Have you ever wondered what attracts a woman to another woman, or how to tell if a woman is attracted to another woman? It might explain a few things!
Attraction can be a confusing thing. It’s also true that everyone shows their attraction in a slightly different way too. So your female friend may be crushing on you and trying to tell you, but you’re missing the signs. So, how can you tell if a woman is attracted to another woman?
Are there clear signs or it is more subtle? Can it be confused for close friendship? In some ways, yes, but learning what attracts a woman to another woman also doesn’t help matters, because that can be different for everyone too!
It’s important to get it right before you say or do anything. If this is someone you’re close to already and you suspect that they want something more than friendship, you don’t want to risk everything unless you’re sure.
The key? Knowing the signs, listening to your gut, and giving it a little time to be sure before you take any action – should you even want to.
[Read: Friend crush – Should you worry about it or is it totally harmless?]
If a woman is attracted to another woman, does it always mean they’re a lesbian?
Not necessarily. Of course, for some women, it may mean that, and that’s perfectly fine. But it can also mean something different.
We sometimes mistake attraction for admiring someone. It could simply be that you admire another woman and you’re assuming that it means you’re sexually attracted to them.
After all, many straight women have lesbian fantasies and it doesn’t mean that they’re gay. It can just be something that they indulge in when they want to turn themselves on, and it’s purely something which stays in their mind. [Read: What it means to enjoy lesbian fantasies as a straight woman]
However, if you start to feel more than attraction, if you start to feel like you would want to take these feelings to another level and actually act on them, that could be a sign that you need to explore your sexuality.
What you shouldn’t do is jump in and just assume that it means you’re a lesbian.
It may be a fleeting crush that passes, or it could be something that sticks around and grows. Either way is totally fine, but don’t worry unnecessarily or make assumptions just because you have a different kind of feeling about another woman. It’s not always the case that it means you’re a lesbian. [Read: Am I a lesbian? 20 clues to know the truth without asking around]
How to tell if a woman is attracted to another woman
Maybe you’re straight and just don’t want to send the wrong message, or perhaps you’re bisexual/lesbian and want to know the subtle hints behind knowing how to tell if a woman is attracted to another woman. Like with anything, there are signs. Let’s check out how to tell if a woman is crushing on another woman.
1. You feel it in your gut
If you’re a woman, and you try to figure out if your female friend is into you, well, you’ve already felt it. Come on, it’s time to listen to your gut instinct and intuition.
You know when someone is into you, and you know when they’re not. It’s that’s simple. Now, your ego comes into play and tries to distort your perception so that you don’t get hurt. At the end of the day, you know. [Read: Help! My gay friend is coming on to me!]
2. A constant stream of compliments
It’s normal for women to compliment each other, but there’s a line when it becomes more than just, “Oh hey, I love your bag.”
If a woman constantly compliments another woman on her appearance or internal beauty, well, then obviously someone has a crush. Think about it, when you like someone, you always try to tell them how amazing they are.
3. She’s awkwardly nervous
When you really like someone, you have problems forming sentences. You’re stuttering, you’re nervously sweating, it’s mayhem.
If she’s talking to a guy and she’s calm around him but then when she’s with another woman she can’t function properly, well, she’s probably not as into the guy as it may appear. [Read: Am I lesbian or bisexual? How to understand your true desires]
4. She remembers all the small things
Women pay attention to things that are important to us, just like men. People always think men and women are very different, but in this case, we’re very similar.
If you like someone, you’re going to remember every stupid little thing they said because you actually care. When you care, you remember. If she remembers those little details, sure, she could be a good friend, or she could have feelings for you.
5. She stays close by
If you see two female friends together, they hang out but they also have time apart and aren’t anxious when they’re at a party talking to different people – they don’t care in that way.
But, if a woman is unable to leave the side of another woman and she wants her close by, she wants to be next to her. [Read: 10 answers to dumb questions that people ask lesbians]
6. She gets touchy
It’s normal to touch your friends and people you’re talking to. Maybe you touch their arm when you’re laughing, but you usually only touch people you’re attracted to.
