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What to Text a Girl: Dos, Don’ts and All the Secrets to Know

what to text a girl

Texting a girl for the first time is nerve-wracking, so we’re revealing the exclusive list of the ultimate do’s and don’ts for what to text a girl.

Texting a girl is a fun and easy way to communicate. But texting can also be a type of social hell, especially if you don’t know what to text a girl and yet, you’re trying to flirt with her!

Oh sure, it sounds easy enough. There’s little pressure, a supposed easy back and forth, and plenty of ways to seem charming and worthy of a date. So why do so many guys find it difficult to make the move on their big crush?

As with most other forms of electronic communication, so much tone and emphasis is lost in texting. Without an actual voice on the other line, it can be difficult to detect emotion, which makes it ridiculously easy for her to misconstrue your meaning.

The result? One pissed off girl who’s showing your texts to her friends and laughing at you. Want to up your flirting game and make your life a whole lot easier? Don’t worry! We have your back. Here are 10 dos and don’ts for what to text a girl.

What to text a girl: The dos and don’ts you need to know

As it turns out, there really is texting etiquette for what to text a girl that won’t result in you getting blocked, laughed at, or broadcast via social media. Here are the basic dos and don’ts of texting.

The Dos

#1 DO: Text her right away. One survey by Dating Metrics revealed that a whopping 89% of women said they’d like your first contact to occur within the first 48 hours. What’s more? 73% chose text messaging as their preferred method of contact with a new person. [Read: Text messages to start a sexy conversation]

#2 DO: Let her know that you’re thinking about her. Women love to know that you’re thinking of them. Whether she’s romantically interested in you or not, there’s still something nice about knowing somewhere in the great wild yonder, someone has you on their mind. Just don’t follow up with a text describing how you’re thinking about her with a raging hard-on.

#3 DO: Use her name. Everyone likes to be called by their name, even through text! This shows you’ve taken an interest in her enough to learn her name. It also lets her know the message is specifically for her, and you’re not just spamming the same lame come-on to every girl in your contact list. [Read: How to text a girl and make her want you]

#4 DO: Send her ‘little randoms.’ Sometimes, learning what to text a girl has less to do with starting a conversation and more to do with giving her an anecdote. If you run across a wacky customer at work or witness a real character in line at your local coffee shop, share your experiences with her!

You’re not looking to chit-chat, you’re looking to entertain her. Take a mental note of hilarious tidbits you encounter throughout the week and hit her where it counts – her funny-bone!

#5 DO: Get to know her. That’s the whole point of learning what to text a girl, right? Send her cute texts that are simple enough for her to answer quickly, but that have the potential to start a conversation and get to know her better. [Read: 60 get-to-know-you questions for a new romance!]

The don’ts

#6 DON’T: Text a breakup or a revelation. Thinking of crushing your girl’s heart via text message? It may be the new norm, but we still think it’s totally bad form to do this over text.

The new age of immediate response makes it that much quicker to dump someone out of your life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t show a little respect. Forgo text, and see her in person, call, or Skype instead.

Similarly, if you’re about to tell her something mind-blowing or devastating *like you’ve been cheating or her dog just died*, at least give her the courtesy of a Face Time call! [Read: How to break up with your girlfriend like a man]

#7 DON’T: Harass her with texts if she doesn’t answer. There’s little in life that is more annoying than being harassed via text message or social media. Get a clue, dude, she’s ignoring you for a reason! When it comes to what *not* to text a girl, take a lesson from this guy:

“I once texted a girl to hang out and she didn’t answer, even after several texts. I thought for sure she was into me, so I had no problem calling her once I knew she was off of work. She didn’t pick up.

I was friends with her brother, so I casually asked him if he knew where she was. He said she always listens to music loud and doesn’t always hear her phone.

Genius that I am, I showed up at her house. She answered the door in her workout clothes, looking mortified. I told her I’d been trying to get a hold of her. ‘I know,’ she said, irritated. ‘I’ve been avoiding you.’ Note to self: Learn to take a hint.” – T.J., 29 [Read: 10 clear signs you should back off when you’re pursuing a girl]

#8 DON’T: Be a dumbass. There’s a fine line between being flirtatious and just being downright creepy. Take a moment to re-read your text to a girl before you hit the send button. If it makes you sound like a serial killer or a total perv, odds are you should delete it and start again. For example, don’t repeat this texting horror story:

“Calling it a huge mistake doesn’t even begin to cover my story. My daughter-in-law is the most playful girl around. I was texting her one night, and she said she was lying in bed bored. I said ‘want to play a game?’ She said sure. I told her whatever photo I sent her she had to mimic and send back to me.

I had a picture of a silly monkey ready to send, but she began texting me back, horrified by my vague description of the game. Then she asked if I was about to send her dirty photos so she’ll send me some of her.

She furiously texted me things like, ‘You’re crossing a line! I’m your daughter-in-law!’ Ugh. That was not what I intended. Needless to say, I had a huge explanation/apology to give both her and my wife the next morning” – Allen, 51 [Read: 20 texting etiquette tips and tricks for classy dating]

#9 DON’T: Send her *unsolicited* dick pics. This should really go without saying by now, and yet so many men are still on the dick-pic bandwagon. And let’s be honest, if she wanted you, she could probably have had you by now. So no, she doesn’t need – or want – to see your throbbing cock. If she did, you’d know about it. [Read: 20 most common ways girls would respond to an unwanted dick pic]

#10 DON’T: Say your first “I love you.” “I love you” is still one of the most monumental moments in a relationship. The highlights are first date, first “I love you,” your engagement, your wedding, and any subsequent babies you may have. That’s the list! Don’t cheapen an amazing moment like your first “I love you” by making her guess your tone of voice through words on a screen.

Be a romantic and say it in person! The only exception to this rule is if you are in a long distance relationship. Even then… man up and Skype her instead! [Read: When should you say “I love you” for the first time?]

Learning what to text a girl doesn’t have to be difficult. It should be painless, and dare we say, enjoyable. Follow our list of dos and don’ts for what to text a girl, and she’ll eventually learn to love you.

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Minot Little
Minot Little

Minot Little is a freelance writer who has been getting paid for spreading her sarcastic take on love, life, and sex since 2010. She is many things that peop...

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