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How to Avoid the Friend Zone and Make Her Desire You

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Afraid you’ll end up being just a friend with the girl you like? Use these tips on how to avoid the friend zone if you want to get into her pants. By Colin Andrews

friend zone

The friend zone is a tricky place to fall in.

You may be trying hard to get close to a girl, close enough to tell her that you like her, but one fine day she turns around and tells you that you’re such a great friend, or worse, you’re just like a brother to her.

Ever been there?

I hope you haven’t.

Guys find themselves falling into the friend zone almost all the time.

It’s frustrating and demeaning, and at times, inevitable.

You may get really close to a girl with all the hopes of getting into her pants, but somewhere along the way, you may have taken a few detours that led you right into the friend zone.

[Read: How to tell a girl you love her without losing her]

What is a friend zone?

A friend zone is a happy place for a girl. It’s a place where she and a guy can sit together and talk about anything and get real friendly with each other.

For a guy, a friend zone is the worst place to be in, especially when he likes the girl who behaves like a friend.

In a friend zone, the two involved friends of the opposite sex are just friends and nothing more. They project no sexual interest towards each other and behave in a completely platonic manner.

But can any guy ever be friends with a girl he finds sexually attractive? Or course not. He can try to be a friend with the hope of getting an occasional cuddle or a warm boob pressing hug now and then, but he’s always going to be just be a friend while she dates every other guy in the yearbook. [Read: 25 things about a guy that sexually turns on a girl]

How do guys end up falling into the friend zone?

A guy falls into a friend zone for very obvious reasons. He behaves like a friend. And he never lets the girl know that he has more than friendly intentions on his mind.

And soon enough, the girl loses all realization of the fact that this guy has a package down there. And he just becomes another sexless thing she hangs out with all the time as a platonic friend.

So why do some guys end up as friends instead of boyfriends or sex buddies? Here’s why.

#1 They get too close. Getting too close to a girl on platonic grounds will never help you. You may assume that it’s the easiest way to get a girl to know you better. She’ll definitely get to know you better, but only as a friend.

#2 No sexual chemistry. If a guy likes a girl, he has to make it subtly obvious that he’s sexually interested in her. If a guy behaves like a pushover and a doormat, no girl will feel even a tingle of sexual chemistry.

#3 The girl’s not attracted to the guy. This sucks, but this is the most common scenario. The guy’s probably creepy, annoying or just not good enough to be her boyfriend. [Read: 10 biggest dating turn offs for girls]

#4 The guy thinks she’s too good for him. At times, a guy may genuinely believe that the girl he likes is way too good for him. And instead of hitting on her, he secretly lusts for her, but gives up on pursuing her. Could you ever live with yourself by just being the friend of a sexy girl who dates every other guy but you?

#5 He plays the true friend card. It works in the movies all the time. The girl has a best friend who’s always there for her. She goes ahead and dates every single guy in the world, and finally, at the end of the movie she sees her true love in the form of her best friend. How touching! And that’s why they call it the movies. In real life, you can’t become a girl’s boyfriend just by behaving like a best friend.

How to avoid getting into the friend zone

It’s really easy to avoid the friend zone. All you need to do is drop a few hints now and then to let her know that you’re really into her. Use these easy tips to get the message across and get her to desire you while you’re at it.

#1 Be a friend without behaving like her other friends. Don’t talk nonsense for hours or spend time talking about her problems in life. Talk about places she visits, movies she’s watched, and her plans for the weekend. Talk date talk and she’ll sense the chemistry in the air. [Read: Things to date talk about with a girl]

#2 Try to talk to her when she’s alone. If her other friends are around, talk to her if you must or just avoid her. You can’t really hit on a girl when she’s surrounded by a bevy of friends.

But when you find her alone, make sure you turn on your charm and impress her. See her alone? Chat her up. And if one of her friends come by, grumble audibly in a funny manner and say something like “just when I thought I was going to get some alone time with you, this guy pops up out of nowhere!” and just laugh. She’ll be confused and wonder if you’re being serious or just joking. [Read: Clever ways to charm a girl and make her like you]

But she’ll get the hint that you like spending time with her alone. Make it obvious that you like spending time with her in whatever way possible, but don’t ask her out or tell her you like her just yet.

#3 Compliment her when she deserves it. Flatter her pants off. If she looks good, tell her she looks hot. If you see a hint of cleavage and she catches you staring, just laugh, apologize and tell it you couldn’t resist it. Add a few funny sexual remarks and you’ll never get into the friend zone. [Read: How to compliment a girl sexually and make her blush]

#4 Touch her and treat her like your girlfriend. But do it respectfully though. Clasp her hand while crossing the street and open doors for her when it’s just the both of you. Make her feel like a queen, and she’ll love the attention. But when her friends are around, don’t give her any preferential treatment. Let her realize that you’re special to her only when it’s just the two of you.

