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How to Get a Girl Back: 13 Things to Try When You Screwed Up

how yo get a girl back

If she left you, there’s probably a reason why. It ain’t gonna be easy, but if you want to know how to get a girl back, there are a couple things to try.

So, you now realize you screwed up. How come guys always realize these things when it’s too late? Okay, I’m not saying it’s too late, but you definitely took your time. At this point, your ex may have started to date other people or become cold towards you. And understanding how to get a girl back in these instances requires work on your part, but it may not be impossible.

At one time, you thought you had it in the bag, but you took too long. Don’t be mad at her, what else did you expect her to do, wait? You should know that this is the first thing we’re taught: don’t wait for him.  [Read: The 8 fastest ways to mend fences with your girlfriend]

How to get a girl back and reignite the flame

See, now, you try to warm up the flame. Let me be clear, you probably killed the flame, but somewhere in the pile of ash is a little spark. That’s what you’re trying to ignite.

Now, I don’t know what happened, maybe you cheated on her, broke up with her prematurely, or got scared, so, depending on what happened, this may or may not work. But, it’s worth the effort, right? The worst thing that could happen is nothing.

You let her go, so now you have to work to get her back.

#1 Be sure that you want this. So many people think they want their ex back, put in all the effort to get them back only to realize they didn’t want that person to begin with. Listen, before you go trying to figure how to get a girl back, you need to put your ego and loneliness aside and really think about this. Do you want to really be with this person? Because if you’re not sure, you’re going to do more damage than good. [Read: When it’s best to stop loving someone and move on]

#2 Invest the time. Getting them back isn’t going to be as easy as taking them to a movie or buying them some chocolates. You must invest the time into them. Now, are you worthy of being with them? If you don’t think so, then put the time into working on yourself. You can’t get someone back if you don’t think you’re on their level. [Read: 16 signs your ex still wants you back in her life]

#3 Be genuine. Don’t buy them flowers if you don’t actually want to. Listen, she’s going to know that you’re trying to get her back, so whatever you do, in the back of her head, you’re doing this only because you want her. Now, of course, you want her, but don’t be doing things just to have her. If you do something nice for her, do it because you actually want to make her happy.

#4 Respect their personal life. This is going to be hard, but you need to do this. If they’re with someone else, leave them alone. Don’t be that guy getting between her and her new relationship. If they end up breaking up, try to make a move, but don’t do anything if she’s already with someone else. That guy never gets the girl.

#5 Start back to the basics. You screwed up, so if you think you’re going to get laid after buying her flowers, you’re delusional. Start back from the start—why? Because you don’t deserve anything more than that.

Honestly, you need to rebuild the relationship between you two. If you want her back and you want the relationship to last, rebuild the friendship. [Read: Break up to make up: 10 ways to give love a second chance]

#6 Don’t suffocate her. You want her back, I get it. This means you’re probably going to be trying extra hard to get her attention and what not. But this also means you’re going to be annoying. Don’t bombard her with texts and phone calls, just take it easy there. Give her some space, she needs time to think about what’s happening between you and her.

#7 Know why the relationship ended. If you don’t know why the relationship ended, you’re probably not going to get her back. So before you make any big moves when it comes to knowing how to get a girl back, understand what happened and what role you played in the breakup.

Maybe she broke up with you because she was bored or you flirted with other women. Know the reason because it’s going to come up in conversation, and it’s the key to whether or not she takes you back.

#8 See her in person. Rebuild the connection and relationship lost after the breakup. Sure, you can text or talk on the phone but the best way to rebuild is in person. Hang out with her, go for a coffee, whatever it is, just make sure you see each other face to face.

#9 Go slow with the emotions. You may really like her, but don’t let her see that right away. You don’t have to be cold in the beginning, but don’t throw all your emotions out at her right away. If you were degrading or uninterested in the relationship, don’t flip and go a complete 180. This looks extremely fake and forced. You know you should straighten up, but do it gradually. [Read: Why slow and steady is the only way to go when getting back together with your ex]

#10 Talk to her honestly. They’ll be a moment where you two talk about the relationship and what happened. Take your chance to be honest with her. Trust me, if you bullshit her in this moment, you won’t get her back. Be vulnerable and truthful with your emotions, you want her back, remember?

#11 You don’t have to make her jealous. This is something really optional. You can try to make her jealous if you want, but, in my personal opinion, there’s no point. I mean, if she has genuine feelings for you, you don’t have to try to make her jealous. Her feelings for you didn’t disappear, they’re right there. If your relationship ended because she was jealous then I wouldn’t try this.

#12 Apologize. If you did something to contribute to the breakup, apologize. You both probably did things that affected the relationship, and it’s time you admitted those faults to each other. Now, she may or may not admit her faults, but, that’s okay. This is about you cleansing yourself from everything that happened. [Read: How to apologize to a girl when you know you messed up]

#13 Relax. You want her back, I know. But don’t get stressed out about it. Just relax. If you tense up and stress out, she notices and the whole situation comes out forced. You don’t want that, you want it to run smoothly and actually last.

[Read: 14 steps to win back your ex-girlfriend]

Now, I’ve given you the tools, but understanding how to get a girl back is up to you. It’s time you took what I told you and put it to some good use. Come on, man, you can do this.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic
A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...
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