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How to Ask a Girl Out When You’re a Shy Guy

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Do you want to know how to ask a girl out, but feeling too intimidated to approach her? The Super Fella reveals a complete step-by-step guide to making a cautious move and making her like you back.

how to ask a girl out

Knowing how to ask a girl out is actually quite simple if you follow these tips.

At times, asking a girl out can be quite intimidating and scary, especially if you’re not very comfortable with making a straight move.

[Read: How to flirt with a girl by behaving like a friend]

How to ask a girl out when you’re shy

Asking a girl out when you’re quite scared to make a move on her can be painful.

We’ve all been there at some point in our lives.

And if you’re dealing with that issue now, don’t worry about it. You can always man up eventually.

Very soon, you can be a pro and make the girl like you even before you ask her out!

[Read: How to make a girl like you without asking her out]

You could always walk up to the girl and tell her you like her. But there’s a big chance that she may spurn your advances.

Really, she doesn’t even know you, and she wouldn’t really appreciate the fact that a total stranger is trying to pick her up at work or on a lonely street.

The best way to ask a girl out, especially if you’re shy and feel uneasy about making a move is to play it slow.

By doing this, you can actually let the girl know you’re interested in her without having to deal with the pressure of asking her out face to face.

Asking a girl out – The shy guy’s guide

Firstly, bide your time. Play a sweet little waiting game, and like a cat waiting for the mice to come out and play, wait.

Now you need quite a bit of information for this to work. And the best part is that each day, you are bound to see a bit of progress. But one bit of advice and warning, this will take at least a few weeks of patience and you have to be willing to play it slow. [Read: Surefire ways to make her like you even if she has a boyfriend]

There are just three steps you need to know to ask a girl out. Once you’re through with it, you can sit back and watch the magic unfold all by itself. But it’s up to you, and how hard you work to get all three steps down to the tee.

Step #1 Figure out her routine

Does the girl you like work in the cubicle next to yours or does she come by to the same cafeteria for lunch? Or is your crush in the same university or in the next class? Get these little bits of information and that can help you a long way.

Over a few days, see if you can figure a routine. It will be a lot easier to spot her and make your move if you know her routine in advance.

If you know that the girl you like always has a gelato after lunch, then make sure you’re at the right place at around the same time. A smile if both of you step in at the same time is a great start if you can work up your courage for it. [Read: Tips to talk to a girl for the first time]

Bumping into her every now and then is more than half the work done. And a couple of weeks later, you could just smile, walk up to her and say “how are you?”

If you can really pull this off, then well, you’re not a shy guy anymore, are you?!

You can skip the other two moves if you’re able to start a conversation with her right away. But as with everything else in life, it’s not that easy to start a conversation when you’re feeling all vulnerable and shy. If you can’t really start ask a girl out even after bumping in occasionally, then move on to the second step.

Step #2 Where does she hang out?

Now you don’t have to get to know every single thing she does, but just get to know where she hangs out in college or at work, during her free time. That gives you an opportunity to walk across once in a while. You don’t have to talk, but it’s good enough if the girl you like knows you exist, and gets familiar with your presence.

Now if she likes to hang out by the cafeteria, or on a particular bench after college, make sure you’re there with a few of your friends. You don’t want to look like a sore loser who skulks around corners all by himself. You don’t even have to look at your crush all the time, just have fun with your own friends with just an occasional glance now and then. Do this and you’ll pave your path to a successful step on how to ask a girl out. [Read: 10 things women really like in a man]

You won’t actually be able to ask a girl out this way, but you can show off and let her know you’re a great guy who can be a lot of fun!

And remember, if you want to ask a girl out, she needs to know you’re a great guy who’s fun to be with. And to get someone to fancy you is not a very simple task! While you’re out there with your friends, remember never to overact or behave like a monkey. You could even just sit down quietly and get her attention. Just be yourself. [Read: 10 bad characteristics of guys that all girls hate]

Step #3 Meet her friends

Now this is a crucial part. And this part can help you even if the others fail. Get to know any of her friends, even if it’s a guy.

Her friends may be weird or probably, the coolest bunch in the office or your campus, but getting to know one of them can give you the golden ticket to asking the girl out.

You could probably meet one of them somewhere. You may have a few mutual friends who may know a few other mutual friends who may know this girl. Social networking in real life can make a big difference! Once you get to know a good friend of the girl you like, take a break and go celebrate. Your mission to ask out the girl of your dreams is almost complete. [Read: Tips to become a better man]

Meeting the girl you like

As you walk past the girl you like, keep your eyes peeled and see if your new friend is hanging out with her. If you’ve met a good friend of hers, there’s a good chance he may be with her when you walk past. Wave out to your new friend when he’s with her and the rest of her friends.

