You think you have game? As a woman, I can tell you there are some key things for guys to know how to have game and be more successful with the ladies.
No one said being a guy was easy. In fact, I feel in some ways it’s harder for you. It’s expected that you make the first move, so understanding how to have game matters.
Basically, all the work is in your hands. Plus, building the chemistry between you and a woman isn’t that easy to do. You’re trying to be funny without being offensive. You want her to see that you’re a nice guy, but you also read that girls don’t like nice guys. It’s all a balancing act.
How to have game with the ladies
Now, you don’t need her to fall in love with you, but you do want to make it through the first fifteen minutes without her anxiously waving her friends over to come save her. I get it, man. This is where you do some personal research and reflection. Figure out what you do wrong and right. Your success rate is a pretty decent indicator.
Take some of these tips I’m going to give you and try to incorporate them into your interactions with women, then see if anything changes. Learning how to have game is in you, you just need to bring it out.
#1 You’re the shit. If you don’t think you’re the best, well, this isn’t going to work. This is what makes your game weak in comparison to the guy that’s rolling in numbers. He believes he’s the best of the best and that’s why he gets the girls. It’s that simple. It’s time for you to look in the mirror and see yourself in the right light. [Read: 10 eye contact flirting moves that always work]
#2 Who cares about rejection. This is another reason why your game lacks. You fear rejection. Honestly, who doesn’t? I’ve been rejected left, right and center, yet, I’m still trying. I’m still going out there and talking to guys. You cannot let rejection stop you or else you won’t win any girls. Rejection is going to happen, and it literally happens to everyone. [Read: How to overcome the fear of rejection while approaching women]
#3 Don’t fake your reactions. Listen, I’ve seen a lot of men laugh at horrible jokes or pretend they understand something when they want to get into a girl’s pants. And I understand you want to sleep with her so you don’t want to cause any problems. But listen, it’s crap.
If she makes a joke and it isn’t funny, don’t start fake laughing. You don’t need to give her approval for a bad joke, nor do you need to pat her ego. Plus, she knows you fake laugh which is even worse. Be genuine with your emotions.
#4 Be chill. When I see a man talking to me like he just drank three cups of coffee, let me tell ya, I back right off. It’s too much. You can be excited, that’s fine, but don’t be in her face. So, take a breath and lean back. When you’re nervous it’s normal to talk faster, but show her you’re not anxious around her. So, talk slow. You remember James Bond? He was a slow talker for a reason.
#5 Eliminate social anxiety. You’re nervous because you talk to a girl you like, like I said, it’s completely normal. But, your goal is to eliminate the obvious signs that you’re nervous as hell because she spots it a mile away. So, if you want to know how to have game, take your hands out of your pockets, maintain eye contact, put your phone away, and don’t constantly touch yourself. [Read: 16 effortless ways you can conquer your approach anxiety]
#6 Eye contact is key. Your eye contact is a huge indicator if you’re into her or not. In addition, it’s also how women gauge if you’re nervous or not. Which isn’t a huge deal, however, it does show us your confidence level.
You don’t have to hold eye contact like a creepy man, but you want to be able to look at her in the eyes when she talks. Test it out by holding eye contact until she looks away. You’ll figure out how much eye contact is enough.
#7 Don’t think you need to constantly talk. This is important as many people, when nervous, feel the need to talk more. You don’t need to do this. To be honest, most of the things that come out of your mouth are useless at the end of the day and fill the silences. But, those silences aren’t necessarily a bad thing. So, if you want to say something just to say it, it’s better not to.
#8 Don’t ask yes or no questions. If you’re nervous, the worst thing you do is ask her yes or no questions. Where can a conversation possibly go when she only answers yes or no? Instead, keep the questions open-ended so that she must answer them with either a story or a couple sentences. It helps you calm down while she’s talking away. [Read: 35 brilliant conversation questions that work like a charm]
#9 Don’t be so eager to buy her a drink. Maybe I’m biased, but from my experience, when I was younger I would accept a drink from almost anyone regardless if I liked them or not. As I got older, I stopped doing that. However, some women didn’t. You don’t need to buy her a drink to make her interested in you. Wait a half an hour or hour into the conversation before offering her a drink.
#10 You don’t have to ask her for permission. Okay, you do when it comes to sexual consent. Then, yes, absolutely, you must ask her permission. But I’m not talking about that. If you want to dance with her, say to her, “Let’s go dance” and take her hand, leading her to the dance floor. You can do things like this without asking her “Do you want to dance?” It’s just not as much of a turn on when a guy asks you if you want to dance, for example. [Read: How to seduce a girl – 14 moves to make her sexually desire you]
#11 Don’t lean in. I know, you may think this is a weird one, but it’s an important one. When a guy leans in, especially right in the beginning of the conversation, it shows this over-eagerness which women don’t want to necessarily see right away. Remember this is all a game you play with her. She wants to be chased and you want to chase her. Don’t give her what she wants right away.
#12 Show your best qualities. If you want to know how to have game the right way, during the conversation, show off your best qualities. You don’t need to sit there and list off all the things you think are great about yourself. Instead, use some of your life experiences to show her what kind of guy you are. The worst thing you do is literally to tell her you’re a funny guy. [Read: 15 qualities all girls want to see in a guy]
#13 Be classy. Having game doesn’t mean you’re a player. Sure, it means you get women but you’re not doing it by calling women “bitches” and treating them like shit. No, you’re a classy guy. You have manners and respect for the woman you sit across talking to because you also chose her.
#14 Dominance is hot. Women want a man. That, at the end of the day, is what all women are looking for. They want a man. For example, if you’re in a group talking, do not let another person interrupt while you’re speaking. Now, you don’t need to yell at them or raise your voice but you need to keep talking, showing that you’re not done yet. [Read: How to be a man the way he really should be]
#15 Don’t breathe like you just ran a race. I know you like her. I know the feeling but you need to chill. You may have taken your hands out of your pockets and stopped fiddling with your phone, but you breathe like you just ran a 10k. Instead, take a couple long and slow breaths, this helps drop your heart rate, calming you down.