15 Signs She’s Leading You On and Taking You Nowhere!

signs she's leading you on

Are you falling for a girl who’s giving you mixed signals? Read these 15 foxy signs she’s leading you on and taking you nowhere. And escape her clutches!

What do you do when a girl shows interest in you, dates you, and still doesn’t want to call you her boyfriend?

That’s a rather big predicament, isn’t it?

Falling in love is supposed to be a happy experience, not a confusing one.

But every now and then, there comes a time when you unintentionally fall in love with a girl who seems right, but is completely wrong for you.

[Read: 12 easy signs to know just how much a girl likes you]

Are you in love with a girl who blows hot and cold, who behaves like your girlfriend at times and snubs you like you’re a nobody at other times when she doesn’t need you?

You’re probably giving your heart away to a girl who could just be toying with you, because she feels like it!

[Read: How to read mixed signals from a girl and turn it into love]

Why do some girls just lead guys on?

If you’re in a complicated relationship with a girl who behaves like your girlfriend, but doesn’t want to date you, you’re definitely getting led on.

Do you wonder why a few girls behave this way?

The reasons could be plenty.

But almost always, the girl who’s leading you on probably likes you, but she needs more time to make up her mind about whether she really wants to date you. She may just be confused right now. [Read: 18 easy failproof ways to get a girl to fall in love with you]

A few girls could lead a guy on because they want some drama in their own lives, or because they like getting a guy’s attention. It makes them feel better about themselves.

Or in some circumstances, the girl who’s giving you mixed signals and leading you on could really like you, but she may be a people pleaser or an attention whore who’s too worried what her friends may think of you *because she assumes you’re not good enough to show off to her friends* [Read: 16 attention whore signs to watch out for!]

Some people are just too worried about the world and what people think, and their happiness depends more on what others say and think than what really matters to them or what they need. [Read: 20 signs to recognize a people pleaser when you see one]

Are you reading the signs wrong?

Now as much all guys would love to bitch about girls or grumble about how fickle a few girls are, there is still a pretty big chance that the girl you like isn’t leading you on at all!

Perhaps, she really likes you as a friend and is just being friendly with you because she feels comfortable around you. Girls are a lot more touchy feely than guys, and there’s a very good chance that you may be misunderstanding that friendly touch for a flirty touch. After all, there’s only a veiled line separating flirty friends and mixed signals.

And if you start falling for a friend, you may assume she likes you back too because in your mind, that’s what you’re secretly hoping for. [Read: How to tell a friend you love her without losing her]

15 signs she’s just leading you on

If you’re convinced the girl who’s messing with your mind and your heart isn’t just being friendly, and is actually trying to lead you on, read these 15 signs she’s leading you on.

It’s very easy to pinpoint a girl who’s just toying with your heart. And if you do see these signs, walk away before it’s too late!

#1 The relationship with no name. She flirts with you, goes out on dates with you, but doesn’t give the relationship a name. Both of you may be intensely attracted to each other, but she still calls you a good friend even as all your friends wonder what’s going on.

#2 She makes out with you. She may make out with you, or she may cuddle and cozy up with you now and then. But how far things go in bed or whether both of you would even make out on a date completely depends on her mood and her plans. You’re just happy with the scraps she throws depending on how she feels at a particular moment. [Read: 15 reasons why nice guys finish last all the time!]

#3 It’s a secret relationship. A few of her friends may know both of you are close, or are on the verge of dating, but none of her friends have any idea that something’s even going on between the both of you. It’s a secret relationship and she wants to keep it that way.

#4 She’s distant. She’s distant and aloof when you get clingy or try to trail her all the time. When you give her a lot of attention, she tries to keep her distance from you.

#5 And then she wants to be closer. When you give her the space because she’s being distant, she immediately changes her behavior and starts craving for your attention when you back away. She tries to keep in touch with you and calls you often just to win your attention back. [Read: How to avoid the friend zone and make a girl desire you]

#6 She hasn’t been in too many relationships. She claims to have dated very few guys. She probably tells you she’s been in very few relationships too. But that’s probably because she leads on most guys she dates and doesn’t like calling them her ex boyfriends. If you know she’s dated a particular guy before and she claims she never dated that guy, but they were just friends, she’s definitely leading you on too!

