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Does Size Matter to Women or Is There More To It?

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Does size matter to women? The simple truth? Yes, size does matter. But not in the way you think. Read this to understand how size really matters. By Kayla Kissinger

Have you ever felt self conscious about how well you’re endowed down there?

You’re not alone.

Unless you’re hung like a horse, almost all men have found themselves asking this question through the years.

It starts in the school showers and lasts all the way through their adulthood.

But with all the emphasis that men give their members, does size even matter to women?

[Read: 20 things that turn a girl on sexually or otherwise when she sees a guy]

Does size matter to women?

Well, this is not an answer that can be answered simply with a yes or a no.

As a woman, I can tell you that it’s not just the length of the pole that matters entirely. It’s what you do in the hole that really counts.

Even before we get to the details, here’s something you need to remember. Don’t let your penis decide how much of a man you are.

If you’re a guy with a less than memorable penis size, you could end up shying away from the opposite sex just because you feel less than well endowed down there.

And just imagine how that’ll affect your morale and confidence!

Feel more confident about your assets down there, and focus more on pleasuring her through extended foreplay instead of sending your little guy into the tunnel and waiting for him to work all the magic. [Read: 10 things women want in bed to feel sexy and loved]

After all, your sexual abilities and confidence as a person can definitely compensate for your lack of girth or length any day.

Men, women and their oversized obsessions

Women obsess about the size of their own breasts. They constantly wonder if they’re too small. But as a guy, you don’t always care, do you? Okay, maybe you do. [Read: 8 ways to get any girl you like to notice you]

Some guys are obsessed with big breasts while some guys love breasts anyway they come. But if you fell in love with a girl who’s extremely beautiful, smart and fun, would you still care if her breasts are smaller than average or mosquito bites?

For women, it works the same way with a man’s size down there. If she likes you for who you are, she’d be willing to accommodate your less than satisfactory package.

But then again, if she does find out that she’s dating a guy with a bigger penis, she’d obviously be happy to know that. It feels great to date a man who’s well endowed down there. And just the thought of something that big going into her can excite her or even turn her on! [Read: How to make a girl want you sexually]

And let’s face it, a girl gets bragging rights if the sizes conversation ever does come up with her own girlfriends on a drunken night.

So does size matter to women? Well, even if a small penis functions just as well when it has to do its job, she would definitely prefer an average or a slightly above average one over a tiny one for all the other reasons.

What’s the average size of a male member?

There’s no hard and fast rule about the size of a penis. But to put your mind at ease, anywhere between five to six inches is definitely considered average. Anything less than that and you’d get a sympathetic smile. Anything more than that, and she’ll plaster a wide smile of awe that is directly proportional to the length of your penis!

Almost everyone in the world is average, so don’t fret about it. Girls are fine with an average sized member. All said and done, being average is okay, but when you’re too small, it can be quite a letdown when she slips her hand in and find’s a baby penis in your shorts. You know what, it may even freak her out! [Read: Are attractive girls actually mean to guys?]

Does a big penis make a difference while having sex?

Do girls like a big member while having sex? Well, this is the most confusing part of all. Many girls are happy to snuggle with an average member, while many other girls want something that’s way bigger than just the average.

Some girls say a bigger penis means better sex, while other girls hate a big member because it hurts them. So what’s the deal here?

Does the size of a man’s member actually affect the outcome of sex?

The truth – Yes, the penis size does matter

The size of a man’s penis definitely does matter when it comes to having sex. And your size does play a huge role in whether you’ll be able to help your woman orgasm better.

There, I’ve said it! Size definitely does matter to women. But then again, it’s really not in the way you think.

