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How to Get Over a Girl Who Doesn’t Like You Back

how to get over a girl who doesn't like you back

Do you love a girl who doesn’t like you? It sucks but it’s not the end of the world. Find out how to get over a girl and become a better guy in no time.

They say that love is beautiful and perfect.

But when you’re in love with a girl who just doesn’t seem to be interested in you, love can feel like the worst experience ever.

It’s so frustrating, isn’t it?

I mean, you’re such a great guy and yet she’s interested in other guys who don’t seem even half as good as you!

Ever been there?

Well, I have.

I’ve been there plenty of times and I’ve learnt a few important lessons on that path too.

[Read: An attractive girl’s confession – Why are good looking girls mean?]

How to get over a girl who doesn’t like you

During my college years, I’ve been in love with quite a few girls.

And every now and then, a girl that I liked would speak nicely to me, get friendly with me and then crush my heart when I ask her to go out with me.

I mean, these girls did say I was a nice guy.

They would even compliment me all the time. [Read: What girls actually think about shy guys]

But almost always, when I did work up the courage to ask a girl out on a date, they would appear shocked or embarrassed and tell me that they never looked at me *that way*. Gosh, I hated that feeling.

And once the proposal ends, the awkwardness begins. Things were never the same again with the girls I asked out. A few girls I liked stayed as distant friends, while other girls started avoiding me.

The girls I liked moved on, and I was the one stuck with a heartbreak that I had to deal with. It was so traumatic at times, because I never really got to know what was wrong with me or what was better with the other guys.

[Read: How to let go of someone you love a lot by hating them]

Where I went wrong in my pursuit of a girlfriend

As guys, all of us have epic egos. We think we’re all perfect definitions of the male species. But more often than not, many of us are flawed. So you think you’re a great guy. But does the world feel the same about you?

Would you consider yourself as one of the *coolest guys on the block*, be it in college or in office? Does everyone else look up at you and your friends as the most popular guys around? When I was in college, I always thought my friends and I were all that, but now when I look back at my college photos, I can see that I was a nice guy, but I was not as popular or good looking as I assumed I was.

Sometimes, all of us need a reality check. If a girl you’ve fallen for likes another guy, don’t try convincing yourself that the world sucks because you’re a better guy. Try to see the other guy’s good side and see in what ways he’s better than you. [Read: How to become a much better guy by using the right role models]

Sometimes we just have no choice

In a completely different scenario, sometimes you just have no say if a girl doesn’t like you. There was this girl I liked a lot and she liked me too. We were friends, and borderline sex buddies. We used to have phone sex now and then, and even make out after a movie or a friendly date, but we weren’t having sex yet. This continued for a few months and I started falling madly in love with her. At about the same time, she met another guy whom she started getting close to. [Read: How to have sex with a friend]

She would talk to him all the time and even make out with him. She’s single and she had every right to do whatever she pleased. But that made me jealous, and I wanted her to be all mine. I started telling her that I loved her and wanted to be with her in a more-than-just-friends way. But the more I started pursuing her, the further away she drifted from me. And one fine day, she told me that she wanted to end our relationship because she had started dating this other guy.

Apparently, she liked me a lot, but I just wasn’t the kind of guy she wanted to be in a relationship with. I was angry, bitter and sad. But to be fair to this girl, I wasn’t dating her and she had the choice to date anyone she liked. There was nothing I could do but move on. [Read: 10 ways to make any girl want you and think of you sexually]

6 lessons to remember in getting over a girl

In my failed romances and experiences with getting dumped by girls I hadn’t even dated, here are a few things I’ve learnt.

#1 A nice guy isn’t always a desirable guy. If she tells you you’re a nice guy, or that she loves spending time with you, it still doesn’t mean she wants to date you or sleep with you. [Read: How to avoid the friend zone and make her desire you]

#2 If a girl flirts with you, it definitely doesn’t mean she loves you. She may be attracted to you, but perhaps she has other reasons to avoid dating you.

#3 We can all change our minds. One of the girls I liked was a good friend of mine. She would even say that she loved me. I was intensely attracted to her, but we weren’t dating yet. To the rest of the world, we were friends. But during our conversations late into the light, we spoke like lovers.

And just like that, one fine day, she just started avoiding me. And I had no idea why. She wouldn’t reason it out with me though. She just told me that our relationship was all wrong. We’re not friends anymore but I was so madly in love with her. And to this day, I have no idea why she started ignoring me. [Read: How to read mixed signals from a girl]

#4 Life can be unpredictable and unfair. Deal with it. Sometimes, circumstances are beyond your control. The girl you like may be madly in love with another guy, or she may already be dating someone else seriously, or there may be some other reason. What matters here is that life is unpredictable and sometimes, you just need to accept it.

#5 Preferences and choices. We all have our own choices in the kind of partner we like. The girl you like has a choice to turn you down. If a girl you find unattractive asks you out, you may be flattered, but you’d still turn her down, wouldn’t you? Why is it wrong if the girl you like does the same to you?

