No idea if the girl you’ve been crushing on has a boyfriend or not? Follow these clues to find out if she’s available to date you. By Danielle Anne Suleik
Unless the girl you’re pining for is your Facebook friend with a public relationship status, it’s almost impossible to tell whether she’s dating someone or not. If you’re too shy to ask her point-blank for fear of getting rejected, we have a few ways that can help you decipher whether she’s single or taken.
The only people who are obviously not single are the ones walking around sporting diamond rings or the ones that have another human being strapped to their arms. Aside from that, you can hardly tell if a girl is single or not.
Some girls, on the other hand, may have that lovey-dovey glow, but that could be attributed to a good day at the gym or a palm-full of vitamins. Girls, being girls and all, have a certain je ne sais quoi wafting around them. Unfortunately for you, that same air of mystery can make it hard to know whether they’re waiting for their boyfriend or not.
So, why don’t you just ask her?
Even though men have been programmed to make the first move since the Stone Ages, some guys find it hard to go up to a girl just to say hi. They might be shy, but most of the time, they’re just afraid of getting rejected.
That’s understandable, because people usually assume that attractive women are spoken for. Why bother asking, when you know you’re just going to get rejected, right? But that shouldn’t be the case for everyone. You should always take a risk when it comes to the person you like, because staying put and watching from the sidelines won’t get you anywhere.
Sometimes, a girl may come off as intimidating. This also makes it harder for a guy to approach her. If she’s single, you’ll never know how she’ll react. If she does have a boyfriend, you might be too afraid to ask her because of her closed-off demeanor.
Lastly, guys just want to cover all their bases. They’d rather know what they’re dealing with before they make a move. It’s called strategizing. Without a white horse and shining armor, the best thing you can do is prepare a game plan for when you finally get the guts to ask a girl out. If you know whether she’s single or not, the chances of successfully asking her out will be higher. [Read: Are girls into shy guys who don’t make the first move?]
The deal breakers
Yes, there are methods to help you determine whether the girl you like is spoken for or not. However, there are unforeseen factors that can mess these up.
#1 She’s in a long-distance relationship. Just because she looks single and exhibits all the signs of being single, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t a guy out there waiting for her. He could be on the other side of town or the other side of the world. Just because you can’t see him, doesn’t mean that he’s not there. [Read: Are you into a girl who’s into someone else?]
#2 She’s a cheater. Cheating women make a point of broadcasting their availability. Don’t be fooled by this type of woman. Nobody wins in this situation, no matter how badly you want her.
#3 She’s in an open relationship. Women in open relationships technically aren’t single. They are dateable, but unless they’re willing to let go of the other guy, you will never have her all to yourself.
So, is she single or not?
Sadly, there’s no specific trait that can confirm a person’s status. People in relationships don’t have their own language, nor do they have an exclusive dress code. You’ll just have to settle for the most likely tells like the ones mentioned below.
#1 She looks made up in a neutral setting. If a girl goes full-on Glamazon just for a coffee run, it’s pretty likely that she made the extra effort to look like she’s on her way to a premiere. The verdict being that she likes looking her best, because she’s hoping to get noticed by the adorable strangers she might run into.
#2 She glances at men who pass by 80% of the time. Women who are in a relationship do not feel the need to scope out the selection of eligible bachelors within the vicinity. The best case scenario would be that she’s appreciative of guys because she’s not seeing anyone. The worst case scenario would be that she’s a little too interested in other men while her boyfriend’s in the restroom.
#3 She’s always with her friends. If you have a crush on the girl who always shares the same coffee shop as you, there will come a point when she brings her boyfriend along. If she’s single, she will always hang out with the same platonic-looking group of friends whenever you see her.
#4 She tends to people-watch. If the girl you like isn’t showing any signs of flirting with other men in places where people regularly get together, you can still find out if she’s single just by noticing how she reacts to people. Girls who have boyfriends tend to ignore other people when they’re out with their friends. Single girls want to meet people, hence, the people-watching.
#5 She doesn’t check her phone all the time. If a girl has a boyfriend, it’s highly likely that they’d be in contact regularly. Some girls just don’t like checking their phone all the time, even if they do have a boyfriend, but the probability of that is very, very slim.
Knowing without asking
So, you’ve established that she looks single. But is she really? When asking a girl directly if she’s single, you are in effect asking her is she would like not to be. Some guys find this tacky, while most girls find it lacking any sort of pre-emptive seduction factor. It seems businesslike and devoid of the necessary nuisances of modern courtship, because she already knows what the guy wants from her.
Make it a little interesting by not asking her if she’s single and just read the signs that she is indeed interested in exploring this new-found connection.
#1 She makes eye contact. If she wants to talk to you, she will be more than willing to look at you. Even if she’s not making direct eye contact, her face will be angled towards you in anticipation for the inevitable locking of gazes. [Read: 10 effective eye flirting moves]
#2 She smiles at you. If she doesn’t do this immediately, make the first move and show her those pearly whites. A girl who is single and interested is more likely to smile back and keep eye contact, while a girl who has a boyfriend will smile awkwardly and turn away – for good. There are no look-backs with this one.
#4 She doesn’t check to look around when you start talking to her. If she does this, she might be waiting for her boyfriend to show up. If she’s waiting for a friend, it still doesn’t look like a good sign. She’s probably checking to see if someone can save her from talking to you.
#5 She doesn’t check her phone while talking to you. If she does, she’s either scared that her boyfriend is going to call or she’s not interested in talking to you. Either way, you lose.
It’s not easy to know whether a person is single just by looking at them, but it is possible. It’s not a definite confirmation, but it will help you make the first move. You will never know if you have a chance at the girl you like if you don’t go up to her and say, “Hi.”
Even the little bit of information you get from observing your crush from a distance will make your transition from stranger to acquaintance much easier. Knowing the signs that she’s single will boost your confidence and finally allow you to walk up to your crush and get to know her.
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Those who can’t do, teach. I can neither do nor teach as well as others, but I can try. Aside from being a writer, I am also a physical therapist. My dream is...