#7 She makes herself appear helpless. She convinces you that you’re very important to her and that she needs you. She makes herself appear weak and helpless without your advice and emotional support. She tells you she needs you, and that she’s very close to you, and she doesn’t know what she’d do without you in her life.

#8 She blows hot and cold. She’s friendly and close for several days or weeks, and all of a sudden, she ignores you and won’t have time for you again. You see this happening pretty frequently, where she ignores you when she’s getting a lot of attention from other guys. [Read: The real reason behind why girls are so fickle about guys]

#9 She needs you when she’s lonely. She comes to you only when she’s lonely. She doesn’t remember you or care about you when she’s having fun. But when she’s bored or alone, she behaves like she misses you so much and can’t stop thinking about you. And you need to make time for her.

#10 Flirty phone conversations. There’s more intimacy over the phone than in person. She may not always throw herself at you when both of you meet up in person. But she’s always warm and flirty over the phone, or while texting each other. She may even get naughty over the phone or have phone sex with you. [Read: 20 dirty questions to ask a girl and make her wet]

#11 She wants you completely. She hates it when you give another girl any attention. She would even try to win your heart back and woo you with loving or seductive words when you start falling for another girl.

#12 She may fall for another guy. When a girl is leading you on, she knows you’d behave like a lost puppy and trail her even if she likes another guy. This girl who’s leading you on may tell you about all the guys who are giving her attention, and she may even tell you about a guy she’s falling for. It’s completely acceptable for her to like another guy, but when you do the same or talk about another girl, she pretends like she’s not interested in hearing what you have to say.

#13 She hooks up. She may date another guy and still give you her attention, which makes you feel special, and confused at the same time. Eventually, you don’t care whether she’s another guy’s girlfriend, you just want her attention and her love. [Read: Is a girl with a boyfriend flirting with you?]

#14 She doesn’t want to acknowledge that you like her. She’s very evasive when it comes to talking about your feelings. Every time you tell her that you love her or want to date her exclusively, she’d just smile or change the subject. Or in the worst case, she may tell you she can’t think of you as anything more than a friend. But she’d still lean in, wrap her arms around you and kiss you to make you feel better!

#15 She tells you she loves you. You almost believe you’re in a relationship with her already. She may tell you that she loves you and needs you, and yet, she doesn’t behave like your girlfriend. She blows hot and cold, and she just expects you to cater to her whims and fancies as and when she needs your attention. [Read: 12 secrets you need to know about love hate relationships]

A girl who’s leading you on may be using you!

If you’re in a complicated relationship with a girl who’s just leading you on, you need to realize that her subtle manipulation tactics are just screwing your mind. She’s playing you and you’re falling for all her tricks because your love for her clouds your judgment.

Even if do you confront her, or give her an ultimatum to date you or stop talking to you, she may break down or tell you that she really likes you, but she just needs more time to sort the confusions in her mind. [Read: 12 signs a girl is just using you for all the wrong reasons]

What you need to do if a girl is leading you on?

Think about what you really want for yourself. Of course, it feels really nice to hear from her and hear the sweet and sexy things she says, but you do know deep inside that all this is going nowhere. Eventually, she may just give you the cold shoulder or date someone else.

Once you’re stuck in the clutches of a girl who leads you on, you have no choice. You screw your mind and obsess about where the relationship is going. You’re confused and frustrated, annoyed and angry, and yet, you can’t leave her or walk away from her because she knows just what to say and do to dig her nails deeper into your heart. [Read: How to get over a girl who doesn’t really like you back]

And every time you try to restrain yourself from getting in touch with her, or try to avoid falling in love with her, she’d try everything to make you lose your resolve and stay in love with her.

This girl who leads you on is like an addiction you can’t get rid of. And the only way to end this miserable excuse of a relationship is by picking a fight with her that’ll make her dislike you.

Pick a fight and say something that’ll hurt her ego, which would bring out her inner monster and make her hate you. Girls who love leading guys on have fragile egos, and when you drive a stake into her weak ego, she’d hate you for it. And there’s a big chance that she’d walk away from you for good.