Walk up to him and have a brief conversation for a minute with your new friend, and walk out. Don’t linger even if you’re introduced to everyone, and pretend like you’ve got to be somewhere else.

You want the girl you like to know you have now started getting friendly with her group of friends, but don’t make it look like you’ve got nothing better to do than to make them feel uncomfortable with your sudden company.

Walk away and give your crush’s friends some time to talk about you, and how this friend of yours got to know you.

You can walk by her group of friends the next day or after a few days, say your hello and this time around, linger. Stay back there, and whenever you feel like, just work your courage to talk to the girl you like. And even if you’re unable to start a conversation, don’t worry. Now that you’re friends, it’s only a matter of time before you start talking! [Read: How to get a girl to like you]

How to ask a girl out

If you pull these three steps off nicely and in a way that is not overdone, you can be sure that you would have impressed the girl you like, which is just perfect!

She obviously knows you like her. After all, you have been looking at her now and then since a while. But yet, she won’t be too certain about it, which makes it more exciting. Whenever you make a girl wonder about your feelings towards her, there’s a good chance that she would want your attention. [Read: Easy steps to start dating a friend]

But don’t go straight out and ask her out or tell her that you love her and want to get married and make babies. Instead, let her begin to like you for who you are, and give her a chance to miss you and your attention, when you aren’t around.

Once you know that it’s the perfect time, after both of you have hung out for a while, look around for signs that suggest that she too shares your feelings. Once you feel the right vibes, you can pop the question or both of you can go on for some hand holding and cuddling over a movie, or do whatever it is that you shy couples do!

[Read: How to touch a girl the right way and make her want you]

If you’re not too comfortable with asking her out directly, use these three steps on how to ask a girl out to work in your favor. And as long as you play it cool , you’ll get the girl to like you back too!


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Have your say!
  • Jacob
    November 20, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’m a shy guy, been that way my whole life. There’s this girl that I really like, and I eventually want to ask her out. I know that she likes me, based on what some of her co-workers have told me. She’s kind of reserved, like me, so I’ve been very careful to take things slow. Over the couse of the last month, I have been stopping by her place of work, to kind of get a feel for her routine. Whenever I would see her, I would always engage in some small conversations with her, you know, nothing major. Recently, I was able to get up enough courage to exchange numbers with her, and that same night, I got a text from her. We texted back and forth over the next few days, and I was able to learn a little bit more about her. She’s a very busy girl, who works 3 jobs, so I’ve been going easy on the text messages, because she pretty much works twice a day. I still make it a habit of taking time out of some days to continue to talk to her in person. I still get nervous when I see her, but I hope that with time, I will become more at ease around her. I want to tell her how I really feel about her, but I know that if I do that now, she probably would take it the wrong way. I’ve been patient and have taken it slow so far, and I’ve made some progress. I guess the key going forward is to continue to take it slow, and see what develops.

  • Love Oleco
    December 14, 2012 | Permalink |

    Its cool reading this,I’m gonna try yhis out on my crush cus I’m one of those shy guys-:

  • Shy guy 101
    December 19, 2012 | Permalink |

    I m 12 and used to be gay but then I found this girl who I love so much and were basically cople but without actually saying it we hold hands hug and even kiss every now and again but I’m too scared to actually actually ask her out lol what should I do

  • rafael333
    January 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    iam too one of the shy guys.. Iam 15 and my gf is too.. I havent talked to her but she knows that i love her as i always follow her.. I know that she likes me but iam shy to ask her out and also i have no place to talk to her.. But she’s too cute.. But once i went to her and asked whether she would be my friend.. She starred at me and went with no words from her mouth can some one tell me some ways.. Please..

  • shy_guy_Sometimes
    January 24, 2013 | Permalink |

    Figuring out too much of a person without meeting her could be considered rude and stalking. Especially if you were a guy the girl wasn’t interested in.

    And think about it, why spend all that time figuring out a girls routines and stalking her hangouts, just to eventually get rejected.

    In my opinion the simple, basic, direct, “in the moment” approach is still better off for shy guys.

  • April 29, 2013 | Permalink |

    OK, NOW I’M ANGRY! You people say to take is slow? With all due respect, taking it slow is the reason why I’m 30 years old and still never had a girlfriend in my life. Odds are, it you don’t ask that girl that you’re interested in on a date within a very short time, you’ll never be with her because frankly, you’ll never even see her again to talk to her. That’s happened to me every single time, seriously. I knew pretty girls at college and work, but I frankly only noticed and was interested in them either just before they quit or just before the semester in college ended.

  • lover
    October 25, 2013 | Permalink |

    There is this girl at school who I have a huge crush on, but I am really shy. Also, I am only 14 and do not know where my parents stand on dating. How can I ask her out?

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