If you have a considerably big penis, you may have experienced this. Some girls love the way you feel inside them. And some girls may actually cringe in pain and ask you to slow down or avoid penetrating fully. So what’s happening here? The same penis brings pleasure to some girls, but hurts other girls? Isn’t that weird? [Read: 10 ways to build sexual tension with a girl you like]

Kama sutra and the sizes

The Kama sutra is a manual of love written over 2000 years ago in India by a man named Vatsyayana. In one of the chapters on sexual union, he explains about the division of men into three kinds based on the size of their lingam (penises). Additionally, he also divides women into three types based on the depth of their yoni (vulva) *the depth of the yoni here signifies the depth of the vagina*.

According to the Kama sutra, based on the size of his lingam, a man can either be a hare, a bull or a horse. And a woman, based on the depth of her yoni, can either be a female deer, a mare or a female elephant.

And the outcome and pleasure of sexual union between a man and a woman can be determined by these divisions.

Men  (size of the lingam)        -           Women (size of the yoni)

Hare (small lingam)                -           Deer (short yoni)

Bull (average lingam)              -          Mare (average yoni)

Horse (large lingam)               -           Elephant (deep yoni)

The sexual union between a hare man and a deer woman, a bull man and a mare woman, and a horse man and an elephant woman would lead to more pleasurable orgasms and a better sexual union than any other type of combinations of men and women. These three unions are called equal unions or perfect unions.

On the other hand, if a horse man penetrates a deer woman, that is, if a man with a longer member penetrates a woman with a short vagina, it’ll end up causing discomfort to the woman. The only way around this is for the man to penetrate her halfway or to the point where she is comfortable.

Another scenario is when a hare man penetrates an elephant woman. In this case, a man with a short member penetrates a woman with a deeper vagina. In this case, the woman may never be able to experience heightened orgasms or sexual satisfaction with him because the man would never be able to reach deeper into her. [Read: The step-by-step guide to having tantric sex for the first time]

Sizes and pleasurable sex

According to the Kama sutra, if a male’s erect member goes through the vagina of a female and touches the entrance to the cervix when the vagina is penetrated *the cervix is the opening to the uterus*, it leads to powerful orgasms and a much better sexual experience.

So does size really matter? Now you know that it definitely does. And the constant confusion over a few women saying size doesn’t matter and size does matter can actually be answered by keeping the Kama sutra in mind.

An elephant woman with a deeper vagina would definitely prefer a horse man with a longer member. While a deer woman with a shorter vagina may be fascinated by a large erection, but she’ll be able to experience the best sex with someone like a hare man who has a small member. [Read: How to sit next to a girl and make her horny]

Big isn’t always better. Small isn’t always snug.

Of course, we can’t all go measuring the lengths and depths each time we date someone. And you can’t really figure the sizes of someone’s privates by just looking at them.

But at the end of it all, when you do have sex with someone, what matters is how comfortable both of you are down there while having sex. If it’s too big for her, you’ll hurt her. If it’s too small for her, she won’t feel what she wants to feel. [Read: 20 dirty questions to text a girl and make her wet]

A guy who feels small about himself down there may actually be able to give better orgasms to many girls than a guy who’s hung like a horse. [Read: How to hook up with a girl you just met and have sex with her]

So however well or less than well endowed you are down there, fret not, there’s a perfect match or an almost perfect match in all of us. Just as long as you avoid the contrasting opposites as a sexual partner, you’ll definitely have a great time in bed.

So how do you recognize a contrasting sexual partner? Well, just have sex. You’ll know the next morning, won’t you?!

[Read: How to get a girl who's a friend to have sex with you]

So if you’re still wondering about the big question now, does size matter to women, well, you do know that big is not always the best, after all. A perfect match is way better!


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Have your say!
  • Marjorie
    June 6, 2012 | Permalink |

    As a woman, I can tell with experience with a lot of men that size does matter. The guys who have smaller members have never ever pleased me. At times, I’ve seriously even wondered if the guy is in or still out too!

    But at the same time, I have a lot of girlfriends who say that size doesn’t matter. So it’s always been a confusion that’s led me to believe that when it comes to size, it’s a personal preference.