Of course, you’ll feel miserable for letting her get away from you. But you do know the relationship was a lost cause already, don’t you?

[Read: How to let go of the girl you love by hating her]

Use these 15 signs to find out if a girl is leading you on. And if you do see these traits in a girl who’s blowing hot and cold with you, get away as fast as you can, however you can! If you hold on to the relationship any longer, it may just be too darn late and too darn hard.

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Vin Serai
Vin Serai
A proponent of chivalry and romance, Vin Serai sees himself as a gregarious gentleman with an active imagination, who still manages to spend more time living in...

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28 thoughts on “15 Signs She’s Leading You On and Taking You Nowhere!”

  1. Odo Babatunde Gabriel says:

    This is so good, I love it! I also know it’s gonna help me a lot.

  2. Mary says:

    wow this sounds sooooo like my ex boyfriend xD good thing i dumped him when he cheated < yes im a girl.

  3. dilip says:

    This is exactly word to word what is happening with me since last 8 months…I could just not beleive when i was reading this , as if i had somehow written is myself..its hard to accept but this is what is happening with me!!!

    thanks for posting this but i doubt that the solution you gave will work i mean fight and say something to hurt her ego?

  4. Matt says:

    This is happening to me right now and has been happening to me over the past year. Thanks for the advice.

  5. DAN13L says:

    This is exactly what happened to my three years ago. I resolved it the exact same way as the advice here. It actually works. The sad thing is that if you fell hard for this type of girl, you still feel hurt after many years but at least you manned up in the end.

  6. Darn it says:

    Wow this describes this girl I used to crush on. She did 1,3,4,5,6,8,9,10 and 14. Couldn’t take it anymore so Ignored her calls and never spoke to her for a year now. I felt bad for doing this but it was going no where anyway!

  7. vegeta says:

    Im in the situation now…she is engaged and says she loves me and did everything and now wants to be friends..if I say no its drama everyday

  8. Sam says:

    Incredible.. I did not think a similar situation existed out here, and I could recognize almost every point above.

    A girl has been doing that to me for a long time now, and while she said she couldn’t date me anymore since “im such a valuable friend”, she has been texting me like crazy and petting me once I went cold to get my distance. A couple of days she then told me she had been dating a semi-friend of mine for a while (while flirting with me), and that on a dinner date with wine that I had arranged for us (after she insisted on it). What to do? Right now I’m going nuts, and I feel so stupid and used. Please help..

  9. Joe says:

    This has been happening to me for the past 8 months. She talks about me to her parents and friends They say were like an old married couple but this is exaxtly how she treats the relationship and this is exaxtly how I feel, really confused. We just recently hooked up for the first time after a night where she called me crying to come over to her but then she says she doesn’t want me to get the wrong idea and started being distant the next few days. It sucks and I don’t think I can end it. When I ignore her completely she gets really upset and I just feel bad, but when I get too clingy she starts to act different. God bless anyone in this situation we all need a Xanax lol

  10. Mark says:

    Had one of these that I fell to hard to fast for and all she was doing was playing me. As this was going on before things got worse we were looking at starting a business with her sister. She seemed then to play the both of us about the business. The sister was dropping subtle hints about her character and eventually I did not go through with the venture.

    The technique she used on me was at first say I am into you, blah, blah, blah. But later start to be unsure, cold/hot, manipulative. Money is her main motive. I held back what I really had as a test. She jumped ship for a guy that visibly made lots of cash. That lasted for a few weeks and he must have seen the signs quickly. Then she attempted to see if she could get back with me. Fat chance.

    In the business scenario with me and her sis. She used the same technique. I will go into business with you. I am totally into this. When her sister was informed and wasn’t sure about me because she did not know me, she said she would not go in without me. Then again she started with the “i am in, i am out” routine several times. This even after we broke up. Why stay with her for business after the break up. Well I thought she was just weird because of recently signing divorce papers … after 2 years being separated. She also claimed to be a business type and good at it. Well that turned out not to be the case. She was just an operator that wanted an easy ride. In when the times are good and not to interested in put in much effort.