Can you remember the last time one of your female friends rubbed your arm while you were talking? See? It’s not a regular thing and it’s a good hint that she’s into women.
7. There’s some flirtation
Women flirt with other women without having any sexual intentions. That’s why it’s not easy to know how to tell if a woman is attracted to another woman.
Often, women are slightly more fluid than men when it comes to sexual attraction or experimentation with genders. However, if there’s some serious flirting going on, that isn’t just for fun.
Flirting is all about building sexual tension, so, don’t be surprised if something happens. [Read: Your first-time lesbian experience – How to try it minus the awkwardness]
8. It’s in the eyes
It really is all in the eyes. Everyone knows the look when someone wants to have sex with you. It looks like they want to strip you and rip your clothes apart—in the single best way possible.
If she’s giving you eyes like she wants to eat you, it’s because she wants to eat you, literally. Just think of those moments you’ve had with people before they kiss you—that’s the look. You know it very well.
9. You have all her attention
People may come in and out of the conversation, but her eyes are locked onto you. You have every ounce of her attention, and she couldn’t care less about anyone else joining your conversation.
You’ll notice this during parties since most people don’t have any issue socializing with other people. But, she doesn’t want to talk to anyone else but you. [Read: 15 very subtle signs of female bisexuality to understand someone who likes both genders]
10. She brings up your sexual preferences
Maybe you two never talked about your sexual preferences or your experiences with a girl, but she brought it up. Now, why would she do that if she isn’t interested in you?
She may be seeing how open-minded you are and what your boundaries are. Have you ever asked a friend of yours if they prefer men or women or both? Never, probably. Why? Because you’re probably not into them in a sexual way. [Read: 20 unmistakable signs your friend is crushing on you]
11. She laughs at everything
Sure, you could be hilarious, but mix this with touching and flirting, and it’s not just because you told a good joke.
People usually laugh at the jokes of people they’re attracted to. Now, as we said, you could just be funny, but if she’s rubbing your arm and trying to cozy up while laughing and looking deeply into your eyes, you know.
If you think your friend is attracted to you, what should you do?
Okay, it may not be a friend, it could be a co-worker or someone you’ve just met, but the point is the same. Should you do something about it?
Basically, only if you feel it too. That’s why you need to be aware of the signs of what attracts women to other women and give it some time.
You need to be sure that you’re feeling it too and that you’re not misreading the signs for something else. Sometimes it’s easy to let your ego run riot! [Read: The rise of the fake lesbian – Cool cliche or an insult to real lesbians?]
If you feel like you have an attraction for her, maybe start showing the signs back at her and see what she does. She’s already been pretty bold by showing you how she feels in an indirect way, so she may be testing the waters and waiting to see if you return them.
If not, maybe you should make your own move. Yes, it’s scary and yes, if you aren’t sure you’ve read the room properly you could end up making a huge mistake. But, isn’t it worth it to find out?
If she’s showing you several of these signs, you don’t really need to learn more about how to tell if a woman is attracted to another woman. She’s already telling you pretty loud and clear. [Read: How to tell if a girl is gay by the wy she behaves around you]
What if her attraction makes you uncomfortable?
Perhaps she’s reached the point where she’s being obvious about how she feels. If you’re not comfortable with it, then you really need to speak up.
Firstly, ask yourself why you’re not comfortable. Is it because she’s being pretty aggressive in her attraction? If that’s the case, you can sit down with her and carefully explain that her flirting is making you feel a little uneasy. Explain that you don’t feel that way towards her but that your friendship is so important to you.
It’s vital to do this in a very sensitive way. You don’t want to upset her and make her feel embarrassed.
But, if she’s obvious about her attraction in a way that doesn’t make you feel very comfortable, you shouldn’t have to put up with feeling uneasy around her either.
[Read: Is she a lesbian? 20 signs your BFF is getting a bit too close for comfort]
Now that you know how to tell if a woman is attracted to another woman, it’s time to go out and see if you can spot them. If she’s displaying more than a couple of these signals, then it’s safe to say she’s into women. Now, that doesn’t mean she’s not into men, she could be bisexual. Not so easy to figure out, eh?
