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Do You Have a Mangina, Pussy? These 30 Things Scream Yes

mangina

I know, guys can be so mean! If you are acting like a girl, other guys may ask if you have a mangina. Unfortunately, that is not a term of endearment.

Okay, I know this feature is going to be absurdly politically incorrect, but I don’t think there is any other way to discuss the label mangina. There are going to be some women offended because it has a tendency to have a negative connotation. The men who have been asked if he has one is going to be one even more so, so if you are easily put off… you may want to read another feature.

The truth is, men and women were created differently for a reason, a good reason. We are supposed to be different to help the human species survive. If men were supposed to bear children, we would have become extinct a long time ago. If women were supposed to be hunters, we’d all starve. So, women, take heart, mangina has nothing to do with anything lacking in your female parts.

You know how I know you have a mangina? 30 reasons you may be suspect

Men, if you have been asked if you have a mangina, it may be time to “man up.” Not a term of endearment, it means you are acting like a girl. There are reasons someone might think you have a mangina…

#1 You cry at movies. Every once in a while, something strikes a nerve with you in a movie, like having a bad relationship with your dad or breaking up with someone. But if you are in the movie theater crying like a baby because Bambi’s mom got shot, you likely have a mangina. [Read: Where are the studs? Feminizing men kills our society]

#2 You cry at everything. Whoever said it is okay for a guy to cry, meant it is okay for a guy to cry at home, alone, when no one else is looking, and something devastating happens. If you cry at a song that reminds you of your ex, you just may have one.

#3 You get butt hurt every time someone makes fun of you. If you can’t take a joke, get over yourself. Men are brutal to one another and if you have made it this far getting hurt every time that someone says something unkind, kudos. If you react and let them know by showing your sensitivity, then that is grounds for questioning.

#4 You are overly emotional. If you act like it is that time of the month, once a month, or are just downright moody, then you may have too much estrogen in your body. It is okay to have some feelings, but men are supposed to keep them to themselves, especially around other men.

#5 You care too much about what you look like. If you care more about what you look like than your girlfriend, then you may just have a mangina. Men aren’t supposed to get all caught up in looking good, get over it.

#6 You take too long to get ready to go out. If you aren’t ready to go when everyone wants to head out because you haven’t finished your mascara yet, you are likely going to be called out for having a mangina. [Read: Why does your girlfriend hate you? 10 questions to find out]

#7 You’re fragile and get hurt often. If you are too fragile to be singled out and so fragile no one can tell you when you are wrong, it may be time to “man up.” Men are supposed to take being called nicknames like “fatty” or “porker” with a grain of salt and not break over it.

#8 You pout. If you pout when you don’t get your way or someone says something you don’t like, then you are behaving like a girl. News flash, no one cares when you. In fact, they probably make you mad because they like to see and make fun of you pouting. Whatever the problem is, let it go.

#9 You hold grudges. Guys, by definition, are supposed to let things roll off of their backs. If you are holding a grudge about one of your friends not paying you back two years ago, that means you have a mangina. Be a man and handle it another way, borrow money from him and don’t pay it back.

#10 You’re incredibly moody. If you are Doctor Heckle one minute and Mr. Hyde the next, people probably assume you have your period, which would mean you have a mangina. Try being a little more even keeled, so people know where you are coming from and stop acting like a premenstrual chick.

#11 You drink things like “cosmopolitans,” “margaritas,” and tequila sunrises.” Happy hour doesn’t include a pina colada and a little umbrella when you are a real man. It is okay to have a couple of fruity shots to celebrate something big, or when doing them with girls, but leave the fru-fru drinks for your lady friends. [Read: Party hours: What your favorite drink says about you]

#12 You take your ball and go home when you don’t win. Okay, technically this means you are a two-year-old, but women have to be right, or they throw a hissy fit. Instead of stamping your feet and throwing your arms around, how about you just deal with it and stop acting so immature.

#13 You can’t take a joke. Only women are supposed to have soft skin. If your feelings are like the skin from a baby’s tender bottom, then you need to toughen up a bit. Guys who have a mangina can’t take anyone taunting them or making fun. Instead of pouting about it, think up a clever retort!

