Crazy Wife: 25 Silly Things Men Do that Make Their Wife Go Crazy

Crazy Wife

If I had a dime for every time I heard a guy say he has a crazy wife… News flash, we are all crazy. If you want it to stop, evaluate what you do.

Okay, so when my husband and I first started hanging out, he was just coming out of a relationship, and I was currently in one. So, when he began telling me that he didn’t like women because, in the end, they were all crazy, my question to him was “were they crazy when you met them?”

Don’t get me wrong, I know plenty of people that I would describe as a crazy wife, but within their craziness are factors that you can’t see.

There is such a thing as a crazy wife though. I have seen it; truth be told, I have been one once or twice, or a thousand times. So, although we all can be a little off kilter at times, if you are consistently misbehaving, it might be a little more than just a bad mood.

25 things that bring out the crazy wife and how to put her away

Women are conditioned to handle everything. A multi-tacker at heart, there is only so much she can handle before she unhinges. If you have a crazy wife, then chances are good that you are doing something that is fostering it by not helping to stop it.

Whether it is ignoring her, not being appreciative of her, or running from her, if she wasn’t crazy before you met her and you got to marriage before the crazy came out, then you are doing something to perpetuate it. I promise.

If you just use these decoders and proceed with care, then you can either stop the crazy once it comes out the closet, or at best, tame the beast before it devours you. [Read: 12 signs you’re the selfish one in the relationship]

#1 Nothing NEVER means nothing… probe more. If you ask her what is wrong and her answer is nothing, or if she uses the phrase “it’s fine,” those are two code words for things aren’t fine, and it isn’t nothing. Those types of passive aggressive answers mean that you best start figuring out what you did wrong before all hell breaks loose.

#2 Know her monthly cycle to avoid conflict. Yep, we turn just slightly crazier before our periods. If you know when it is about to happen, you can avoid the tide. Giving her a little extra breathing room, a little more help, or showing her just a little more concern during certain times of the month can help her get through the rough week ahead for you both. [Read: 20 things you should never say to girls on their period]

#3 When she is talking to you, she assumes you are listening, so do so. If she is talking to you, then put your phone down, or stop watching television for the five minutes of your time she needs, and instead of just watching her lips move, actually listen.

I know that it seems like 90% of what we say you don’t need to know, but to avoid the crazy wife, you have to do this.

#4 If she won’t look you in the eye, that spells trouble. If she’s so mad that she can’t look you in the eye, you did something. Ask her what you did immediately instead of trying to ride it out.

#5 When she slams doors, drawers, or plates around, that means “get your ass off of the couch and help.” Nope she isn’t just being sloppy, she is PISSED. [Read: 16 reasons why some people are always taken for granted]

#6 If she is angry, don’t ignore it. I mean don’t ever ignore it! Just like a two-year-old, the more you ignore an angry woman, the angrier you make her. Suck it up, grow a pair, and find out what is making her so mad. Hell, even apologize.

#7 Anniversaries and birthdays are a huge friggin’ deal. Don’t ask why… they just are. [Read: 8 relationship dates men should never, ever forget]

#8 If she is in a fight with her bestie, you are too, ghosting is a team effort. That includes family members too. You always take her side, period.

#9 DON’T, and I mean EVER, call her crazy! [Read: How to be a better husband – 15 ways to a happy wife, happy life]

#10 Even if you know she’s on her period, don’t mention it or point it out, especially if she’s being extra crazy. Her period is something that you don’t ever talk about out in the open unless she initiates it.

#11 If she asks if you want to go somewhere, she isn’t really asking you, she is telling you. If she asks if you want to do something, you should just say “yes” and mark your calendar.

#12 When you walk through the door and get that look *yep, guys we all know it*, have heavy shoulders and jump right in to help with whatever it is that she’s struggling with. Put her off guard by immediately asking “what’s wrong” or “hey you look like you need help,” instead of pulling away and disappearing.

#13 If the trash is placed by the door, that means “take out the trash.” So do it. [Read: Best husband ever! 10 gestures that make a man a brag-worthy catch]

#14 If she makes a sigh sound while picking up your socks, shirts, and jeans that means, “screw you.” For a week or two maybe just try to hit the hamper, or even better, take your own shit to the laundry room.

#15 When she is mad if you say “I love you” sincerely, she will forgive you and put the crazy away *I swear!* I know every guy reading this is saying “no way, that won’t work.” Guess what, it will. If you are sincere and you just say it, it melts the crazy wife away.

#16 If she is talking aggressively to you, listen to the words instead of reading her body language; they will give you the answer. Don’t be confused by her agitated body language. She might not be a crazy wife, listen to her words, she might just be stressed out.

#17 The crazy eyes aren’t going away. If you run, they are going to chase your ass. [Read: Cute and really sweet ways to make your woman happy]

#18 Those tiny comments do mean something. Passive aggressive, aggressive aggressive, if she makes a tiny comment, it means something really big so don’t think that your wife is just teasing or being funny.

#19 A passive aggressive text message should be answered with an “I’m sorry,” even if you aren’t. The best way to avert a crazy wife is just to suck it up and say you are sorry. You can fight it out and maybe be right, maybe not. Or you can avoid three days’ worth of misery and just say “sorry.”

