!!!!!!!!!! Once we sense shyness we turn away. Participate. Speak up. Do yo own thing (maybe that's why jerks appeal to us :P they aren't deterred by what people think). That's not to say you can't be sweet and confident though :) As long as you have self-confidence, all is well!

  • totestrue
    January 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    I know it has been ages before anyone last posted but I thought I’d just respond to ‘ShyGuy’. You’re obviously in denial because you can’t bear the thought of your shy nature being unattractive (I mean who wants to be told that part of their personality isn’t exactly appealing? ). I don’t quite get your post – correct me if I’m wrong but I find what you’ve stated to be a paradox.
    Once you start acting on behalf of yourself, and yourself only, you are no longer being shy. You are being confident because you are not deterred by the opinions of others. Shyness is the reluctance to do what you truly want to do because you are scared of what others think. It’s not participating because you’re doubtful of your abilities. And usually it means you have poor communication skills. That is unattractive. Girls don’t like that- they pity it. I can speak on behalf of all girls when I say that confidence (even quiet confidence) is attractive. It should be *shy* guys finish last. So amp up your self-confidence xx
    (part shy is no good. part sensitive is good. and fyi, this info on this page mainly applies to real shy guys. any shyness in a guy isn’t particularly attractive so get rid of it asap. )

  • jakkarra
    January 12, 2013 | Permalink |

    @totestrue, it’s girls like you who get and stay with guys that treat them like shit and seem to love it. a few words of advice from someone with far more intellect than yoyrself, stop trying to change people, some of us are just naturally shy, acting otherwise is just a front that will seen right through in time, people like shyguy should stay away from people like you who want to be dominated by some dickhead, so he my guest, get with all your sexy alpha males you that are so desirable to you (and all women according to you) but when you wake up in 20 years in a pool of blood and semen, don’t say that I wasn’t correct.

  • I think you've misunderstood me
    January 18, 2013 | Permalink |

    @jakkarra
    First off I was just trying to put it out there that confidence is very attractive because there’s this misconception (that a lot of naturally shy guys want to believe for their own sake) that the shy, quiet guy is attractive. It looks good on paper, but in reality, the shy quiet guy isn’t all that attractive.
    And I do get that some of you are naturally shy but it doesn’t hurt to be confident when you have to be. By getting what you want when you want it you don’t lose any opportunities (this applies to the dating world too). Don’t let your shyness (which mainly stems from insecurities- oh I’m not hot enough, oh she’s out of my league…) get in the way of what you really want, whether it be a job or a girl!!
    I actually find quiet confident guys extremely attractive. If you’re naturally introverted you can really score some points with women by being quietly confident (talk confidently, walk confidently: good posture, act confidently: eye contact, smile, face up, back straight). You don’t have to talk, but just make sure that when you do, you do it with confidence (don’t stutter, deep voice). Oh, and don’t be afraid to do yo thing.

  • Daniel
    March 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    This dident help me gain confidence at all now I just fell like giving up my dream to get a good girlfriend

  • josu
    March 28, 2013 | Permalink |

    First of all we must be ourselves i.e by being the way that makes us happy. Secondly we are not born to impress all girls . so when you like a girl that seems to like you back go for her. Being shy or introverted is just normal

  • Urusigh
    April 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m torn, this is the first article I’ve seen anywhere that actually tries to help the shy guy with any advice besides “Don’t be shy!”, so I’m pleased at the effort. On the other hand, I’m rather disappointed that it wraps up with the impression that being shy is somehow a bad thing. It’s just the other side of the coin from being exceptionally outgoing, which has downsides and annoyance factor of it’s own.

    Being shy =! being insecure or necessarily lacking in confidence. It’s simply being uncomfortable or disliking putting yourself out there (for whatever reason). Some people naturally enjoy being the center of attention and interacting with multiple other people simultaneously. Some don’t. That doesn’t necessarily stem from not being good at it, we just don’t like it or may even actively dislike it.

    I consider myself shy (most of my friends agree), yet I’m regularly complimented on my conversational skills (particularly with women since relationships and personal dreams are far more interesting to me than sports or cars), my speeches, and my essays. I don’t have trouble expressing myself and I’m certainly in possession of the self-esteem to weather the occasional rejection or negative response. That said, my skill at it doesn’t make giving a speech personally enjoyable. My conversational skills may be sharp, but I’m still not comfortable interjecting myself into ongoing conversations or socially interacting with more than a few people at a time. I’m comfortable when I know things and by definition I don’t know things about strangers. I enjoy watching quietly from the sidelines and trying to figure things out about people without having to ask. It’s the kind of puzzle that appeals to me. In short, I am not fearful, insecure, or socially inept, I’m just shy and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    Telling a shy guy he needs to stop being shy is like telling a guy who dislikes spicy food that he must eat it because other people respect someone who eats really spicy food. He may go along to get along when that’s the restaurant his friends pick, but he isn’t likely to ever enjoy it. He likes what he likes and dislikes what he dislikes and other people should respect that, not label it a personal weakness on his part.