    Anyway, her strategy changed a bit with the new guy she has been with for over a year. She started off by hiding the fact that they where dating from the crowds we all socialize with for two months. Testing him out on the sly and basically giving him no respect. He took it probably because of her beauty. A fool I know. Hope he figures out that she really is just looking for an early retirement plan.

    Anyway, here is what you do. DO NOT FORGIVE OR ACCEPT … at least not right away if ever!

    Get your revenge or payback but do it right. There are plenty of good advice article on the web how to do this. Easiest way is to spread the word. Do not lie. Do not slander. Just tell the story of what happened in full. It will speak for itself. You will get some temporary satisfaction but more importantly you will let others know not to mess with you and be their doormat. Also, it will send a warning to others about this person.

    How about forgiveness. Well with some it helps with others it will make them feel worse afterwards. If you do revenge and I recommend you do then you can do forgiveness afterwards. In any case, the forgiveness is always conditional. You do not forgive unless you get something worthwhile out of it. In fact the other party will not forgive unless they get something out of it as well. So conditions could be such were it is worthwhile for both parties to really forgive and build trust. However, if there are no conditions like that then forget forgiveness and just accept and move on.

  11. Jack says:

    I’ve never seen something so close descriptive of my situation. This girl has been hot and cold for 2 YEARS. Why I’m drawn to her is beyond me. But my body has an inclination towards her because I know that she is the only girl i’ve had this kind of bonding with. I’m scared to lose her because she’s absolutely perfect and everyone says it. But I know that this type of girl is dangerous. I’m so confused and just want to focus on my classes but she always reels me back in with her way of words and spontaneous embraces. Someone help me with some advice because I know this can only end badly but my body won’t give it up.

  12. me says:

    This is a painfully accurate description of what I am going through with a girl right now.
    When we started going out, I found she has a boyfriend after falling for her. When she eventually told me, she claimed that she was leaving him very soon- for the way he treated her with a cold shoulder.

    It’s half a year now- she hasn’t left him officially.
    There have been several excuses that has not happened. Several lies to extend the period.
    Now she decided to leave it unresolved- by not calling the guy.
    He doesn’t know she’s been going out with me for so long.
    The truth is that I am pretty sure that she will keep me a secret from him in order to keep being in a relationship with him too- however lacking that relationship is. She is perfectly happy with her secrets and wants them to stay that way. At the other hand- I absolutely despise secrets and behavior that causes secrets to accumulate.

    She claims they are not talking to each other and thats how its going to end. But when I ask her- what if he calls? She has no idea what to answer. Every time I bring it up- crying and manipulation ensues. She desperately wants to keep me a secret from him and her friends, even though we have been going out for so long.

    To top it all, She is doing almost ALL of the points in this article. Constantly talks about other guys she finds attractive too. It is doomed, I just need some time to come to terms with it. I can see now – she is dangerous and there is probably a reason the others before me have left her. She is just putting all the blame on them.

    it’s even possible that the guy before me treated her that way because she did the same stuff to him. It was not just him being distant. It was her being a terrible lover.
    His way of getting out of it was to simply stop calling her or trying to explain whats wrong. He knew very well that she will continue to manipulate her way out of issues and never change. So he probably got tired and gave up on the drama altogether.

    The truth is that it is very difficult to move on. It is like having a coke addiction. My mind is telling me its all bullshit. My heart is telling me to not give up and call her. Apologize for all the valid issues I have in this relationship – for making her cry. Let her lead me on for a bit longer, hoping something will ever change.

  13. B. says:

    What if two people are playing this same evasive and then mixed signals game? Is it insecurity, lack of trust, or not really wanting to be together? There’s this guy I’m crazy about, but I do these things to preserve myself. I cannot be with him, he’s married, and even though he flirts with me as well, I know it’s just a pasttime thing, that he’d never risk his ongoing relationship to be with me. We’ve never made out and nothing like that, but there is some ongoing weird flirt thing that I’m afraid will lead to nowhere for a whole lot of reasons.

    I have to take care of myself, right? I made up my mind that it won’t cross the friendship sign unless he’s single. But I end up showing mixed signals because at the same time I want him to know I like him.