#20 Duck and weave, just duck and weave. Sometimes a crazy wife can come and go like the wind, literally. If you want to make her go back to where she came from, then you have to duck and weave by letting her take the lead.

That means if she’s mad, apologize. If she’s sad, hold her. If she hates you, then just let her be. It is going to take you trying a couple of maneuvers at times to navigate her mood. [Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules for happy love]

#21 If you hear her slam the toilet seat down you better apologize asap. You have no idea what it is like to land your ass on a cold toilet in the middle of the night!

#22 Don’t be Captain Obvious… she knows she burnt the toast, dinner, or dented her car. If she does something stupid, you don’t have to point it out. She feels stupid and bad enough, just let her have it and pretend it is no big deal.

#23 Going out for a guys’ night after getting into an argument or a fight with her is more than likely not a good idea. If the body is still cold, then stay in and let it settle. There will be other nights, I promise. Otherwise, you are going to come home to an even crazier wife.

#24 Your passive aggressiveness doesn’t make you the better person, if you have something to say, man up and friggin’ say it. We hate when you give us the “nothing” too, so don’t. If you have a problem, then don’t make us beg, that makes us CRAZY.

#25 When you come home from vacation, don’t complain about how “tired” you are or try to tell us how you didn’t have a good time. We don’t care. If you were lucky enough to get away and left her at home to watch the kids, then keep your tired pity party to yourself. [Read: How to be happy in a marriage]

Overworked, feeling under-appreciated, and pissed that she never even gets to go to the store on her own, you are going to find a crazy wife if you whine about how your bad behaviors made you tired.

Everyone has the potential to behave crazy; women just do it a whole lot better. If you want to keep the crazy in the closet, then don’t bury your head in the sand. And, don’t think that if you just ignore her, it will all go away. If you do, then you are poking the monster.

If she wasn’t crazy when you met her, I don’t need to be Captain Obvious and tell you that what you are doing is not keeping the crazy wife hidden; you are setting a bait to bring her out.

I am going to sell out my gender, we are crazy… at times, some of us more than others. But, men, I will tell you that the measurement of crazy is typically gauged by the relationship that we are in and the buttons that are pressed.

[Read: Marriage advice – 11 tips for happily ever after]

If you think you have nothing to do with her craziness, think again. No relationship is perfect, but if you stop the avalanche top down by spotting these triggers, then you just might not have a crazy wife anymore!

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Julie Keating
Julie Keating

A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...

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One thought on “Crazy Wife: 25 Silly Things Men Do that Make Their Wife Go Crazy”

  1. John says:

    What a bunch of utter crap. Here’s my answer, point by point:
    1. So accept that she’s lying to you? No.
    2. You are in charge of your mood, not me. I don’t care when your period is.
    3. Of course. This is common courtesy.
    4. We are both adults. If you’re mad, you can tell me why.
    5. Not applicable. I do all that stuff in our house.
    6. Actually, ignoring a 2yo’s tantrum is a good strategy. And if a woman is acting like a 2yo, she needs to be ignored.
    7. Only if you’re insecure. And insecurity is very unattractive.
    8. No, she’s a big girl and can fight her own battles.
    9. Then don’t be crazy. If she’s sensitive about being called crazy, that’s proof that she is.
    10. Her period is no excuse. If you don’t want to be called crazy, don’t be crazy.
    11. She can be a big girl and tell me what she wants. I’m not a mind reader. This is so hypocritical; telling a men not to be passive aggressive but giving the woman permission to do so.
    12. She can be a big girl and communicate her needs. I don’t bother her with my problems.
    13. Not applicable. I always take out the trash. It’d be nice if she did once in a while.
    14. How about when I’m picking up her crap? My stuff is always put away.
    15. If I do love her, it’s not conditional on whether she’s mad or not. And if she needs to be constantly told, she is insecure (see #7).
    16. Of course I listen to her words, unless she has a track record of lying to me (see #1).
    17. Maybe not, but if she’s crazy I’ll be going away for good.
    18. Again, passive aggressiveness is not appropriate in a mature relationship, and she’d better learn to communicate like an adult. Or I’ll go find an adult to be with.
    19. No. I’m not passive aggressive, and my apologies mean something. I don’t expect to be lied to, and I won’t lie to her. She needs to apologize when she’s wrong, or we’re through. I do apologize when I’m wrong.
    20. I’m not going to “navigate” anything. Adults are in control of their moods. I’ll navigate myself right out of the relationship.
    21. The toilet has this handy thing called a lid, and it has a hinge. It’s rather easy to put it up or down. I always leave it down. Learn how to work the lid.
    22. Agreed. But you better not do this to me. Don’t make up rules that you don’t intend to live by.
    23. Leaving for any reason when she’s being stupid and crazy is a good idea. If she doesn’t like it feel free to go.
    24. I can’t even begin to point out the hypocrisy of this statement, after the crap you’ve written above.
    25. It wouldn’t be a vacation without my kids, and I wouldn’t go without them. And if I’m tired, I’m tired. Deal with it or leave.

    You’ve just proven that women are crazy by writing this stupid article. But you know what, I believe you. This is honestly what women are like. No wonder men are running away opting out of relationships these days. If women can’t figure out why, they’re as stupid as they are crazy.

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