    Seriously, if being an outgoing alpha was the only way to get together with women than I would expect shyness to have been bred out of the human race long ago. If you are naturally shy, don’t hurt yourself trying (or pretending) to be something you aren’t. Most women might not go for it, but you only need a single one who finds it sweet and attractive to her.

    I enjoyed and appreciated this article right up to the point where is says “The earlier you realize the need to change (being shy), the faster you can become a better man”

    That’s flat out insulting. Some guys may view shyness as a weight to be dropped ASAP, but that’s a value judgement that isn’t the author’s place to make. I’m happy to learn better ways to make my shyness work for me. but I’m not interested in hearing anyone unilaterally claim that extroverts are somehow better people than introverts. It’s poor form to be blatantly patronizing to your specified audience.

  • Kyosuke
    April 26, 2013 | Permalink |

    Agree with comment above, the article seems to state shyness as being a bad thing, how do you even define shyness today? It’s nothing more than a pop-culture construct appearing in everyday media, it ain’t real! What ever happened to the “strong but silent” male characteristics that instead should be admired? What about the pretentious hypocrites that “appears” to be confident in order to hit on every female creature that walks the earth? Strong, silent and noble males can sense pretentious males a mile away, a gift from evolution in order to protect your significant other, if such traits are identified as “shyness”, I don’t know what else to say…

  • Shadow
    May 6, 2013 | Permalink |

    I agree with Urusigh. I’m a bit shy and introverted myself especially when it comes to dating. It’s not that I’m insecure, it’s more like uncomfortable. I am comfortable in knowing stuff, not being uncertain to things. I do feel comfortable getting to know other people before dating them, but in today’s world it seems that the only way to get a date is by going up to random strangers and starting a conversation then asking them out while you barely know anything about them. I’m not complete against trying to get to know more about random strangers while dating because dating shouldn’t be about getting sex and should be about getting to know a person.

    Another thing is approaching those who are interested. I had enough women flirt with me for fun or a joke and compliment to know that most signs a woman gives mean absolutely nothing. I mean it’d be nice to know or see signs that someone is interested but when it comes to attraction it seems to be the only thing I can’t read out of people and probably because I’ve been falsely lead on so many time.

    Thing is I heard a lot of stuff saying “Shy guys don’t do anything and deserve to be alone”, “Shy guys have boring personalities and never make themselves seen”, or “shy guys are just losers who hate people”. To be honest we could sit here and judge people based off of who they naturally are or we could get to know them a bit and at least give them a chance.

    Being confident is probably the worst advice you could give anyone. Yes shy guys will ask a woman out and it does take a lot of confidence to ask a woman out. The difference between shy guys who ask women out and alpha guys is that shy guys just don’t ask any woman and every woman out. Shy guys ask out women who they are genuinely interested in and genuinely like.

    People could stick to their stereotypes about shy men being weak, but from experence at being both shy and introverted, I’d say I’d rather be like this than to conform to the world I tend to observe everyday.

  • Jonathan
    June 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    A lot of thesr supposed shy guys seem bitter and angry. Perhaps that’s why you have trouble finding women, not because you are shy.

    I find it works if one takes a college course for instance and sits down with an air of confidence at an open, but empty spot. Chances are a few women will sit next to you clearly interested. Never give them much attention. You want to find the girl willing to persue you. She will talk to you, you must be cool, calm, confident. Exchange a few sentences and smile sweetly. Always keep cool confident and calm. After a week start initiating conversation, but leave early and make sure she wants more… The key is you got to ignore her sometimes and you have to know what you can and can’t ignore. Make sure she’s always on the prowl. Never put yourself in the chasing position.

    If you’re not cute and stylish this will not work

  • Darwin
    September 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    i read something interest about shy guys on 9GAG, one comment there said: “shy guys should not get any girl! let natural selection work! only the best will reproduce” come to think about it… it can actually be true

  • Ontario
    September 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    I am actually shy. Some of the things like opening up to people I just cant do. I still go to school and im afraid to not just talk to the girl I like but to everybody. You know how you get scared watching scary movies when some monster pops up out of no where, thats how it feels to me just to walk in thd halls. And sith a fear like that, its hard to makeany trasformation. I feels like if I move to fast im going to be melted down by stares. Its already enough that I cant even have a regulsr conversation. The one thing I dont like the most is when the only ghing they ask me is why im shy. How can I have a conversation when I dont know shy im shy.

  • o
    October 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    Well I guess there is no point in my life YOLO

  • Oskar
    October 29, 2013 | Permalink |

    Look, I am a shy guy when it comes to talking with a girl but I can still take a punch and I am not really scared of anything. so when you said that shy guys can’t take a punch, that offended me.

  • Endrew
    November 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    I am a shy guy too. If you posted something bad about shyness you are a complete idiot. I can take a punch literally and figuratively plus will go out and show just how bold if I have a good reason. Just because I am shy does not mean I’m a wimp. It just means I am not happy in large.social events and such. I will stand for.what I believe in. Survival of the fittest means mentally too. Let’s say im an animal walking along, keeplook.a put of something that looks dangerous, there’s food on the other side, I will charge.through it to get the food. That’s a cocky person who thinks he’s the best. Another animal sees the same thing but goes around. That’s the smart shy one who thinks things through to avoid bad consequences. Shy isn’t bad, it can keep you from trouble.and even help.you get what needs to get done. So shut up with the insults. That’s what makes us mad jerks.and animals who run through the dangerous looking pit for a bite of food. That is all you are if you believe the quote by Darwin. Sorry for typos my phone keyboard is annoying.

