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Does Liking a Man Mean I Am Gay? No, But These Signs Might

does liking a man mean I am gay

Does liking a man mean I am gay? Having an attraction toward someone of the same sex doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gay. There are other signs that might…

“Does liking a man mean I am gay?” The only one who can answer your question is you, whether you want to or not. Hey, I am just going to say it, at some point we find that person of our own gender that is something spectacular.

There isn’t a person among us who hasn’t found someone of their own gender totally “awesome.” But, if we want to get real, there is a difference between liking someone and liking someone. And, if you question your feelings for another person, you aren’t alone.

Some people are just so damn engaging that they make us ALL question our sexuality at some point. But, if there is someone that you want to not just hang out with, but take it to the next step, then it might be a sign you’re gay. Does liking a man mean you’re gay? We both know that you already know the answer to that in your heart.

Does liking a man mean I am gay? 12 signs it might

Having a crush on another guy doesn’t make you gay, fear not. In fact, I have been married twice now, and they both had bromances while married to me. There is nothing wrong with thinking another guy is awesome and you totally hang out to avoid the wives.

But, if there isn’t a female in your train of thought, then that might give you pause. The difference between being gay and just really liking someone of your gender is pretty simple and obvious. [Read: Queer platonic relationship – 25 signs you may be in one already]

#1 You can’t stop thinking about him, I mean really can’t. If you are consumed with thoughts of this man day and night, even when sleeping, and you simply can’t seem to get him off of your mind, consider that you have something more than just friendly feelings for him.

We all get super excited to meet a new friend, but if this is more like an obsession or infatuation, then it might mean something more. [Read: 9 sure ways to tell if you’re really bi-curious]

#2 You get turned on by his smile, well, and everything about him. Getting turned on, in general, is not a good sign. There are things about ourselves that we can turn off, but sexual attraction is not one of them.

If you get a boner when he walks into a room and you get a whiff of his cologne, or simply when he comes to mind, there is something more sexual in nature going on. [Read: Coming out of the closet: 15 steps to open a new life door]

#3 He doesn’t compare to any woman you have ever met, hands down awesome. If you feel for him the way you’ve never felt for a woman, then it might mean you have gay tendencies. There is a difference between having a crush on a new friend and having a crush on a girl.

If they feel the same or is way more intense then how you feel with girls, then you should probably put some thought into what you feel.

#4 You have an attraction that goes well beyond besties If your attraction is something that you haven’t ever felt before, then it may be a sign. We all have those people in our lives that are so engaging that you just want to spend all your time with them.

But, if the initial attraction of the “new” should have worn off a long time ago, then that may be cause for concern.

#5 You fantasize about being with him. Having sexual fantasies are normal. But, if you sexually fantasize about the man you like, and they don’t at least involve a threesome, then it is a sign that it is something more than just a man crush.

There is no such thing as “normal” when it comes to sexual fantasies. But if you dream about sex with other men, or this other man, this is a sign of something bigger on the horizon. [Read: Heteroflexible: All you need to know about a rare sexuality]

#6 You are jealous of women in his life, not just because they bust up guy time. It is normal to like someone and to want to enjoy all their time. If you like them enough that you get jealous of them hanging out with other people, that signals an attraction.

If you are jealous of their relationships with women, then that probably means that a woman is standing in your way. In my book that probably means that you want the right-hand spot in his life.

#7 You are asking. The fact that you are even asking might be a clue about how you feel. If you worry that the way that you feel isn’t normal for a straight guy, then you should probably examine your feelings and come to terms with whatever lurks under the surface.

It is okay. Whatever it is that you find won’t be the end of the world, it might just be the beginning.

#8 If you are honest with yourself, it isn’t just one guy, it has been several. If you say you like one man, but this really isn’t your first rodeo and are scared to admit it, then my answer to you would be that you stop and consider your past and put all the hidden pieces together. Being honest is much easier than being who everyone else wants you to be. [Read: 15 ways to discover self-love and happiness]

#9 Your thoughts about him go beyond just hanging out. If you envision yourself doing more than just hanging out playing video games, then that isn’t a completely normal heterosexual feeling. If you have thoughts of intimacy, then, yes, that might mean you are gay.

#10 It doesn’t feel like just another early friendship, this feels more like your first love. If it feels like love, then it probably is. What is that old saying, if it walks like a duck and quacks like one… it is probably gay.

#11 If he asked you to experiment you wouldn’t be opposed to it. Imagine a scenario where he came to you and asked you to take it one step further. Would you be repulsed or consider it?

If you’d consider it, then it might be time to take the same consideration into your situation and find out if you have homosexual feelings. [Read: How to know if you are gay: All the signs you can’t ignore]

#12 You are ashamed about your feelings. There is a reason why you are researching this question. Deep down you worry your feelings for this man might signal something bigger lurking underneath. Most often having a “man crush” means nothing more than you just find someone in your life engaging.

They hit a nerve that is more like a spark, and it says nothing about your sexuality. But, if you think about taking it one step further, or see the potential to, then it might be something to investigate.

The thing is that sooner or later you must come to terms. And, if this is someone you can see yourself with, then maybe now is the time.

You only get one go around in life. The only one you have an obligation to make happy is yourself. If you see someone from the same sex filling that gap, then stop worrying about the label and just take a leap of faith.

[Read: Romantic orientation: Just how many different kinds are there?]

Does liking a man mean you’re gay? Remember, be who you are no matter what that means for your future. Who knows, it might just be your lifesaving moment of enlightenment and acceptance.

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Julie Keating
Julie Keating

A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...

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