I am just going to say it—women are not easy creatures to make amends with. And learning how to make up with your girlfriend means stepping lightly.
There is a reason the phrase “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” exists. If you are in the doghouse for either a minor indiscretion or a major one and are wondering how to make up with your girlfriend, it isn’t as hard as you think.
Women might seem like unpredictable creatures. But, hidden within our unpredictability is sheer predictability. Most women just want acknowledgment, remorse, and a little bit of suffering out of the guy who did her wrong. So, if you left your socks on the floor or you were late to dinner, the cure is pretty easy. If you take the right steps that really say “I’m sorry.”
#1 Don’t ignore her. Okay, guys, I am handing you the key to all relationships. If you think ignoring a woman’s “nagging” or her being upset gets you out of whatever you have done, surprise, that is the very worst thing to do.
If you did something to make her mad, whether you think it is warranted or not, DO NOT IGNORE HER. Like a two-year-old, the more you ignore her, the louder she becomes. And before you know it, she will be chasing you around the house screaming to be heard.
#2 Acknowledge her feelings. What I have found with most guys is that instead of just acknowledging their girlfriend’s feelings, saying sorry, and moving on, they instead spend a whole lot of time trying to convince their girlfriends that they aren’t right in feeling the way they do. Instead of just saying “I am sorry if I hurt your feelings,” guys just dismiss them. They tell their girlfriends that they are being ridiculous or wrong for feeling the way they do.
That is a recipe for a huge fight on your hands. If you want to know how to make up with your girlfriend and make the madness stop, simply say you are sorry she feels the way she does. It really doesn’t mean you are sorry for what you did. It just says you feel bad she is hurting. That is all that she wants to hear. [Read: 8 helpful ways to stop being a self-centered person]
#3 Give her a hug. Although when she is so pissed at you, it seems like she has smoke coming out her ears, if you stop to wrap your arms around her, you will be surprised at how quickly her anger melts away.
Now, I wouldn’t suggest this method if you cheated on her. You might land some serious knee to groin. If it was something simple, make it nonexistent by just showing concern through hugging her.
#4 A card or flowers does wonders. If you hurt your girlfriend’s feelings and you want to avoid the three days of ugly that ensues, head it up by sending her a card or flowers.
Flowers are like a sorry, only taken to a degree higher because we know that you put some effort into them. A card, simplistic, yes. But the gesture alone is mostly what a woman needs to get over her anger.
#5 Say you are sorry. Think super hard. You thought you said you were sorry, but did you actually say sorry? Many guys think other phrases like “I didn’t mean it” or “I didn’t do that” substitutes for the words “I am sorry.”
Women are much more verbal creatures. They actually need to hear the words coming from your mouth to acknowledge them. If you are sorry and want to end the fight, sometimes just saying it is enough to put the whole situation behind you. [Read: How to apologize to your girl when you know you messed up]
#6 Do something nice for her. Maybe it isn’t about flowers. Maybe she has been staring at an unmowed yard or dishes in the sink that she doesn’t want to deal with. If you are in a minor squabble about something, do something small and sweet for her to say, “I love you.”
When she sees your initiative and did something without asking, that likely makes her feel better, which makes her more apt to forgive you.
#7 Take her out. If you want to skip past her being angry at you, be charming and do something extraordinary. Send her a message at work to be ready when she gets home for a special night. Tell her to dress up and that you will pick her up at 7.
#8 Let her be. Have you have tried everything you know to get her to forgive you? And I mean it here, guys, everything. Sometimes you give her some time to cool down, regroup, and gather herself up enough to get past the anger. If she isn’t at a place right now where forgiveness is possible, all the begging and the pleading in the world won’t make her give in.
Wait it out a bit and watch for your opening. If you did something super egregious, you should accept that you won’t ever be able to get her back. But, sometimes people just need time to process the hurt and anger and find a way to move past it to reunion.
Women are pretty predictable creatures when it comes to both what makes us upset and what squashes our anger. If you aren’t getting through to her, then you just might have to wait it out. Try to find a time when some of the hurt and anger has dissipated.
Unfortunately, knowing how to make up with your girlfriend doesn’t always work. All you can do is ask for forgiveness and hope they are willing to let go, move on, and find a new happy medium with you.
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