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A Guy’s Guide to the Faux-O: How to Fake a Male Orgasm

male orgasm

You may be surprised to know men can fake their orgasms, with 10 times the difficulty! We’re showing you how to fake a male orgasm and when to do it.

It might sound ridiculous, crazy, even, that a man would ever need to fake an orgasm, but the truth is that it happens more than you think. A 2012 study found that out of 2000 men, a whopping 34% admitted to faking it and in an AskMen.com study, 23% of men will have faked it at some point or another!

Stereotypes suggest it’d be wrong or downright strange, if a man doesn’t climax during sex. So even if a guy had wanted to at some point or another, he might be too shy or too inexperienced to know how to put the faux “O” in “Oscar-worthy performance.”

There are several checkpoints to hit when going for the imitation orgasm, and also key scenarios that are even appropriate for such naughty behavior. Before we get into those, let’s take a look at why in the world a male would want to fake his climax in the first place.

Why he’d even want to

With nerve endings in the male anatomy being out there for the world to see, it’s a wonder men would feel the need to fake at all. So what’s with the male faux O’s? Some men suffer from DE, or “delayed ejaculation,” a condition in which men can’t seem to orgasm through sexual interactions or masturbation. For the rest of them, it turns out men fake it for pretty much the same reasons as females do.

#1 Too tired. Whether it was a long day at work, he’s emotionally exhausted, drunk, or he’s been physically going non-stop all week, sometimes he’s just too damn tired to make it happen. If you want to try to combat this without having to put on a fake-O-show, try having your girlfriend get on top so she can do most of the work, but don’t be surprised if your little man doesn’t want to cooperate. [Read: 20 ways to help maintain an erection]

#2 He doesn’t want to hurt his partner’s feelings. No matter which gender you are, it really sucks when your partner doesn’t finish. Not only did they not experience a pleasurable orgasm, but you’re left wondering what you did wrong. Like women, some men just know it isn’t going to happen but don’t want to crush their partner’s ego. Rather than crush their partner’s sexual ego or hurt their feelings, they resort to the occasional fake.

#3 He’s bored. There’s a well-believed saying that when it comes to men, “even bad sex is good sex,” but this just isn’t the case. If your partner doesn’t seem to be into the sex you’re having, or doesn’t seem to be participating, you may just end up getting bored and losing your gusto to finish. [Read: 9 awkward signs you’re having bad sex]

#4 Already had sex today. If you’ve already had sex once or twice today, odds are it’s going to get harder and harder to reach orgasm. Orgasms typically take longer to get to, once you’ve already had one that day.

[Read: 22 common reasons women fake their orgasm]

How to fake a male orgasm

Now that you know the why of the ordeal, here’s the juicy bit: how to do it. It’s a lot simpler than you think, even as a man!

#1 Wear a condom. If you don’t wear a condom, it’s almost impossible to fake it successfully. After all, women know when they have sperm inside them, because it drips back out. The lack of come coming back out of her is either going to have your girlfriend very freaked out, or very confused. So practice safe sex and use a faux-O-concealing condom.

#2 Know your orgasm. The key to knowing how to fake an orgasm is to know how you orgasm organically. It can be hard to focus on pretty much anything when you’re on the brink of coming, but try to pay attention next time!

Do you make noise? Thrust a little? Stiffen up? Close your eyes? It’s extremely likely that your partner knows your O-face, so try your best to replicate your real orgasm experience. Doggy-style will be your best friend when faking an O, this way your girl won’t be able to judge your performance too harshly!

#3 Don’t put on a show. When women fake an orgasm they usually tend to put on a heck of a show in the process. Screaming and over-exaggerated writhing and clenching are all part of the performance. Men get so excited by the commotion, some will never know his girl’s orgasm was a phony.

Don’t do this. Try not to make your “orgasm” an act that’s screen worthy, just make it believable. Your girl will notice, and she’ll definitely call you out on it.

#4 Dispose of the evidence. It’s imperative that you dispose of the evidence within a minute of the act being over. Once you’re finished up, quickly slip off the condom into a napkin or toilet paper and toss that sucker right into the garbage, before your girlfriend gets a chance to see the evidence. If your girl insists you come in for a cuddle afterwards, tell her you just want to get cleaned up first, and then you’re all hers.

#5 Never try with oral. This really goes without saying, but you should never, ever, ever try to pass one off on your girlfriend while she has you in her mouth. There are too many obvious, tell-tale signs of a male orgasm: ball and penis contractions, softening of the penis, sperm… While women may be able to pass off a writhing fake O during oral, for men this is one big no-no.

[Read: 8 tips and tricks to give her oral like a pro]

Just like the female orgasm, always remember to use a phoney climax only in case of emergencies, and never fool your partner into thinking they’re pleasuring you when they’re not. Your lover can’t get better, if they don’t know they’re doing something wrong. In all other faux-O situations, good luck!

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Minot Little
Minot Little

Minot Little is a freelance writer who has been getting paid for spreading her sarcastic take on love, life, and sex since 2010. She is many things that peop...

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DISCUSSION

4 thoughts on “A Guy’s Guide to the Faux-O: How to Fake a Male Orgasm”

  1. Blue says:

    This reminds me of my college days when I would hook up casually almost every single night. I wasn’t the type that studies at night.
    It got to the point that I didn’t want to cum because I didn’t want to get too tired than I already was. I mastered the art of cumming without cumming. All that the articles tips are awesome but if I may add, you can actually go without a condom. Just act like you’re about to cum and then pull out and immediately just go to the bathroom. That’s more suitable for casual hook ups though, because you could just act that you don’t want her to get pregnant and act like you’re just washing your dong.

  2. Reginald says:

    There’s a couple of times I’ve been in this spot. Yeah, it’s usually because I’m too tired or I’m really not feeling the whole idea to begin with, but doing it with a condom on is without a doubt the best possible advice you could read. When you’ve done the deed, then you can quickly excuse yourself to get rid of all the evidence and go back to bed to go to sleep. I’m a guy who gets delayed ejaculations on a regular basis, so unless I’m really into a girl, it’s going to be a pretty big ordeal for me. Faking it isn’t a bad way to go to spare everyone’s feelings.

  3. mijo says:

    As much as I like coming inside of a girl, I don’t really find it really hard to pull of a fake orgasm. I mean, yeah you could just fake it and say that you don’t have much cum because you masturbate a lot and that’s a actually a good thing for the both of you especially that you do’t want her to get pregnant or anything. You just wanna have fun mijo, so just have some freaking fun. Don’t worry about her finding out that you faked your orgasm because girls are stupid, they will believe everything you say that’s about the male penis. You can even say that your cum is actually invisible sometimes and of course, any girl will believe. you.

  4. explode says:

    It’s easy and I always do it. I have the ability to really just squeeze out some of my pee and it’s kind of white so it’s most often being mistaken for sperm. LOL. I do it just for laughs and telling my hookups that I exploded in them and I reveal that I have this talent. They aren’t still happy though because I peed in their vagina.

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