Knowing how to hug a girl can be tricky, especially if you’re initiating the gesture. If you aren’t sure of the rules of hugging a girl, here’s your guide.
If you’re ignorant regarding the certain unspoken rules on hugging the opposite sex and want to know how to hug a girl, these tips can keep you from making a misunderstood move.
Just think of it like this: a big lumbering dude approaching a girl with arms wide open can be either seen as a sign of affection if done correctly, or misunderstood as a form of sexual harassment if done mindlessly. Therefore, it is advisable to know the proper ways to hug a girl before taking her into your arms. Unless you want your intended romantic gesture be interpreted as a creepy move.
How to hug a girl – The little details you must know
If you’re wondering how to hug a girl the right way, remember these tips to make sure the one you hug feels loved and not like a victim.
#1 Girls prefer to be the “hugger” instead of the “huggee.” While guys don’t really mind when they get a surprise hug from the opposite sex, ladies tend to be more conscious of their personal space and warier of intimate physical contact. [Read: 11 types of hugs a woman gives and what they really mean]
#2 Consider what type of relationship you have with the girl. Are you two close? If you are, how close are you? Like childhood friends for more than ten years? Are you romantically involved? Are you formerly romantically involved? Is she family? These are some of the questions you need to ask yourself before hugging her.
#3 Look for signs she wants to be hugged. A relaxed, open posture inviting you to close in is a good sign she’ll take your hug. However, if her body language seems closed and she puts distance between you, it tells you to back off and keep your hands off her.
#4 Is it really appropriate to give her a hug at that moment? Hugging is a form of intimate contact given as a sign of affection, friendliness, intimacy, or support. If the situation doesn’t require one, then maybe hold off for later. [Read: The man code: The 10 most important rules of a gentleman]
#5 Consent is a must. Hugging a girl requires 60% of a man’s effort: relax your body and take the hugging stance which is opening your arms as an invitation. The other 40% would be the girl accepting the gesture and moving in close to you.
Real life is not like Korean or Japanese drama where you pull her as she moves away from you, hugging her tight as she breaks down into your hug in tears. Doing that might result in a slap or an uncomfortable struggle to run away from you.
#6 Play it safe if you’re not sure. If you’re just not sure if the girl is ready for a hug, try this move. As you say goodbye, *slightly* lean your shoulders towards her as you move in towards her and bring your hand out from the side of your waist, like you’re going in for a wide handshake. This move appears casual, but it’s cheeky and a smart thing to do, because she won’t be sure if you’re going in for a handshake or a hug. And just leave it up to her to take that decision.
If she moves in for a hug, hug her. And if she stretches out her hand, shake her hand!
#7 Always be gentle. Don’t hug a girl like you would hug an old college bro. Keep those rough manly hugs where they belong.
#8 Mind where you put your hands. Depending on the nature of your relationship with the girl, always keep your hands in a woman’s neutral places. A comforting pat on the back or a gentle rub on the shoulder to comfort a crying girl would be appropriate but beyond the borders of her lower back calls for a slap. [Read: 23 hacks to be a lot more attractive to women instantly]
#9 Mind your hygiene. Hugging a girl after you’ve done your rounds in the gym would be a turn off even if the said girl is head over heels attracted to you. At the least, make sure you shower before giving the ladies a hug, or give her a fair warning that you’re too dirty for a hug!
#10 Mind how long your hug lasts. As a rule, long hugs are for people who are close and have a more intimate relationship with you. Short friendly hugs are for more casual settings. Giving a long hug to a girl whom you’ve just met can be perceived as awkward and creepy.
When it comes to knowing how to hug a girl, let her control the duration of the hug if you’re not sure if you’re lingering. As soon as you feel her arms lift off your back, do the same.
Types of hugs for every girl and every occasion
**Friendly hugs for friends, family, acquaintances you want to be close with or even strangers you’ve shared a moment with. These are the most harmless and casual of hugs.
#1 One-arm sling. When it comes to knowing how to hug a girl, you should remember that this is the least intimate of hugs where the hugger wraps one arm over the receiver’s arm or shoulder and is done with a slight press of both your bodies. [Read: 20 types of physical touches and what each touch means]
#2 The casual greeting hug. The casual hug is done using only one arm where each places their hugging arm over the shoulder and pressing your upper torso together in a quick movement. There’s some distance between huggers from mid-torso downwards. This hug is done quickly.
#3 The side hug. This is a hug where the receiver is not facing the hugger. The hugger wraps both arms from the receiver’s side just like a bear hug. As such, the receiver cannot hug back.
#4 Comfort hug. Just like in the movies, this is a type of hug you give to those who need comfort or a shoulder to cry on. The hugger wraps one hand on the back of the receiver’s head while the other hand is over her back. The receiver faces the hugger’s chest and wraps both arms over the hugger’s back. There, there. [Read: When a woman is crying: The gentleman’s dos and don’ts]
**Intimate hugs for people who have a special meaning to you. As the name implies, these are more intimate and involves more body contact. Used for your special someone, your lover, or your spouse.
#5 Full contact hug. Similar to purpose as a comfort hug, but with both bodies pressed tightly, and slightly daring hand positions. The hugger wraps one arm over the receiver’s neck or upper back while the other hand is wrapped on the lower back. The receiver does the same creating a mirror image of the hugger. Heads are placed over the other person’s shoulders.
#6 Slow dance hug. Just like how you would hold a girl on your prom night dance, this type of hug is romantic and kind of sweet in a cute way. Girl wraps her arms around the guy’s neck while the guy places hands around her waist. This hug is perfect if you’re closing in for a kiss, or just playing some music and dancing while you talk face to face. [Read: How to touch a girl on a date and make her desire you]
#7 Hug from behind. Commonly used for surprise hugs, the guy sneaks from behind and wraps both arms over the girl’s waist. The hugger then presses their bodies close together, and you may add a little neck nuzzling or ear nibbling for your pleasure.
#8 The make out hug. This is a type of a full body hug where the girl wraps her arms around the guy’s neck and her legs wrapped around his waist. This requires strength since the guy is actually carrying the girl’s whole weight. From what it looks like, you kind of have an idea what this hug is for.
A hug is one of the most intimate physical gestures you give to a girl as a sign of affection. And when you know how to hug a girl the way she wants to be hugged, it has the power to comfort, cheer, and express your affections in the warmest way possible.
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Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul aka Morty is a keyboard-pounding cubicle-dweller based in Manila where he occasionally moonlights as a writer for anyone in need of his mediocre word-strin...