#6 Learn to let go of your anger. You’re upset and angry. But that just won’t help you. Let go of the rage and move on. You win some and you lose some. Enjoy the game of life with no regrets or frustrations. [Read: Signs you’re experiencing unrequited love]

6 things to learn from a bad proposal

If you’ve asked a girl out and she turned you down, learn from the experience and see if there are any flaws about yourself that you can pick from it. Perhaps, you were being hasty or pushy, or you still have a few personality flaws that need to be fixed. Here are 6 things you need to learn before trying to get over her.

#1 Don’t be hasty. Don’t rush in too fast in the heat of the moment. If you’re too easy to get or reveal just how much you love a girl too soon, she may take you lightly and walk all over you.

#2 What are your flaws? Every single guy in the world, even the biggest of flirters and smooth talkers, has a few flaws. When you look back at how you asked a girl out, remember the way she behaved initially and how she changed when you asked her out. Could you have changed something about the way you went about the dating game? [Read: How to tell a girl you love her without losing her]

#3 Build the tension. Never pop the question out of the blue. You like her, and she seems interested in you. Instead of looking for ways to let her know about the love you have for her, look for ways to make the conversations and the relationship more exciting. Make her go weak in her knees without letting her know how crazy you are about her. [Read: 10 ways to build sexual tension with a girl you like]

#4 Always know the answer before you ask the question. This is very important. Don’t tell a girl that you like her before you know her intentions about you. If you’ve already been on a few dates with her, there’s a good chance she likes you. But wait until you’re certain about her feelings before you reveal yours.

#5 Understand what turns her off. There are many things that turn a girl off. And many guys don’t know the things that matter to a girl. Find out the things that turn her off and avoid them. You need to be a great guy to get a great girl to fall for you. [Read: 10 biggest dating turn offs for girls]

#6 Become the guy all girls desire. There are a few traits about guys that all girls find irresistible. Become that perfect guy and all girls will like you as a friend and desire you as a lover. Be that guy and you’ll see how easy it is to get any girl you like. [Read: What do girls like in guys more than anything else?]

How to get over a girl and move on

Now that you’ve learnt from your past errors, here are 8 steps you need to take to become a better guy and get over the girl you like at the same time.

#1 It takes time. You have to deal with it. There’s no easy way to get over a girl you like. All you can do is keep yourself distracted until the wound heals.

#2 Shut her from your mind. Don’t think of her. If her thoughts come to your mind, think of something else. It feels good to remember her face or look at her new facebook photos and updates, but you’re only making the whole experience hurt more. You’ve lost her and she’s not coming back. So why are you hurting yourself for no reason? [Read: 12 devious ways to see your friend naked]

#3 Don’t become a new guy. Don’t change your personality around her after she tells you that she doesn’t like you. Don’t behave stiffly or act moody when she’s around. Your plea for attention will fall on deaf ears and she may even avoid you further because you’re acting weird. And you’ll be the only one that’s hurting even more. She doesn’t like you, so even if you try to get her attention by avoiding her, she wouldn’t care! [Read: How to kiss a friend accidentally and get away with it]

#4 Don’t behave like a hopeless romantic. If you try to get drunk or talk endlessly about her, you’re not doing yourself a favor. Learn from the experience and try to avoid the same errors the next time you like a girl.

#5 Give up. Share your feelings with her just one more time if you really want to, but in a casual manner. If that doesn’t work, give up and never hope for her to say yes again. Keeping your hopes alive will stunt you from becoming a better guy or liking another girl.

#6 Don’t look at her as a prize. “If I get richer, she’ll date me,” “If I start behaving better, she’ll date me.” These lines will only make you more miserable. You’re only making yourself more vulnerable to heartbreak because quite frankly, she doesn’t care about you or who you are anymore. [Read: How to make a girl like you without asking her out]

#7 Don’t plot revenge. She has a right to say no to you, just like you have the right to say no to a girl you find unattractive. Accept her choice and move on. Plotting revenge will stagnate your life and leave you obsessing about her even more.

#8 Find other girls to pursue. This is the best way to get over a girl you like. You’ve had your chance and you blew it. So screw it and move on. Learn from your errors and find someone else to get attracted to. If you make the right moves this time around, you’ll definitely get the girl you like and get over the girl who broke your heart at the same time!

[Read: How to get a girl to like you again in 10 steps]

Use this guide on how to get over a girl who doesn’t like you and you’ll definitely learn from the experience. And the best part is that it’ll make you a much better guy who’ll eventually get a much better girl too!

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Jake Butler
Jake Butler
A scuba diver by profession, Jake Butler loves traveling the world without spending any money. He has no fear of depths, and hates the idea of shallow living....
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15 thoughts on “How to Get Over a Girl Who Doesn’t Like You Back”

  1. Christ says:

    The most important thing about moving on is acceptance. If you can truly accept that it’s over in your heart, then moving on will be a breeze.