#5 Make her feel special and exclusive. Gift her something small and personal, but tell her to keep it a secret. When you create secrets, you build sexual chemistry and suspense which leads to romance. [Read: 10 ways to build sexual tension with a girl you like]

#6 Ask her out and change the topic. When you’re talking to her for a while, ask her out for lunch or coffee. See how she responds. But within a second, change the topic. Don’t wait for her to answer. It’ll seem like a joke, but it’ll still make her wonder if you really do want to date her. Don’t make things awkward by waiting a while before saying something else. Keep it simple, keep it funny and yet reveal all the dirty thoughts in your mind, and change the topic immediately.

[Read: How to text a friend at the right time and make her fall for you]

Wondering how to avoid the friend zone? Just understand these pointers and use these tips. You’ll never fall into the friend zone with any girl ever again!


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Have your say!
  • pierce
    October 2, 2013 | Permalink |

    And what to do if i’am already in the friend zone for along time?
    in my case, i meet a girl when i was in highschool and we become friends. After a year i began to have a crush on her, but i was to proud and shy to tell her. 3 4 years have pass, and we are still friends, but i still have a special feeling for her. So after this many years i want to take a shot and i dont want this girl to become the one who had escaped, but in dont no how to start.

    ps. in that period of time, me and her had affairs with other people.

  • Emmy Brainy..
    November 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    Seriously I won’t lie to my self…but am in the friends zone with a girl I really do find attractive…we don’t see each other that frequently….
    what should I do.?..please send your answers to my email please..thanks

  • Marie Love
    November 18, 2013 | Permalink |

    No offense guys, but as a girl myself, I can tell you that some girls just won’t ever want you in their pants. It doesn’t matter what you do. Personally if a guy was doing some of these things to me, I would think they were stupid and not talk to them. I think respect is sexy. I was friends with this guy who told me he liked me and I asked him to give me some time. We became very close and I’m proud to say that he is my best friend. The way he respected my wishes and was happy to get to know me as a person is what made me fall in love with him. I think he’s the hottest, nicest guy and I really do want him a lot! I wouldn’t have looked twice though if he would’ve tried to force something to escape the friend zone.

  • Help me
    December 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    I have been in the friendzone for a long time now. Actually I was a good friend of her’s for a long time and I did not think of her as a girlfriend before. But still I used to think about her happiness and care for her a lot before. Just recently I figured that I love her. But the very sad thing is that the girl that I have a crush on has found a boyfriend. We have been like best friends for a long time. But we don’t quite get to meet up so often after we graduated. I have helped her get along with her boyfriend a lot of times but it was just for her happiness. I feel a bit sad when she pops out conversations about him at times and I sometimes feel pretty jealous of that guy when I miss her. Because I think that she would only miss that boyfriend of hers. Is there anyway I can get her to like me as a boyfriend rather than “just a friend” and let go of that guy. I think that it is possible cause I don’t think that he has better looks than mine. :-

  • matt vaughan
    December 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    ive got a friend a yr above me and weve been stuck in the friend zone for 2 months, i asked her out about a month ago but she said no, is it possible to change her thoughts around?

  • An Indian
    January 2, 2014 | Permalink |

    I am a kind cute caring and all the emotional things a girl wants to be in a guy as seen in movies but as in my case everytime i gets close to a girl …. she calls me her best friend bff or you can better say friendzoned and i am 19 and i hadn`t even kissed a girl till today ….. I seems to have lost all hopes of getting a gf .Even my friends make fun u can`t get a girl u will only get a girl in an arranged marriage and i am just pissed off by my situation .. Why can`t they see …..

  • bleh
    February 10, 2014 | Permalink |

    Its easy just treat her differently.

  • Adrian
    March 24, 2014 | Permalink |

    For the first section “#4 The guy thinks she’s too good for him” – this is unfortunately always the case for me, the girl normally is to good for me, I don’t know why I always feel attracted to a girl I know I can never have, dammit I’m so stupid! That second part always happens to me – the girl dates every other guy except me.

  • jason rament
    August 27, 2014 | Permalink |

    I got stuck into the friend zone after just one day of being her boyfriend. what a plonker i feel like an idiot, i tell her how hot i think she is in my eyes even though she has had many ex’s and children. i just wanted to be more like sex buddies but nope im friend zoned it makes me sick. Women act so complicated when they are no better than us. I now think how lucky i’ve been in escaping the endless please can i haves and could you help me do this 20 times every day and she gave me no care in her world not even how was your day. ? Can i change her just so i don’t have to have her as this friend i could handle seeing her as a sex partner open relationship she says she think im hot, where am i going wrong, is she using me to make her x jealous

  • Dunsen
    August 29, 2014 | Permalink |

    As I keep saying,you need to do just two things : BE AS ATTRACTIVE AS YOU CAN AND FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT !

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