    It’s just so hard when I get to see him, I try to think we’re just friends and profession colleagues, but there’s something strong that stirs up in me. I get aroused, I want to get close to him, but the environment and the circumstances forbid. He gets somewhat moved too, but I can see he’s always leading things on so it fits his agenda and needs and boundaries. And I get hurt and act evasive because I’m never fucking sure of what’s going on.

  14. B. says:

    Actually this is exactly like a friend of mine I used to make out with sometimes. Of course I never got really into him because I saw through it since the beginning, but these signs describe him almost perfectly!!! As would any selfish person, I guess.
    He used to come up to me when he was lonely and tell me he loved me and ask why I had disappeared. But as soon as I started giving him attention and talking about myself and asking about him, it just seemed unimportant and he’d go away, or even talk about another girl or bring her to my house without saying anything, when he was the only one invited.
    As some enraged women say here in Brazil, “homenzinho de merda” -“shitty little guy”.

  15. andyroo says:

    HA HA!
    This must have been written by someone whos endured this kind of head torture.
    I remember when I was 18, for a year I was madly in love with a girl 5 years older. We became very very close, and she knew I loved her but she blew hot and cold continually. Nearly everything mentioned in these signs she did. She talked about guys she fancied, and after she got them interested in her, she soon dumped them, usually by cuddling up to me before their very eyes. I was always happy confused and heartbroken in an endless continuing cycle of love and head torture initiated by an evil sadistic cupid who hated me. She would push me away, so I’d distance my self and leave her alone, then she’d come to me all down and saying she felt so vulnerable, and I wanted to take her in my arms. After a year I was done, and had to tell myself she was the devil woman that sir cliff richard sung about. It was the only way I could get her out of my head.
    The interesting thing is, I found that she really did love me. She had come to love me as a very close friend, and me being in love with her made her feel very special. So basically I turned her into a dog on heat for a year, and she soaked up all my love and was struggling to find someone special to let it all out on, hence feeling vulnerable. No one was found worthy for her. Then all of a sudden I was drained of all of my essence like one of those podlings in the dark crystal. A person can’t go on forever giving love and receiving none in return, just the occasional cuddle time and loving gestures.
    I came to find out later that I made her feel very special, because no one had ever loved her like I did. She even wanted to leave her job and follow me to the company I worked at. And over a period of a couple of years later she twice sought me out and very intimately wanted me to hook up with her. Because I couldn’t face the same possible mess I declined her, but today I wonder if she came to see me as the one for her, or if she just wanted more attention. I’ll never know.
    If you guys are going through this cruel scenario right now, if your love is genuine, be patient, give her space, show her respect, don’t get mad, love her with all your heart, and if she will not see you as anything other than a friend, back off and be a friend. Then see what happens.

  16. luke fiorello says:

    Wow its been like a huge mind fuck for only a week but I’m so glad I came across this. It explains her to the dot it’s actually quit impressive. I’m going the revenge root and I already feel better just saying it to her face, people this heartless don’t deserve a person all they deserve is a small white room with a mirror .

  17. Skeeter says:

    Glad I came across this . . . Each point mentioned is so true !
    What bothers me the most , is that I experienced all of the above mentioned 7 years ago and breaking with her tore me apart. Took me years to get over her then just last year she emailed me.We ended up being together again until recently – the on off relationship – sex only when she wanted to – told me she wasn’t into sex. This is coming from a girl that smoked my pole the first time alone. When drunk she turns into a slut. A gluten for punishment I am. Glad she’s out of my life – FOR GOOD !

  18. nick says:

    im wonderin some of these signs im seein but my relationship is different. I have been seein my best friend of 2yrs for about 3 months but she is married and she said we was gonna leave him but hasnt yet. Up till 2 weeks ago we would hand out and mess around alot. but now she says she not disrespectin him anymore and within 2 week she is gettin a div. She keeps tellin me we are fine and sometimes thats she loves me but not like she did before. I love her with all my heart and will do anything for her. They say to marry your bestest of best friends and she is all that we use to be so close and we kno everything about each other but in the last week it seems that we are not that close anymore. Any help would be nice im afraid of losein the best thing in my life

  19. marcos says:

    This is my exact relationship for the past 3 years on and off I just can’t get away but after this and her matching 14 of the 15 I think it will really help and I can finally find myself again

  20. Wess says:

    I’m in a relationship like this right now. Hot ,Cold. This woman is to put it blunt super sexy but a real head case. She’s smart knows what she’s doing and has me twisted. lol It’s funny because I’m a bigger head case than she is. This is going to be one heck of a ride. It has been for 8 months. I could be the one that stabs her in the heart but I think I’ll play the game to the bitter end… After all men do the same thing. I’ll be with her and date too. Didn’t want it like this. I do love her fact is I am madly in love with her but when confronted with the game of hot, cold I can only do one thing. Let the games begin… I’ll be standing with my feet on solid ground not sinking sand when all is said and done… I heard another guy in here say man up. I think that’s good advise if you yourself don’t run hot cold. Nut up and walk away but if you are strong enough to take what’s being handed to you then enjoy the ride but don’t let her take you to a place that leaves you an emotional wreck for life. You have choice’s .. You can end it and walk and search for someone else or can enjoy the time the way it is and search for someone else. I prefer to do what is being done / talked about. There are plenty of fish in the ocean. I like swimming in deep water so dark there is no light. When I am ready I will surface. Stay strong. Great read. I enjoyed it….

  21. Dollie says:

    One thing NOT posted as an answer is that she is just looking for a friend with benefits. Not looking for a real relationship, but not wanting to screw every guy in town either. Which I guess is why she wouldn’t call it a relationship, and the guy would feel led on.

  22. John says:

    Oh f*ck….This really describes my current situation right now…
    I really am on the hook, dang and I just saw an episode on HIMYM and yeah, great day, LOL.

    Really a great read. Thanks mate 🙂

  23. Patrick says:

    This article really helped me see things clearly in my own situation. A situation to which I had been completely oblivious. I greatly appreciate you taking the time to write this.

  24. Sam says:

    There was this girl that I had a really big crush on all throughout her senior year and I was a junior. we became really good friends. Isn’t being invited to a graduation party mean that? Anyways, I had thought about her all summer and a friend of mine just said go for it before she leaves. Girls dig a guy who makes the first move. Well i didn’t but when she came home from her college break i asked her to dinner and a movie at the local mall. we saw the movie “SAW”. Okay, so i ain’t the most experienced dater or move maker but i extended my hand to hold hers during the move and she took it. Well we had a nice conversation a good time and told each other we’d chill later on because she was home for a while. Well, the next week, a mutual friend told her that I had feelings for her, so i figured i might as well tell her myself because she already knows. So actually she called and asked if I wanted to come over and watch “Lost”, she had just gotten her wisdom teeth out. So after the movie, I was like you know “I didn’t ask your friend to tell you I liked u but yeah that’s about the size of it. I really like you”, she responded I like hanging out with you too. Well, from that point in her room it was a little awkward and I soon left. We went out to a movie perhaps two weeks later, at one point I asked her if she reciprocated my feelings, she told me that she had actually gotten back with her old boyfriend from her junior year and that she and I were just friends, I was taken aback but who wouldn’t? Well we saw the movie and soon later she left for college. After I told what happened to two of my close girls friends they both told me that she led me on and probably liked me but was unsure of what to do. I still really like this girl. I mean, I think about her a lot. I know i have to just forget about it and start with girls my own age but I’m a a bit cautious, you know. I wrote her an e-mail about a month after she left and she has neglected to respond, maybe I’m just a drama king or I’m reading too much into things but I’m still into her, man.

  25. Denise Johnson says:

    Don’t actually assume a female isn’t unterested in you because she’s detached somewhat. She likely has the need to understand you, as you are. You should not continue to assume things and actually appreciate her as she is.

  26. RonnieTollerico says:

    Dude, you blew it, you had your chance and you watch that ship sail…Sorry to be so blunt

  27. Kuttan says:

    I fell in love with such a girl and now I am broken like hell. This article made me realize that such girls do exist. I feel much better about myself. Thank you.

  28. James Graves says:

    Hey man, me too. This is her. Every single thing. Only when I strayed would she really give me any respect. It’s stupid. It’s just at their convenience.

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