    But when a guy likes a girl, it becomes an addiction to woo her and make her like him. So even the thought of moving on is something you can’t even imagine. You can try, but she’ll keep coming back into your head. It’s like a nicotine fix that we constantly need. Just when we think we’re over it, we’re right back where we started. Miserable, frustrated and pained.

    The only way to get over a girl is to deal with it like a a child’s addiction. Replace the girl’s thoughts with another girl’s thoughts! Trust me, it works.

  2. SoVeryTrue says:

    there are so many women out there today, and all i would want is one to make me very happy. when i do go to the clubs, there is always at least one attractive woman that i would like to meet. but the one that i would like to meet seem to just not want to be bothered at all, and yet they seem to go after the ugly men. now this confuses me a lot, unless they have a lot of money which women will go after the men that they know that do have money. go figure.

  3. Chris says:

    in a perfect world this piece could be considered a valid. But in Realville where I live this sounds more like a super nice version of “it’s me, not you”
    Women are not attracted to nice guys. They want a really good looking guy when in the “trophy boy” stage, then later on they will most likely switch to the guy who has the most means, that would be the “daddy stage”.
    And this whole “try to be a better guy” is nonsense. Women only care to be around great guys so then can have someone to talk to when they’re complaining about something wrong their boyfriends do. If women were interested in great guys, we wouldn’t see so many breakups

  4. Nonya Bizness says:

    Give up and face the fact that no girl will ever like you, so don’t even bother and face the fact that you’re a loser.

  5. Rodney B. Jackson says:

    I never really tried to date girls that didn’t show me interest. But ach and every time I showed a girl that I liked special attention she pulled away or completely loss interest.

  6. Paul says:

    Most of the women nowadays are Very Pathetic to begin with since they play hard to get, and they’re very Stuck Up too.

  7. Terry says:

    Honestly this article is pretty useless. Yea there are the tips but no real follow through. What do ya do if none of it works. What do you do if you end up comparing everyone to her. What do you do if you have spent the past fifteen years wishing for her just because you can recall the exact second you fell in love with her then get played like a sucker and still can’t hate her for it. You know what you do. You say to hell with women and go hunting. Sometimes you meet “The one” and you don’t get her. Trying after that is pointless and you just need to figure out what else makes you happy. Sometimes giving the hell up on the entire gender is the only option. And honestly I’m happier for it. I don’t have women I just don’t see a use in having a relationship anymore.

  8. Emily says:

    I’m in a situation where a guy likes me but I don’t feel the same way. It’s not that there’s someone else, I just don’t. But I really enjoy being friends with him, he’s kind, funny, and a great talker. We’re both a bit awkward so it’s odly fitting.
    Why I don’t like him confuses the hell out of me. The feelings aren’t there a I have no idea why. I hate that I can’t offer him anymore than friendship. But I don’t think it is fair to either one of us if we pursue a romantic relationship.
    Guys,what I’m trying to say is not every girl is a bitch, a lot are, I won’t deny that. The feeling is either there or not, why exactly is often the most complex question. Love and life can be excessively cruel. Why a girl may avoid you (if they are not a bitch) is that the fact that because they don’t feel the same way, it makes us/them feel very guilty. Because I’ve been in a situation where a guy didn’t like me back and went for my best friend. Form experience, it hurts like hell, we know you are hurting, and it cause us pain that you are going through that and we are the ones causing it. I feel so terrible that I’m making someone go through that. And so in our minds, as twisted as it is, avoidance seems an acceptable solution. Why? Because then we think that OK, we aren’t leading you on anymore. Also being friends isn’t bad alternative. Guys friends are incredibly refreshing as far as friendships go. You give us a new perspective. And for me personally, I find friendships to be stronger. Maybe this will provide some insight to a female’s mind. Believe me, it makes no more sense to us.

  9. randyb says:

    We all been there there’s millions of woman who will love you like he said you win some you lose some

  10. Vilas says:

    Good article .. this is what i was looking for. Thank u

  11. angel says:

    Live can be bad but you should push it back.

  12. angel says:

    And move on

  13. OneWhoKnows says:

    That just shows that you are one of those people who do not care for anyone elses feelings besides your own. Sooner ornlater you’ll find yourself by yourself with an attitude like that.

  14. Divasatanica says:

    I have been telling a guy no for the past four years. He is a nice person and all but I am not attracted to him. Never was, never suggested so too. I have been in other relationships too in all this time and I am still having to actively tell him no. I have blocked him on the Internet and he started to keep in touch through our mutual friends. I moved apartments so he stops stalking me too. But he still finds me and I am left with a heavy sheild blocking him. In past he has also tried to blackmail me into loving him by claiming he would take his life if I did not. I am not very pretty or social. I am ordinary in every sense. I do not see why anyone should be so obsessed. What can I tell him so he understands that it will never happen?

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