7 Date Ideas That Men Love But Women Actually Hate
While the majority of men plan a date with the lucky girl in mind, others are flat out clueless about date ideas she’ll actually enjoy!
If you hear crickets when you suggest a date spot or notice an awkward hesitation in her voice, stop while you’re ahead and switch gears… fast! You can usually tell when a woman isn’t into the type of date you’re planning, but some are not so easy to read. Since a girl might genuinely like you, she might be hesitant to seem rude or high maintenance by shutting down your ideas.
Most women won’t flat out say “Oh, I’m really not into [insert bad date idea here], but how about [better date idea]?” She would more likely go with the flow, and while you might think this is great, you could have screwed up your chances right off the bat. When a girl gets asked out, she’s looking for a guy who is genuinely interested in her, and is also invested in getting to know her. [Read: 15 things you need to know when planning your first date]
Date ideas that she won’t be eager to go on
Some of these date ideas leave her interests out of the equation, while others don’t give the impression that she’s special. Since you should be trying to make a standout first impression, always keep her in mind when planning your date. Here are 7 date ideas that are surefire fails:
#1 Going for coffee. A coffee date should not even be considered a date idea. It should be considered something you do to catch up with an old acquaintance or to discuss business plans with coworkers. Some guys seem to be under the misguided impression that asking a girl out for coffee is casual, lessens his chance of looking desperate, and is a sort of “low risk opportunity.”
This is theorized in a man’s brain as low investment, since coffee is cheaper than steak and wine for instance, and thus, if it turns out that she doesn’t like you at the end of the date, you didn’t really lose very much. This theory may seem logical to you, but asking a girl out for a coffee is already a surefire way to predict a bad ending, since she will probably label you as a flake or a cheapskate.
She will also assume that you are “not that into her,” and lose interest. So you can probably consider that your last first impression! [Read: 40 first date questions for a great conversation]
#2 Watching a game. While some women are genuinely into sports and love watching sporting events, they wouldn’t typically envision this as an ideal date idea. If they do, consider it rare! Whether you dished out a pile of green for prime seats at a live game or invited her to a sports bar, both equally scream selfish.
Before you begin trying to explain why that’s not true, consider this: even though you might like to go shopping, you wouldn’t appreciate a girl asking you out on a date to the mall right? While she might reason that “you mentioned on the phone how good you feel when buying a new pair of sneakers,” you would still feel like you’re being dragged along to one of her things. Hope that painted a better picture!
Similarly, the same way it would be hard for her to focus on you or get to know you better while distracted by shiny new pumps and colorful dresses, you would not be giving her the attention she deserved while trying to keep track of a game. Plus, those events are loud and filled with loads of testosterone! So treat the lady like a lady, and save the game for a more appropriate time. [Read: 10 fun and romantic summer date ideas]
#3 Hitting the club. A club is one of those places that single men and women usually go to drink, dance, and hopefully meet a hot random stranger. I’m sure your date would prefer to go somewhere where the focus is on her, without a buffet of scantily clad single women around to catch your eye at every turn.
Even if you want to show off your skills on a dance floor, or get as close to her as physically possible, you still aren’t getting any closer to getting to know each other, thanks to the blaring music and sloppy, sweaty, drunk people all around.
#4 Hanging out with your buddies. Even though you love your buddies and can’t wait to show them the new girl you’ve been bragging about, she may not share the same sentiments for your friends right away.
At least for the first few dates, leave her out of the bro bonding, as she is bound to feel uncomfortable being the only female amongst your closest friends. Plus, you really want to make a good impression, and having one of your pals dish something embarrassing you did one time might leave a bad taste in her mouth. While a girl will usually feel special and exclusive when she gets to meet the “boys,” that only applies once you’ve been dating her for a while.
Tell her how important your friends are to you early on, but don’t treat her like one of the guys by turning your date into a boys’ night plus one. She will feel like a tag along, which isn’t exactly what you should be going for.
