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How to Get a Girl to Ask You Out: 13 Steps to Tease Her into It

how to get a girl to ask you out

Maybe you’d like to know how to get a girl to ask you out. You know, small talk, asking for her number—it’s quite a process. Why not let her take the lead?

It doesn’t really matter where you live in the world, we still have the notion that men should be the ones to make the first move. And for some, it’s wearing to always have to do the asking. Which means you probably wonder how to get a girl to ask you out instead.

Of course, there are women who don’t have a problem taking the lead and making a move. Actually, we tend to be the ones who set up the situations for you guys to ask us out. Sorry, you probably thought that you planned to stand next to her at the concert. No, no, no—she saw you ten minutes ago and picked the perfect spot for you to approach her. See? We’re pretty clever. [Read: 18 hints a girl gives away if she wants you to make a move on her]

How to get a girl to ask you out

After a while, it becomes tiring. I mean, you approach a woman, talk to her, ask her out, and maybe she says yes. There’s a lot of pressure on guys to make these first steps. But, we live in the 21st century! Women are working, making their own money, owning their own things, so, why can’t they make the first move?

Of course, it’s a new concept, so many women are hesitant. However, you can help them be the ones who make the first move. Put the power in her hands by learning how to get a girl to ask you out instead.

#1 Don’t see yourself as a weak man. We all have pride and ego, but allowing a girl to ask you out isn’t going to make you appear like a weak man. So, don’t be so hot-headed when it comes to this. Let her ask you out. Like I said before, we’re living in the 21st century. It’s all about equality, and this is just a part of it. [Read: How to make a girl fall for you without even asking her out]

#2 Don’t expect all girls to do this. You may be a hot guy, but that doesn’t mean every girl you encounter will ask you out. Lower your expectations when it comes to this. Some women are shy, traditional, or scared of rejection, so they’re not going to jump to ask you out. So, try to see what type of woman she is, that way you figure out the next move. [Read: How to seduce her like a gentleman]

#3 Be open. You don’t have to tell her your life story, but you want to be open and friendly. If she’s going to ask you out, she needs to feel comfortable and sense a connection between you two. If you’re grumpy and talking to her with your arms crossed, it’s not going to happen. Having a smile on your face allows her the opportunity to ask you out.

#4 Flirt. Show her that you’re attracted to her if she’s going to ask you out. If you don’t show any sexual attraction through flirting, then we think that you’re not interested in us that way. Hence, we won’t make a move. So, don’t be shy, be flirtatious. She’ll feel comfortable and more secure in making a move. [Read: How to make a girl want you and desire you sexually]

#5 Leave small hints. You don’t need to ask her out, but you need to show her your interest. So, you should leave her small hints. If she brings up a movie coming out, you can say, “Oh, I really want to see that one.” This gives her the chance to say, “We should see it together!” Boom. Within five seconds, you just got her to ask you out on a date.

#6 Do make her chase for it. Listen, at the end of the day, the dating world is a game. Both men and women like to chase and hunt. Yes, women like men who are aggressive but only to a point, then it starts to feel inauthentic which is what doesn’t get you the date. You can tease her playfully and make her chase you a little bit. [Read: How to tease a girl over text and get her to flirt back with you]

#7 Push-pull technique. It’s a technique you use in order for her to chase you. Now, I hate to say it, but it does work, at least it does on me. What you need to do is compliment a woman or flirt with her, showing her your interest. Then, you pull away and act a little more reserved and cold. This sounds horrible, but if done right, it’s effective. Haven’t you seen any chick flick? Being somewhat emotionally distant always works. [Read: How to play hard to get with a girl and do it just right]

#8 Be an active listener. I cannot tell you the number of men who just go on and on and on about themselves. Shut up! Breathe and lean back, you’re choking us with your never-ending stories.

If you want her to relax, allow her the opportunity to talk. If not, she feels you don’t really care about her, but just interested in making conversation so that you can get into her pants. Plus, you allow the chemistry to naturally develop.

#9 Don’t be too nice. She’s not going to ask you out if you’re the nice guy, I hate to say it. Okay, you don’t have to be an asshole, but don’t let her walk all over you. You still need to show your masculinity and confidence when you talk to her. Be nice, be open, but don’t be afraid to show your witty humor or tease her. Ignite the sexual attraction in her. [Read: The nice guy syndrome and 16 reasons why girls find them boring]

#10 If you’re not interested in her, don’t lead her on. Women are terrified of rejection. Really, we are. We’re not used to being rejected because men are usually the ones who make the first move. But, if you want more women to be the ones asking men out, you’ll need to give them a safe space to do so. Don’t lead her on and then drop her after you flirted up a storm. She’s never going to ask someone out again. You traumatized her.

#11 Don’t forget nonverbal communication. Sure, you may be talking up a storm with her, but your arms are crossed. That doesn’t look inviting. When talking to her, smile, wink, touch her hand or arm—these are all nonverbal cues of your interest in her. You know the saying, actions speak louder than words. This is exactly what I’m talking about.

#12 You’re not going to get it right the first time. You’re used to asking women out, so when you try this out the first time, it’s going to feel strange. That’s okay though. Don’t put so much pressure or thought into it. If you follow these guidelines, you’ll do fine. You may not get it the first time, but that’s what practice is for, right? [Read: How to make a girl jealous and leave her begging for your attention]

#13 Give her the chance to ask you out. It depends on where you are, but there may be a moment where she has the opportunity to ask you out. Give her that moment. It takes a couple seconds but don’t rush past it. Maybe you share a moment of eye contact or a huge goodbye. Whatever it is, give her some time. Now, if she doesn’t do anything within a couple seconds, ask her out.

[Read: 18 secrets to impress any girl no matter who she is]

So, you have the tools for how to get a girl to ask you out. Now you just need to use them. Come on, give it a try. You’ll notice that it’s much easier to be on the other side of the coin.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic
A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...
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