    The idea mentioned in the article is excellent, and actually solves all the confusions. Perhaps, as the article says, the vagina too comes in different sizes and it’s been well explained by the author. I’m not happy to assume I’d be the elephant (especially when I’m actually petite and fragile looking!!) but if that’s the way it goes, I’m happy with a big guy any day anyways!

  • Brook
    August 13, 2012 | Permalink |

    my present boyfriend has a large penis, (the largest I’ve had), and after getting used to his size I do like it bigger., But that’s just one part of our relationship.

  • Jess
    September 2, 2012 | Permalink |

    Size does matter, but so does where you are in your cycle. When ovulating or near our fertile peak it’s a whole easier to take more, otherwise if a guy is a bit to large keep the lub handy. I really don’t think it’s the bigger size that makes it better (there is a thing as to big) but rather the mental aspect. Small can get a girl there physically but bigger sure helps mentally as well.

  • N
    October 30, 2012 | Permalink |

    I have a tilted uterus, so the boyfriend I had with a slightly larger than average penis actually hurt me unless he angled himself correctly. So while large may look good, I think average or a little less might be the most comfortable for me.

  • hi
    November 11, 2012 | Permalink |

    apparently foreplay is key (which you briefly admitted). therefore good foreplay, good sex.

    women are emotional creatures. if you’re not emotionally attached to a man then of course it’s not going to be good.

    this article is rubbish. it doesn’t make sense.

    to a woman that wants to go out and have lots of sex then yes size will matter because that’s all she’s after.

  • J
    November 13, 2012 | Permalink |

    The article was some what helpful. However, having intercourse with my wife now, after two children, is very different then when we first got married. It now takes considerable for play as well as, using a larger than myself toy, to provide her with the stimulation that she needs. I am not sure what else I can do. Any suggestions?

  • katylou
    December 1, 2012 | Permalink |

    Yet again another article that skirts around penis size. Firstly I want to separate LOVE & SEX. The penis is a physical object and sex is a physical act. I am a 27 year old female who has had relationships with 8 different men and casual sex with a lot more. My boyfriends, using the 6″ as average, 1 very small, 5 just under or about average, 1 bigger and 1 huge. Sexually, bigger and thicker are the best! AGAIN, just physically, those trying to defend their penis size doesn’t matter opinion like to use things like – the well endowed guy was, clumsy, selfish, came too quick, bad foreplay, it hurt etc. All but the last have zero to do with size, even a very large penis will be accommodated when you are nicely aroused and time is taken. Every single one of my girlfriends and female acquaintances that have experienced a large penis and had a conversation about penis size in my presence have said with confidence and authority that bigger is better! The others say they have never experienced one, when I ask them if they would like to, most say yes. Then there are those females who have a good sex life with average or small and then say that size doesn’t matter. How would they know? Others who have a partner that is small say it because they don’t want to hurt his feelings.
    The real truth is that bigger is better. I have been with my current boyfriend for almost 5 years. Very much in love, a fantastic relationship and plan to get married in the next few years. He has a very small penis, 4 inches and very thin. Actual Intercourse is okay & our sex life is good. A couple of years ago my boyfriend asked me about my past boyfriends, I gave him a brief rundown including brief encounters & one night stands. Then he asked about penis size. I told him that a few were big. I almost lied when he asked if bigger was better. A big cock wont give me love and what we have is the best. Sexually, yes. A few months later a good looking friend of his came over, we had drinks, then my boyfriend told me that if i was comfortable his friend had agreed to a threesome. They both undressed, his friend was huge, my boyfriend sat and watched, his friend said that he had fantasized about me for years, I told him to prove it. What unfolded was the most passionate physical encounter I have ever had! A combination of my loving boyfriend watching us, his friends powerful lust, 5 years of sex with a small penis. The first 5 minutes were a little uncomfortable as i adjusted to his huge thick cock, then the next 10 or 15 minutes was the best sexual intercourse i have ever had, i had several intense orgasms that almost overlapped each other. A short rest and he was hard again, the sex was once again amazing!
    Does size matter? YES, bigger is better!