#14 You are way too sensitive. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive with your girlfriend when she comes to you with a problem, but don’t treat other guys with a tender, soft touch. Being sensitive has a time or a place, but if you are throwing it all around then you best stop or everyone thinks you have a mangina.

#15 You let your girlfriend push you around. We all get whipped once in a while, but if you are walking around the mall with her purse draped over your shoulder or waiting around for her to show up two hours late, you are pussy. Which is the other word for vagina, which makes you a mangina, get it?

#16 You let anyone push you around. Being pushed around shouldn’t be done by your girlfriend or anyone else, besides maybe your boss and your mom. Only because, well, your mom is your mom and your boss will fire you.

#17 You always proceed with caution. If you have to calculate the distance it takes to stop from zero to 60 before you open up the car accelerator you may just not have the right junk, if you know what I mean. Men are supposed to be risk-takers, throw caution to the wind, and well, do stupid things without thinking.

#18 You’re scared of heights, the dark, and horror films. Add to the list you don’t like spiders, snakes, or creepy-crawling things, and you have all the qualities.

#19 You think video games are a waste of time. Okay, Captain Obvious, if you want to tell the guys video games are a waste of time and not worth money or being up until two am, keep it to yourself. It just makes you sound dumb.

#20 You break up with your friends when you get mad. Real guys have the same friends since they were in pre-k. You know why? Because they don’t ever leave a man behind, take anything too seriously, and don’t have enough energy or concern to break up with anyone. If you have a long list of friends you left behind, then you put too much weight and thought into your friendship.

#21 You turn down a dare. This one speaks for itself. Truth or dare? You always pick dare if you are a guy’s guy.

#22 You still listen to your mom. We all tell our mom what she wants to hear, but we rarely listen to her. If you can’t make a move unless your mommy says so, then maybe you should let her dress you up in a skirt and bow and send you off to kindergarten again. [Read: Dating feminine men: Is it a boom or bust?]

#23 You have to check with your girlfriend before making plans. No guy without a mangina lets his girlfriend dictate what he is going to do every weekend. It is okay if she makes special plans once in a while, but if you can’t ever do what you want then that is your fault, and it kind of makes you a puss.

#24 Things are too heavy for you. We aren’t all weight lifters, but unless you have a mangina you are going to try to lift something and bust a vertebra before you admit it is too heavy for you. [Read: 10 things to do to become manlier, but not aggressive]

#25 You are way into trends. If you spend more time at the mall than your girlfriend trying things on to see if your butt looks good in a pair of jeans, you may want to check your pants. Guys are supposed to throw something on, in the dark, that is dirty…

#26 You drive a smart car. No guy with balls puts himself in a smart car and drives around town just to save gas. Diesel F350 all the way. [Read: What makes a man metrosexual?]

#27 You can’t take a joke. Get over yourself, Alice. Being the butt of a joke just means you get to sit and think about something to retaliate. If men didn’t make fun of one another what else would guys have to do late at night?

#28 You are afraid to ask the girl you like out. No one wants to be rejected, but if you have been in the friend zone for years and pining away after some girl because you are too scared of rejection then grow a pair and ask her out. What is the worst thing that can happen? If you don’t, it isn’t like she can take your manhood… you don’t have it. [Read: 15 things women look for in a man before falling for him]

#29 You are into wine tasting. If you are into wine tasting, you may as well put your pinky up when you drink your afternoon tea. Unless you are a millionaire and bored with your disposable income, stick to Jack, Jack.

#30 You get things like perms, your hair colored or your eyebrows waxed. Ahem… S-A-L-O-N spells mangina. If you can’t find a barber to make your hair look pretty then forget it, shave it off and call it a day.

[Read: Defining true masculinity: What does it mean to be a man?]

Mangina is not a term of endearment. It is like calling someone a pussy, only worse because you are saying he has one. If you don’t want someone questioning your manhood again, try to stay away from doing these 30 things.

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Julie Keating
Julie Keating

A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...

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