When you really like a girl, it feels daunting to start those initial conversations with her. If you’ve had your eye on her for a while and have a serious crush going on, even the idea of talking to her makes your palms sweat and your mouth dry out. If you’re not sure how to start a conversation with a girl you like, follow these 25 steps to have her chatting up a storm.
The last thing you want is for her to see you as this gibbering wreck of a guy. You want to come across as cool, calm, and confident, and really impress her with your conversation.
But you are afraid that if you pluck up the courage to talk to her, you’ll only end up messing it up. Coming across as creepy, too nervous, or even overly compensating and making her think you’re super arrogant are all dangers when it comes to approaching a girl. If you are not fully prepared, you might miss your chance before you even really got one!
How to start a conversation with a girl
So, how do you prepare yourself for striking up a conversation with a girl you like? What are good opening lines? How should you come across? How can you build your confidence without seeming arrogant? And how, once started, do you keeping the conversation flowing?
These are all questions that naturally fly through every guy’s head as he gears himself up to approach that girl. Luckily, we have the answers for you! Read on to find 25 great ways to help you know how to start a conversation with a girl.
#1 Smile. As you approach the girl you like, make sure you smile. If you feel really nervous, smiling helps calm you down. Plus, you just look weird if you approach her all goggly-eyed and sweaty! A big smile makes you look friendly and approachable, so go with that! [Read: How to approach a girl you don’t know and impress her]
#2 Practice your opening line. However you decide to greet her, practice it out loud in front of the mirror a few times to make sure you have it down. If she doesn’t know you, simply introduce yourself. If you already know each other, just ask her how her day is going.
#3 Decide on your opening move. How you physically greet her is also important. Are you going for a handshake *bit formal*, a hug *strange if you don’t know her*, or a kiss on the cheeks *very French*!?
Don’t do something you are not comfortable with, and definitely don’t do something that will make her feel uncomfortable. Sometimes a friendly ‘hi’ and a grin is all you need.
#4 Have some topics. Before you approach her have some conversational topics in mind. Don’t just start a conversation empty-handed. If you already have several things you can talk to her about in your head, the conversation is more likely to flow. [Read: Drawing a blank? Try these 25 good conversation starters]
#5 Be casual. Try to stay as relaxed as you can *we know this is easier said than done!*. You don’t want to come across as needy, intense, or desperate. Keeping it casual suggests to her that you are laid back and comfortable in your own skin.
#6 Keep it light. Try to stick to topics that are light and friendly. If you ask her something too intense or personal in the first conversation, you are more likely to scare her off.
#7 Mention a common friend. If you have friends in common, that’s great! Use that as a conversation starter, “Hey, I think you know Mark—he’s a funny guy, right?”. You’ll probably find out you have lots of other friends in common too. [Read: What to say to a girl you like while talking to her]
#8 Talk about shared experiences. Are you at the same school, do you take the same bus, did you volunteer on a project together? If you know you’ve got something in common, talk about it. It’s safe, neutral ground, and it will be easy to keep the conversation going.
#9 Avoid cheesy pick up lines. It’s rare that a girl finds a cheesy pick up line charming. So avoid them at all costs and stick to being natural and normal.
#10 Ask her how she is doing. Simply asking her how she is doing shows that you are interested and care. Sometimes it really can be as simple as that. [Read: How to impress a girl – 15 atypical secrets you HAVE to know]
#11 Ask a question about a class or work. If you go to school or college together, this is a great starting point. You could ask her about some work you’ve been assigned, “How are you getting on with your English paper?”. Or, talk about an eccentric teacher or funny incident that happened at school.
#12 Talk about popular culture. Topics that are generally safe and keep the conversation light and easy are the best for that initial conversation with a girl.
Televisions shows, recent movies, books you’ve read, plays you’ve seen, sports, and music are all great topics. Find out about her likes and dislikes and see if you really are as compatible as you thought!
#13 Ask lots of questions. Asking lots of questions keeps the conversation flowing nicely. They also show you are interested in her. Just give her time to answer and the opportunity to ask you questions back. This tells you if she’s interested in you too. [Read: 35 really important questions to ask a girl you just met]
#14 Dare to be different. It’s okay to try and be a little unusual too. Asking her funny, interesting questions such as, “If you could only take three things with you on a desert island what would they be?”, or, “If you won the lottery what would you do with the money?” are fun conversation starters that help you get to know one another better.
#15 Compliment her. Of course, it’s important to remember you like the girl and so you don’t want to be friend zoned. Make sure you compliment her to let her know you are being flirtatious. [Read: 19 sweet compliments for girls that’ll make them go awww…]
#16 Be aware of your body language. You body language is also important. Stay open and relaxed, and try not to fold your arms, shrug, or frown!
#17 Be confident. Girls love a confident man. So, when you decide to approach her, make sure you are in a confident frame of mind. What have you got to lose, after all?
#18 Make eye contact. Make lots of eye contact with her to show you are interested. Know the difference between flirty eye contact and weird staring! [Read: 10 subtle and flirty eye contact moves that always work]
#19 Listen! When you are nervous, you often have lots of great questions and are so afraid of the conversation dying out that you forget to listen to the answers! Make sure you give her time to respond and listen to what she says, then ask her more about that.
#20 Tell a joke. Humor is a great way to impress a girl. So, if you are a funny guy, make sure you use it!
Things to avoid in starting a conversation with a girl
While there are lots of things you should do in a conversation with a girl, there are also some that you should try to avoid. For example:
#21 Don’t get too nervous. Nervousness might be endearing to some girls. However, if you are too nervous the conversation might dry up, or you might seem a bit weird. Hold your head up high, speak with clarity and relax—you’ve got this! [Read: Do girls like shy guys who don’t make a bold move?]
#22 Don’t be arrogant. Arrogance is particularly unattractive, so remember to keep yourself in check if you want to keep her interested.
#23 Don’t try to hard. Just be yourself. There is no point in doing anything other than that!
#24 Don’t ask yes or no questions. Too many yes or no questions and she feels like she is on a gameshow! [Read: 15 things men need to know to successfully hit on girls]
#25 Know when to end it! Don’t wait until you’ve exhausted every topic. End your conversation on a high, tell her it was nice talking to her and you hope to see her again. If you are feeling brave, get her number or ask her on a date!
[Read: How to talk to a girl you like *without being awkward*]
So, there you have it. The 25 top tips on how to start a conversation with a girl, now go forth and good luck!
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