  • Endrew
    November 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    One more thing you should know. If you believe that being shy is bad because of people like Jonathon up there than just know he is an idiot, a jerk, and done swear words I won’t say. In other words he is the dead animal from last post.The iconic football player is just like him, cocky until they realize that the smart shy kid.they bullied in school is their boss. Or they die, which means they are probably single or in a very temporary relationship. Never listen to them they are just the cocky people and bullies. Be shy but try to step out of your comfort zones occasionally and see just what all you can do. That’s what I try and am happy with my life. Always stay true to who you are and who you want to be. That’s what matters not the opinions of others. That’s my advice and opinion on this. Find yours. By the way, for those that aren’t shy and hate shy people, WHY DID YOU LOOK THIS UP AND READ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, ONCE.AGAIN YOU ARE.IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!

  • mistie
    February 13, 2014 | Permalink |

    For all you “shy guys” .. the beta is the new alpha… (relationship worthy) women are tired of being treated like sh*t… and we’re also tired of the bad boy act. So keep doing what you do as long as its not an act or if you have rejection issues. Please work on that. We all get rejected at some point in our lives.
    If you want a quality woman, just try and meet us half way. If we smile at you, it means approach us and talk to us. Don’t make us do all the work. The good ones will always meet you in the middle and not make you chase us. The women who make men chase them are usually the one’s who are into games. I used to be that type.
    I get approached by alphas (including married men and players), I can read them a mile away and avoid them (run away). I crush hard on the shy guys but they never take the extra step to talk to me even after I’ve given them the signals. I don’t like to feel like I’m doing all the work to communicate. It’s taxing. Please try, look up and around, see who smiles at you, you’d be surprised, I promise {x-ing heart} .. you won’t be disappointed…

  • Shyness
    February 14, 2014 | Permalink |

    I am in abit of a mass, I like a shy guy who seems to be in to me too. And although I spoke to him several times on being more attentive and caring, we seem to be going nowhere. But when I confront him again and telling I won’t continue trying and insisting he is offended ask me not to give up on him. I ain’t know what to do since things don’t seem to be changing.

  • Fernando
    March 1, 2014 | Permalink |

    I would say that I’m a shy guy, but I’m definitely not a chicken or stupid as this article states. Yes, I can be shy to talk to someone, or try to avoid conflicts, but I also like to express my opinions and if I have to defend my girl, myself or anybody who matters to me, I don´t step back, and this has been proved. Yes, I can listen to what she has to say for hours, I care about her, but I’m not stupid, I have balls.
    Now, the thing about shyness, perhaps most of the time is about self-confidence, but is also about trust someone, I cannot trust somebody I just met, I cannot express myself freely because I don’t really know what he/she thinks. You have to observe that person, that’s why we are great listeners; we are not just listening nonsense, we really care about what she has to say. She gave you her trust, we trust her eider.
    We all have limits, and the shy guys may have upper limits than the not shy guys, but doesn’t mean that we have no balls, we may have bigger balls, thin is that you just cannot go to war for some nonsense minor shit, does that thing really affects that person you like? Does that thing really affect you? Then go fight for it!
    You could talk to my friends, and most of them would tell you that at the beginning I was quite a shy guy, but now they know I trust them and I would give myself for them. Shyness is not a kind of living, is just a first face some person manifest, but at the end, the best, cause that person who really is committed to find what’s behind, will find much better things.
    As I said before, I may by shy, but I’ not stupid! :)

  • kenny
    March 16, 2014 | Permalink |

    Okay, I been reading through article comments I been going through other articles and such. Being shy not for everyone manly my self easy over come or even be able beat. Me I been shy since I little kid I still am. Reason being I was young I get judged picked on and ECT. This lead me being shy have small group friends. Not being able ask girl out due people make fun of you after or all rejections. Acting like your something not help you over come the fear. Alright like one commented above I’m afraid talk people general from past experiences that I only talked to the few who approached me and talked. Being shy not ITS BETTER BEING THE DOUCHBAG who can’t treat the girl right who she keeps dating. For shy guys girls we are oblivious at times when your flirting, were not sure your being nice or like us. Girls want guy be direct shy guys need girl be bit direct too. Alright we may not be brave,bold,and such but we want treat girl to best. That’s why we always ask not act. If we act on instinct or what we think she making move I should do this well we be screwed we not be sure either. Anyone says being shy is bad they need change or be alone I say this. GO LOOK AT A MIRROR. You know you see persons didn’t try harder get know shy boy who ate lunch by him self by stair case
    the shy boy you see being alone on lab project he to scared ton ask anyone. One who(depending on person) cries due this reasons. This all what I said also applies shy girls not just boys either. Sorry for rambling and such just a topic that hits me hard st the heart. Thanks for reading if you do. Shy boys and girls find each other. For no one should ever be alone….never.

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