  • John
    February 1, 2013 | Permalink |

    This is a known scientific fact that womens’ vaginas are not all the same size nor depth. So yes, this conception originating from the Kama Sutra is totally coherent with reality.

    However, your article fail to mention that the Kama Sutra also provides some “tips” to workaround the differences of size, for example some positions to feel more between a “hare” and an “elephant”, and as well as other positions to feel less between a “horse” and a “deer”.

  • Jerry
    April 1, 2013 | Permalink |

    If a finger get can a girl off…

  • Jesse
    May 7, 2013 | Permalink |

    As a woman I’ve actually found size by to matter much. I’ve only come across one that was so small that it wasn’t as good for me. And he certainly had some other skills. My husband isn’t massive but is above average and if we don’t have a reasonable amount of foreplay first it really hurts. Kinda takes the thrill out of a quickie! So actually I think average is better.

  • chicken
    August 13, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m 22 and have had sex with maybe 10 partners over my lifespan. Most of them were huge, and made sex extremely uncomfortable. Even well after I had lost my virginity I would still bleed a little every time I had sex with boyfriends who had big ones…it was so painful that I didn’t like to have sex at all! Even average sized boyfriends as well! One day I had sex with an ex who had a small one and I have to admit it was the best sex I’ve ever had. I never enjoyed having sex until I met him!! Then I wanted it all the time hehehe. Well my current boyfriend is Asian, he has a small one and it is perfect for me. It feels so good. He doesn’t believe me no matter how much I tell him that I’m happy with his size. I like the small ones! :-P

  • Tomk
    September 1, 2013 | Permalink |

    What katylou may be forgetting is that we may not want to LOVE a woman who prefers the size of another man. Furthermore, she also skirts the issue of vaginas coming in different sizes as well. I can see why she would do something like this. First off, it makes it much easier on the woman. After all, if there are any discrepancies, the man is, clearly, to blame, deflecting any criticisms of her own anatomy onto the man.
    Men do have the option of finding another woman who fits them better. I suspect women know this at some level, which is why they, vociferously, implying that vaginas are all the same.

  • Girl
    September 24, 2013 | Permalink |

    I just hope god gives me a guy who has a size which fits me, it would be a turn off if u fall in love with someone and in the time of the sex things turn out odd. If its bigger is better than being small cz it can be awkward for both of u if its so small…kkkk

  • pj
    October 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    I was dating a man who was very tiny. I now got a new date whom hav not yet seen his member. its now two years. i hope hes BiG, or Avarage. It gets me turned on just by seing or feeling a hard p*nis in pants…

  • joe
    October 31, 2013 | Permalink |

    I see opinions and views are different. I’m 34 with average size and tell you one – some girls need a baseball bat to get pleased , other ones are afraid to get more than 5″. I got nice lovely tide one lover and both of us have a perfect sex drive ! Yeah have seen a BIG pussys and normal where normal needs normal guy , BIG pussy need a BIG dick- simple! Some of them need a fist to be pleased”

  • Adrian
    November 29, 2013 | Permalink |

    Hey guys. Is thickness/girth more important than length? I read here about the depth of the vagina being important, but won’t it also be better if you were thicker so that your penis rubs against the inner walls more, and especially like the g-spot and so? As I understand it, the g-spot isn’t deep. My penis is average length but thicker than average girth. I think it also really just depends on how much sex the lady has had in her life, because I’ve had sex with an older woman before where I can’t even feel if I’m in or not, and it’s like she’s just really stretched out. I have to say I actually feel sorry for girls that they have this phenomenon of becoming less tight over time, especially once they’ve had a baby. Guys, could you imagine your penis became smaller or softer the more sex you had? That would just be the worst thing in the world!

