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How to Talk Dirty to a Woman: Arouse Her without Creeping Her Out

how to talk dirty to a woman

Talking dirty isn’t just about throwing out a few bad words. Learn how to talk dirty to a woman the right way and blow her mind.

We all know that talking dirty is a good way to grease the panties off a girl, but are you certain that you’re doing it right? Knowing how to talk dirty to a woman is more than the usual “I’m gonna rip off those clothes and f*ck the lights out of you,” she might end up fleeing for sanctuary instead of you seducing her.

As you can see, talking dirty can be considered a fine art. And women like their dirty talk the way they like porn: slow, sexy, and with lots of foreplay. Talking dirty to turn her on is about narrating her fantasies to her in that low, bedroom voice. So time to ditch the aggressive and plain sex threats and learn dirty talking the right way.

How to talk dirty to a woman – Good and bad dirty talk

The term “dirty talk” entails that it is far from polite, but it doesn’t mean that it has to be crude and harsh to get the intended effect. Ideally, it should be well-balanced and the words carefully chosen to suit the mood and sexual taste of the recipient. As mentioned, going for aggressive and straightforward will not always work and may lead to an awkward and brief encounter.

Poor dirty talk. Akin to a movie line delivered poorly that makes watching it painful and embarrassing. What’s worse is that it might make you sound like a creep rather than a seducing Casanova. It’s not that the phrase is bad, but it is mostly dirty talk done out of character.

If watching a movie with bad acting makes you cringe, poorly delivered dirty talk can be imagined as something counter erotic. So please, if you think you’re not up for it, don’t even bother attempt doing it. [Read: 25 sex questions to ask a girl and leave her instantly wet]

Aggressive dirty talk.  We’re most familiar with this type and the one you would usually hear from porn. It may work on some and it may work once, but sticking to this type eventually makes it boring as it loses its sexy quality if overused. Its main weakness is that it tends to put off girls who are not fans of this type of dirty talk. [Read: 14 wild ways to have aggressive sex the right way]

Good dirty talk. This is the most effective type, yet it is also the one most difficult to pull off. In order to talk dirty with favorable effects, you need to take it slow, read the mood, and adjust your exchanges according to the way she reacts to your dirty talk. It’s that hard. We did mention that talking dirty is an art, didn’t we?

How to talk dirty to a woman – The basic guidelines

#1 Own your words. Say it like you mean it. Or better yet, say it like how you would say it. As mentioned, an attempt at talking dirty fails if done out of character.

If you’re going to ask her if she likes to get touched in someplace, say it confidently and convincingly in your best way possible. If sexually ravenous and not the usual naughty is your game, add that flavor to your dirty talk. Not only you would say it easily, but it would be consistent to your character. [Read: How to talk dirty in bed – Dirty talking examples to show you the way]

#2 Don’t overact. Adding unnecessary moans, groans, growls, and grunts can spoil the dirty talk prematurely. So keep it natural in its delivery. Add a little idiosyncratic sexy flair to it at some point, but doing that stuff at all times makes you sound like you’re only performing.

#3 Lay in some groundwork. Make her feel comfortable. Dirty talk doesn’t usually happen at the first line, the best and most enjoyable ones start with normal and innocent conversation. It won’t hurt to start by asking her how she is, what she’s wearing, or when was the last time she had sex.

Well, maybe not the last one, but the idea is not to come in the scene guns blazing. Remember, talking dirty is foreplay: you need to take it slow. [Read: 10 foreplay moves every guy needs to do to their ladies]

#4 Do some research. What does she like? What are her fantasies? Does she like it aggressive or gentle? These are the important questions you need to ask yourself in order to get information that structures  your naughty conversation.

So, how are you going to get these? Get creative. There are a lot of sources for what she likes: her social media profile, previous sexual encounters, the erotica she consumes, or you could ask her straight up.

#5 Start with questions. Starting dirty talk with a question is usually the best way to get it going smoothly, especially if you’re a beginner.

First, there is a sexy quality to asking a girl naughty questions. It shows her that you are interested in her naughtier side and feeds on her imagination as well. Second, asking questions is a good way to snatch tiny bits of information that will help you steer the direction of the conversation. [Read: 20 dirty questions to ask a girl and make her wet]

#6 Play into her fantasies. Once you’ve got sufficient information about her kinks and sexual tastes, it is time to use this information to weave a filthy narrative where the ending is that you’re both naked and wrapped around each other.

At this part, you need to muster a little bit of storytelling and direction in order to delve further into her dirtiest fantasies. Who knows, your sexy Q & A may reveal other dirty secrets that she’s keeping. [Read: 12 arousing sex fantasies to try in real life]

#7 Add other stimuli to dirty talk. Women are creatures of imagination, so if you want to know how to talk dirty to a woman the right way, keeping this in mind is the best way to turn her on into a raging sexual fire.

So what else can you do to make her imagination more vivid? Add sensory stimuli to your dirty talk. Since it’s your mouth doing all the talking, both your hands are free to grasp a vibrator, dildo, or a piece of silk cord to run through an unsuspecting part of her body as you whisper filthy stuff in her ear. Or, something that all girls fall for, punctuate your whispers with a playful nibble of her earlobes.

#8 Be mindful of her responses. Even the kinkiest of girls have a limit too. So try to draw a line first and then try if you can go further. If she hesitates to respond or responds negatively, then revert back to a safe zone where she’s more comfortable. It never hurts to apologize too. [Read: 10 secret pleasure zones to arouse any woman instantly]

#9 Where to dirty talk? Based on difficulty level, it is more easy to talk dirty via chat or text since you’ll have more time to think your words through before sending it. On the other hand, doing it in person is more challenging and requires you to be in character most of the time.

However, doing it face to face has the benefit of the immediate chance for things to escalate sexually. Simply said, it doesn’t matter. Choose wherever you’re most comfortable. [Read: 20 things you can do to get your woman totally in the mood]

#10 Whisper it near her ear. When talking dirty, nothing beats slamming it in the home court. Whispering it really soft and slow surely makes her hairs and nipples prickle with anticipation.

[Read: How to talk dirty to a girl and not turn her off]

Knowing how to talk dirty to a woman requires a lot of work just like any form of foreplay. It requires you to be gentle and not overly aggressive. It also requires a little bit of creativity. But most importantly, one must be sensitive to her fantasies and her desires.

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Paul Mangay
Paul Mangay
Paul Timothy or “Morty” (as he likes to call himself) is a writer-photographer based in Manila. After finishing a degree in Psychology he found himself swep...
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