#5 To a shooting range. I think it’s pretty standard that guys want a girl with whom they can try fun stuff with, especially guy stuff. Apparently, guys are turned on by watching a girl do guy stuff, so much so, that they get carried away and make a date out of it. This is okay after the first date, and only if she expresses interest when you casually bring it up in conversation.
You might see a shooting range as a mutual adrenaline rush, where you can show off your bravado, but it is yet another place that just isn’t date worthy. I know it can seem very cliché and romantic, as you daydream about standing behind her to help her angle her gun properly, she probably has different and more traditional scenarios in mind.
#6 To watch an action movie. As much as you want a companion to join you to watch that hardcore action flick you’ve been dying to see, using that as a date idea is going to come off as looking self-centered. It might feel like you’re killing two birds with one stone, seeing the girl and seeing the movie you wanted to watch, but it’s not bringing the two of you any closer together, when the genre is all fast-paced and probably violent.
The majority of women will get all dressed up for a date, and here she will feel like it was all a waste as she’s watching a bunch of sweaty, blood stained machismos running around. As much as you may despise it, opt for a chick flick or a comedy or something that both of you will find interesting. A movie can take the pressure off a bit, and lets you both relax in each other’s company. You will also have the added bonus of something to talk about once the movie’s over. [Read: How to have the best movie date ever]
#7 To meet the family. Inviting a new girl you like to a family gathering of any sort should be considered the kiss of death to that relationship’s potential. This one only applies to the really clueless, those guys who think that they’ve already met the one, and aren’t afraid to show it to the world. Worse than that is when the “whole world” finds out you got dumped after the first date, because it moved into “scarily far, scarily fast” territory.
Your family might feel comfortable to you, but it could be overwhelming for someone who’s never met them before, and would consider it too close for comfort. She will feel trapped and guilt-tripped into giving you a chance only because she’s met your family, not because she genuinely likes you. Is that what you really want?
I can almost guarantee that the words “Omg! I would really love to spend time meeting your family on our first date” was said by no girl ever. If it was, I would be concerned about a possible fatal attraction on her part, and would advise you to run.
Keep it simple
When choosing date ideas, keep in mind that you want your date to have a great time, so really put thought into her interests, rather than your own. Even if your girl is down to do the guy stuff, and loves being out of the box, show her that your first priority is making her feel comfortable and special. Prove to her that you are interested in really knowing her. Taking her to see a movie is always a safe option, and you can even ask her what movies she likes to watch, to take the guesswork out of the experience.
Even though a movie isn’t the greatest time for conversation, you can always grab a snack before or after the movie to get the conversation rolling. A rom-com is a pretty safe bet, because she will be feeling all warm and fuzzy by the end of it, and thus, more open to letting you in. Some of these movies are actually really funny and entertaining, even for guys, and it helps break the ice for post-movie conversation.
Dinner is an obvious choice for a date, and while super traditional, it also tells the girl that she is special and worth it. You don’t have to pick the most expensive spot in the neighborhood, but just a place that has a nice atmosphere and a variety of food choices. You want to show her that you put thought into her, and into making your date a special experience for the both of you. Keep in mind that her tastes in food may be different from yours, you might want all-you-can-eat ribs and she might be a health nut or even a vegan. When you choose a place she likes, you will look like a real gentleman.
While there are a variety of safe options to choose for dates, communication is key! Keep her involved in the plan, and genuinely aim to please her without looking desperate. You don’t have to break the bank, but you don’t want to come off as cheap either. Keep the emphasis on the conversation, and choose date spots that will encourage more talking as opposed to doing. This will help the two of you to bond more, and find out if you are a good match for a longer-term relationship. You definitely won’t get that by going to a club, or a shooting range, or to your aunt’s birthday dinner.
Going the extra mile to please your date will make her see that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know her and making her happy. Now that’s a first impression that you’d definitely want to leave a girl with!