  • IT MATTERS
    December 26, 2013 | Permalink |

    As a guy with 8″ long, 6.5″ wide, I can tell you it DEFINITELY matters. I’ve slept with 24 women, and every one had their mind BLOWN. It takes little-to-no effort to get them off (multiple times), so you can probably imagine what it’s like with 100% effort. They all said it was the largest AND the best they’ve had–and it was clear they weren’t lying. When people online say: blah blah blah it’s too long, that’s bullshit. When it’s too long, I just DONT GO ALL THE WAY IN: being able to thrust to the perfect capacity, instead of falling short. Yeah, MAYBE small penised men can make up for it with performance, but when you combine performance AND being large, that’s a whole different monster. It was a common occurrence (over 80% of the time) for all of my exes to have 6+ orgasms for every one of mine.

    THE ONLY REASON YOU EVER READ THAT IT DOESN’T MATTER, IS BECAUSE WHATEVER PUBLICATION YOURE READING IS TRYING TO CATER TO THE VAST DEMOGRAPHIC OF 6″ PENISES…. DUH!

    100% of women I’ve slept with said it matters–mentally, just as much as physically. Over 50% of women I’ve slept with–ones that were able to become comfortable enough with me (not meaning about my size) where they aren’t self-conscious during sex–were able to orgasm within SECONDS every single time we did it. How are you even gonna’ try and compare it? Sheeple are just too ignorant to understand that 90% of the world is 5″-6″, so NOBODY publishing anything wants to upset such a huge potential readership, and women don’t want to upset potential partners, or make them self-conscious. Plus, many of them haven’t experienced a nice thick 8″ (0% of the women I slept with had).

    I’ll admit, it’s true, 6″ probably is perfectly enough for most women, and gets the job done–when/if a guy can put in excessive effort, anyway. However, you’ve got NO IDEA the way it feels to be well-endowed: the shock and surprise in their eyes, the intensity of their reactions, the pool of liquid covering 70% of the bed, hearing them scream “OMG, ITS SO BIG, ITS SO BIG, ITS SO BIG,” while they tear their nails down your back, etc. I’ve literally had a woman tell me: “You know when you TRULY fall in love the first time, and you realize all the other times you were in ‘love’ was actually just infatuation? That’s the way I feel about orgasms now after being with you.” And trust me, they may be scared of it, but it’s NEVER too big. Even if I’ve gotta’ be gentle at first–ease it in. Size DEFINITELY matters.

    Simply put: Strip steak makes a great and tasty meal, and is enough to satisfy any steak enthusiast, but you just can’t compare it to filet mignon. TRUTH.

    I’m white, BTW.

    ***PROOF: GOOGLE SEARCH: “PENIS SIZE MATTERS.” (I can’t post URL here.) There’s a plethora of recent articles corroborated by a recent study. Sorry to break the bad news, my inferior small penised men.

  • Roseann & Stephen
    December 31, 2013 | Permalink |

    It is very rare to find the right partner, and it’s even more rare to find your perfect sexual mate. I always told my husband that we were a match, like two puzzle pieces that were made to fit. We were a once in a life time match. The chances of us meeting were astronomical.

  • Joel Rivard
    January 8, 2014 | Permalink |

    I like seing these posts very much.Its picks my curiosity.From my experience.With many women,,exs,And the occasional just for fun or one night stands.I have maybe never pleased maybe a total of 3 girls ive been with.And well i can say ive slept with alot of women.The three girls that i couldent please or fully satifie never had any orgasms after there first pregnancy.Althought they enjoyed it very very much.They had parteners before me all bigger the me.Some on a huge scale some not.Most girls ive slept with said i gave them the best absolute sex theyve ever had beleive it or not.While im only 7 inches long.Not very thick maybe average idk.I have made girls have orgasms after orgasms.Most of the time not trying at all and waiting for them to get used to me.I beleive strongly in well overall health and a great physical has alot to do with it as well.The girl i am seing now had a bf with a very large member and she has hated them since.Not all girls are the same.Not all girls excersise the same,I honestly do beleive theres three types as well.The elephant*kind well i beleive have encountered before and have pleased them but not as much as i would a smaller girl.I havent had many elephant parteners cause well im never usualy attracted to them.I can def say i know that i have experienced with most girls maybe 95 percent that sex was really amazing for them and myself.Sometimes not even using all of it.Specialy the smaller ladies.And i wont lie when i say ive heard 90 percent of them say im the perfect size.While it still makes me wonder how probably amazing id be to experience to have a bigger member in the end im happy.If a girl falls in love with me for me is alot better then her wanting me for my penis.Some girls cum really easy some not so much.Size does matter i do agree.Not all women i was with wher as easy to please as others.In the end its about figuring them out and how u use it mostly and how u feel with the person too

