Knowing how to talk to a girl for the first time is a nerve-wracking experience for most guys. No one can be spared the gruelling experience of the first time.
That’s why we marvel at those smooth-talking guys gifted with A-grade conversation skills. The ones that walk calmly towards the girl, open with a dazzling conversation starter, follow through with a series of lines to get them hooked, and finally walk off victorious with either her phone number or better yet, her curiosity. Just what is their secret behind knowing how to talk to a girl for the first time?
How to talk to a girl for the first time
Even before she hears you talk, she will first notice your appearance as you approach. That alone will play a significant amount to your success or failure. So in order to make the pending exchange run smoothly, make yourself presentable.
#1 Mind your hygiene. Talking to a girl means that you stand near her personal space making her sense more than just the words coming out of your mouth when you talk. Keep this shared biosphere more pleasant by packing those mints with you and making sure you’ve showered before your day started. [Read: 7 smelly body parts that can ruin everything]
#2 Pay attention to the way you dress. Think like a salesman. If you sell yourself, at least consider that the goods come wrapped in good packaging. This doesn’t mean you should dress like a dandy or buy expensive clothes in order to talk to a girl. Just dress appropriately and comfortably in a way that you don’t look like you just came out of bed.
#3 The walk towards her. The manner you close the distance is important as well. If you approach her in a way that she sees you first, she guesses that you want to start a conversation and then prepares for it. Any other kind will be invasive and cause alarm that ruins your chances. [Read: 15 dos and don’ts for how to approach a girl]
#4 Approach her in a way where she can see you. You know how guys are: they stare or hesitate at first before taking the first step. Do this as long as she can see you as you go near her. Sneaking up on her or cornering her is something that muggers and stalkers do. Avoid this type of approach.
#5 Body Language. Body language can make or break the conversation. If proper body language is used, it will greatly complement subpar conversation skills. In the same way, having the gift of gab will be useless if you’re quite poor in the body language department. [Read: 15 tips you absolutely must know before you approach any girl]
#6 Smile. Remember this: a smile disarms the most hostile of situations. Smiling makes people feel less wary, and it lightens the general mood of the people it gets directed to. It sows the idea that you are friendly and that you mean no harm. It makes your appearance more pleasing. [Read: How to smile more often and change your world]
#7 Make eye contact. Eye contact is a sign of respect, confidence, and sincerity. Always look her in the eyes when talking to her as it will be interpreted as a sign that you hold your own in a conversation. This also helps keep your eyes from looking at other parts of her body.
#8 Use hand gestures. Using hand gestures helps you appear more confident and comfortable as a conversationalist. The right hand gestures emphasize a point, add flair to your sentences, and create an atmosphere of calm and self-assurance.
#9 Mind her personal space. The way we occupy another person’s personal space is often an overlooked aspect of starting conversations. Taking too much or too little can be detrimental to one’s success as girls are considered sensitive when it comes to people occupying their personal space.
Since you talk to her for the first time and considered a stranger, put yourself in a comfortable distance about a couple of feet away from her. This way, you use your normal speaking voice at a comfortable volume while still able to see the person’s facial expression. [Read: How to hit on girls – 15 things that’ll make you successful]
#10 Use the right voice volume. Speak too loud and you give her the impression that you are either a bit deaf, too chatty, or a total idiot. Speak too soft and you give off a weak and unmanly vibe. Practice speaking in a well-modulated, conversational tone that sounds inviting for a longer chat.
#11 Language. When it comes to knowing how to talk to a girl for the first time, as you are aiming for a conversation, your use of language will be the most important aspect of the whole ordeal. Keeping your language neutral, friendly, and confident is the best way to good results.
#12 Use proper, polite language. This is the best type to go to when you’re trying to figure out how to talk to a girl for the first time. Why? Because it prompts them to respond in a similar manner. Being too friendly to an unfamiliar person or using overly familiar language makes your conversation awkward and short.
#13 Genuinely compliment her. You also add a delightful flair to your conversation by genuinely complimenting her on obviously noticeable aspects. Start with compliments towards her hair, makeup, dress, or personal appearance. We all know that girls appreciate a compliment towards their effort in making themselves look good, so this way, she’ll be more interested in the things you should say.
#14 Conversation starters: Ask her a question. Ask her for directions, ask her where she bought those discount donuts, ask her about the book she’s reading, or the music she’s listening to. Asking a question is a fool-proof way of starting a conversation. Not only does it merit a quick response, you have a quick topic to talk about. [Read: How to start a conversation with a girl – 25 lines to make sparks]
#15 Incorporate humor in the conversation. By making her laugh, you already endeared yourself to her. Girls love men with a good sense of humor more than physically good-looking guys. If you’re quite the comic, put your skills to good use.
If you can make a good joke about the current situation, go ahead. Just avoid dirty jokes since that’s not quite appropriate for two people who have just met. [Read: How to use humor to win her over]
#16 Exit the conversation fashionably. Just like how guests are not advised to overstay their welcome, the first conversation requires you to be sensitive about the moment when you are required to leave.
If the conversation begins to get marked by longer moments of silence, you should consider making a graceful exit because who knows, maybe she’s had enough. Leaving the conversation in a point where she’s most interested is a good way to leave room for future conversations.