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How Often Should You Text a Girl? 17 Must-Know Rules of Texting

how often should you text a girl

Are you texting a girl you like too often? Or are you playing it too cool? How often should you text a girl? Well, here are all the answers you need!

Texting used to be a luxury only some people had. It made it convenient to send someone a quick note about something that wasn’t worth calling over. Nowadays, it’s used as a primary way to communicate with people you can’t always see, including girls. And how often should you text a girl is a question most guys wonder at some point or other.

Texting is used a lot in the dating world. Texting helps when it comes to getting to know someone, but there are so many rules attached to it! If you mess up on the texting front, it’s not easy to recover.

Why do such rules exist?

Wouldn’t it be much easier if you could just text a girl all you want without having to worry about some set of rules? Yes, it would. But that’s just not how it is anymore. The rules exist for a reason—to save you from embarrassing yourself and messing it all up.

Girls are testy. We read way too much into the smallest of things. If you break some of these texting rules, it makes us think certain things even if you may have meant the opposite. That’s why following the rules are crucial if you want a girl. [Read: What to text a girl – Dos, don’ts and all the secrets to know]

How often should you text a girl?

One of those crucial rules is how often you should actually text a girl. Sometimes you should text her a lot, and other times pull back and give her a chance to respond first.

So, I think the better question to answer would be, when should you and when should you not text a girl. Here’s your texting guide to help save you from messing everything up with a girl you like.

When you should text her

#1 After you got her number. If you just got her number and wait forever to text her, she thinks you weren’t into it and move on. Text her within a few hours of receiving her number to let her know who it is and to strike up a conversation to get to know her. [Read: Texting your crush: A step-by-step guide to doing it right]

#2 After a date. Some people think the classic, “I had a great time!” text after a date is boring and overdone, but it’s still appreciated. The trick is to do this in a unique way. Maybe you start by bringing up a topic you discussed or quipping back to a joke she made earlier.

Both of those show you enjoyed yourself and that you paid attention. Just don’t do this directly after the date. Wait a few hours or even wait until the next day. [Read: The texting and follow-up guide after a great first date]

#3 When she seems to be talkative. If your conversation started off great, and you dived into really good topics and she seems to be in the talkative mood, keep texting her. Don’t cut the conversation off if you can help it. Girls like long, meaningful conversations. If you ditch out right when we get going, it looks bad.

#4 When you think about her. If you think about her during the day, send her a cute text saying so. It doesn’t even have to be anything elaborate. Something as little as, “Hey! I hope your day is going well, thinking about you,” is more than enough to make her smile and enjoy seeing your name pop up on her screen.

#5 If something reminded you of her. If you scroll through your phone and a funny picture or video reminds you of her, send her a text! It doesn’t matter what time of day it is *as long as it’s not too late*, she’ll be happy to get it. Knowing something made you think of her makes her so happy. [Read: How to tell if a girl is flirting with you]

#6 When you haven’t heard from her all day. If you usually talk regularly and you haven’t heard from her that day, it’s safe to send a text without worrying about being annoying. Making it cute and lighthearted like “Hey stranger, how’s your day going?” definitely helps.

#7 When you have something to ask her. If you just have a quick question to ask her, it really doesn’t matter when you text her. If it’s not something she answered a million times, text her questions as much as you want. Obviously without being annoying and making it an interview. [Read: Texting etiquette – 20 unwritten rules of savvy text flirting]

When you shouldn’t text her

#1 If she’s upset/angry. The best thing to do for a girl who feels angry or upset is to NOT put yourself in the middle of it. Sometimes we get really annoyed if you’re texting us when you know we’re in a terrible mood because we’re just more irritable when we’re upset.

#2 If it’s past 10pm. That is, if you try to start a conversation. The reason for this is because you don’t want to make her seem like a booty call. And texting her this late—especially if it’s for the first time that day—sends the wrong message. If you’re already talking and you continue past this time, you’re fine.

#3 When you know she’s busy. If you know she’s at work or busy with errands and you keep texting her, she’ll get really pissed really fast. It’s annoying and you know she’s busy. Leave her alone to get her work done.

#4 When she’s out with the girls. The worst thing is texting a girl when she’s out with her friends. It’s her time to let loose and enjoy time with her friends. If you start texting her—especially back-to-back with no response—it seems like you’re possessive. Huge turn off.

#5 If she hasn’t responded to your last text. Don’t send texts repeatedly. If she hasn’t responded to your previous one and it’s only been a couple hours, sending another text annoys. She starts to think you’re a little possessive and needy. [Read: 11 realistic reasons why she isn’t responding to your texts]

#6 If you’re not into her. Why would you keep leading a girl on if you know you’re not into her? If you just text her to “keep your options open” just stop. There’s no need to do that and be a jerk.

Don’t go texting girls you don’t even like—unless you’re just friends.

#7 If you’re just bored. A girl shouldn’t be your form of entertainment. If she’s fun to talk to, great! But don’t use her to keep you entertained. Most likely, it comes across as bored, and she knows it’s the only reason you’re texting her.

Signs to lay off texting

If you really want to know how often you should text a girl, you must be able to read the signs of when you’re doing it too much. These signs tell you to lay off texting her.

#1 She hasn’t responded. If it’s been a few hours to a few days and she hasn’t got back to you, chances are it’s because she doesn’t really want to talk to you.

#2 Her responses are short and blunt. If you send deep and meaningful texts and try to have a conversation and her responses are one or two words, just stop. Either she’s busy and doesn’t want to talk or she just isn’t into the conversation and is just too nice to say so. [Read: 18 really obvious signs a girl really likes you over text]

#3 She made it clear she’s not into you. If she’s made it pretty damn clear she isn’t into dating you and you keep texting her, it looks horrible on your part. When you know she doesn’t like you, don’t keep texting her.

[Read: How to get any girl to like you: 18 secrets to impress any girl]

The rules of texting are complicated, but necessary. These are the rules you follow to know how often you should text a girl and when the best time to do so is.

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Bella Pope
Bella Pope
Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...

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