  • Dawn
    March 12, 2014 | Permalink |

    My current bf/father of my first and only child is average (maybe a bit smaller) length. He is constantly being self conscious and making fun of himself for ‘having a small penis’. I suppose for a man his size it would seem a bit small but honestly he’s the first guy to ever give me a real orgasm. I’ve had a hand full of different partners, all of them differing in length and width. Sex with some was more comfortable than with others. So, I guess size does matter but not in the way that everyone thinks it does. The only size that matters is the size that is good for the woman and her partner. Not the size that everyone else thinks is right.
    And on the subject of the woman’s vagina being different sizes, everyone is built differently. So, it’s perfectly reasonable to think that maybe not all women’s vaginas are the same depth or width. Meaning that, once again, the preference in size is measured by the woman and her partner and not by what society says is supposedly better.

  • K
    March 16, 2014 | Permalink |

    First off, It’s an unfair comparison between penis size and breast size. Unless your spouse is into some fetish, breasts don’t play a major role in generating sexual pleasure itself; they’re mostly cosmetic things and useful for getting attention. But the penis is the organ with which you directly please a woman, so it will matter to a woman more than breasts would matter to men.

    Furthermore, why is it that in the beginning, the author says “it’s what you do in the hole that matters”, suggesting size itself isn’t all that important, but then she mentions “less than satisfactory package” and that when your size exceeds expectations, women will generally be pleasantly surprised – if what you do with it is THAT much more important, then how does a woman know if your junk is less than satisfactory before you actually get to work, unless she judges it by its size, and why would she associate bigger dongs with better sex?

    Thirdly, I never get why people laugh at a man’s smaller penis (as if it’s his fault or something) – even very decent girls I personally know giggled and laughed about small sizes -, but will call you a sexist asshole if you say a girl’s vagina is as deep as a canyon. During arguments, if you insult a man based on his presumed smaller size as being the source of his disagreements, you get high fives and congrats on the zing, but if you use an equivalent zing on a woman in a similar context, you’ll be called out on being stupid, sexist and that you ran out of arguments.

    On the issue of sex, if it is unsatisfactory for the woman, he is to blame because he
    “doesn’t think about her needs” and won’t communicate and reach out to her (so it’s HIS entire responsibility to pleasure her), and if it’s unsatisfactory for the man, it’s still his fault (so it’s HIS entire responsibility to pleasure himself) – especially if he says that sex with her is like throwing a stick down a hallway.

    Men may be selfish in bed, I’ll admit it, perhaps more men are like that than we’d care to admit, but it seems that women too are prone to shying away from taking responsibility for their own sexuality and dump it all on their partner. I also noticed a lot of the women in this comment section (as well as girls I’ve talked to in real life) tend to prefer larger members. However, the average woman, as far as I know, can please herself with a finger or two inserted down there, so why complain about the size? Maybe he’s not the only one who has to learn how to use his pecker, but it’s also her job as well, to learn how to enjoy it?

    Let’s face it: a bigger penis is more masculine than a smaller one, and thus more attractive. Read the posts in any honest comment section and the general consensus will be that bigger is better, or at least they’d expect it to be.

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