Why Can’t I Get a Girlfriend? 25 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances
If you’re sitting on your couch covered in Cheeto residue thinking, “why can’t I get a girlfriend,” well, let’s start with putting the Cheetos down.
Most men who want a girlfriend – but can’t get one – tend to point the finger at women. I get it, it’s easy. Hell, I do the same thing when it comes to men. I hate to break it to you, but, at the end of the day, it’s you. It’s sooo you.
No, it’s not that women are blind or that they don’t like nice guys – we have eyes. We know. But there’s obviously something that isn’t latching on too well to women. It could be something small – you chew with your mouth open or yell at old women crossing the street. You know, small things. But these things can be changed, and with a little work, you’ll be able to ditch the “why can’t I get a girlfriend” sob story and get some solid dates.
How to get out of the “why can’t I get a girlfriend” mind frame
So, have you gotten my message yet? It’s not the women. You just need to start looking at yourself. That’s really hard to do for some people, but if you want to stop wondering “why can’t I get a girlfriend” then you have no choice.
#1 You’re actually not even trying. If you’re whining and complaining about not having a girlfriend but then spend your time not approaching women, well, what do you honestly want me to tell you? That one day some girl will walk up to you and give her hand to you in marriage? If you’re not trying, well, that’s your first problem. [Read: 15 tips you absolutely need to know]
#2 You want Miss Perfect. Yeah, and I want a young Brad Pitt, but I can’t wait for that to happen, can I? Exactly. I know you want this hot chick with perfect boobs, a juicy ass, and a personality to die for.
She may exist, I’m not saying she doesn’t, but it’s a rare find. Why don’t you look for someone who’s real instead? You know, someone with flaws because you’re not Mr. Perfect.
#3 You’re not independent. It’s cool to live with your parents, I mean, I still do. However, at some point, let’s say your late twenties, you’re going to want to branch off on your own. Why? Because it’s a sign of growing up which women find very appealing… unless you’re Italian, then you can live with your parents until death.
#4 If you’re rejected, you quit. Rejection is a part of life. You probably got denied a job or a college that you wanted to go to. That’s also rejection. It’s happened to you before, so being rejected by a woman isn’t much different.
But your mistake is that you take it personally, and you allow it to prevent you from talking to other women. That’s the issue. You have to take it as a speed bump and keep driving. [Read: Asking a girl out – How to overcome your fear of rejection]
#5 Mr. Nice Guy. Being a good person is a good thing. This may sound dumb, but women don’t want someone who is too nice. We perceive them as being weak. We want you to be nice, but we also want you to have balls and be able to stand up for yourself and us. Kindness is good, however, being a pushover is not. [Read: Nice guy syndrome – 16 reasons why girls find you really boring]
#6 It’s all about you. You, you, you. Every conversation starts and ends with you. Actually, people can’t remember a story that you didn’t put yourself in. That’s not a good thing. It’s dull, and you’re boring. You’re boring the people around you with your narcissism.
#7 You need a shower. You stink… like physically smell. Take a shower, use some soap, get a haircut – you know, clean up. I would just try this out first and see how things go. Maybe it was just a small hygiene issue. Get that resolved, and you’ll be good to go.
#8 You’re self-conscious. If you’re worried about looking like a fool or saying something stupid, well, you’re missing out on your chance to talk to that cute blonde over there. We’re all self-conscious, so what? You’re gonna let every girl walk by you because of your hairline? [Read: How to overcome shyness – 16 ways to transform your life]
#9 You’re the shy guy in your group. You may be the shy guy in your group of friends. Which isn’t a bad thing, but unless a girl is more aggressive, you probably won’t talk to her. That’s a problem. If you’re shy, try to at least make some small talk to get something going.
#10 You want her to make the first move. Yeah, what a dream that would be, right? Some girls have no problem making the first move, however, many let the guy do the work. If she doesn’t make the first move, you’ll have to. Get used to it.
#11 You don’t know how to balance work and play. Your issue may simply be that you’re always on a business call when you’re on a date. That can be quite the turn-off, trust me. You need to have a balance between your work and personal life because no girl wants to come second after a cell phone. [Read: What women find attractive – 16 traits that instantly draw girls]
#12 You stay at home and play video games on Friday night. Video games are fun, but you won’t find the love of your life playing WOW by yourself. Go out with your friends, it’s the only way to meet new people. Go to house parties, go to clubs, just make an effort in going out and meeting new people.
#13 You don’t show that you like her. Maybe you really do like her, however, you never expressed it to her. So, now you two are really good friends. Yay! Well, if you want a girl to understand that you’re interested in her, you’re going to have to show it. That, or run the risk of being just in the friend zone. [Read: How to let a girl know you like her without really telling her]
#14 You have an emotional wall built up. You’ve been hurt in the past, or you’re inexperienced, so now you have this giant wall built. If you want to have a girlfriend, you’re going to have to allow that wall to come down. Is it scary? Hell yes. But you have to do it if you want something real.
#15 You want to have the perfect life before having a girlfriend. You want the house, the car, the amazing job… I get it. But if you’re waiting for those things to happen before you get a girlfriend, it’s not going to work. You can’t try to plan life while it’s happening.
#16 There are wrong places to meet women. If you’re going to a men’s only gym, you probably won’t find the lady of your dreams there. You need to go to some places where the type of woman you want will be. If you want someone athletic – go hiking, swimming, or to a sports class. [Read: The best places to meet women who are real girlfriend material]
#17 You’re an over-thinker. Aren’t we all? I mean, there’s not one person I know that doesn’t over-think about something. What you need to do is to re-focus your thoughts and not become obsessed with finding a girlfriend. Or else all you’ll meet are the wrong women.
#18 She’s the wrong type of girl. You’re looking at the wrong type of girl. You have this image of some badass chick, but at the end of the day, that’s not what you actually need. Sit down and figure out what you really want in a woman, and then go out and find her.
#19 You move things too fast. Oh, you like her. You really, really like her. You want that second date tomorrow, and then you want her to meet your mom on Saturday. Whoa… just cool it down there. You want everything, however, you want it way too fast. You’re scaring her. You’re actually scaring her. So, take it down a notch and just go with the flow. [Read: 25 biggest dating deal breakers for women]
#20 You think you’re special. You’re not special. Sure, you may have a six pack or a pretty face, but so what? You think you’re the only one? We all have stomach muscles, get over yourself. This whole “I’m special” attitude is making women literally roll their eyes in your presence.
#21 Shitty social skills. Yeah, that’s right, you have shitty social skills. Maybe you’re just an asshole, but the point is, why would she spend an ounce of her time with you if you treat her like shit? Riddle me that, fellas. [Read: 11 bad social habits that make you completely undateable]
#22 Everyone else is the problem. You can’t get a girlfriend because it’s everyone else’s fault except yours. Sure, this sounds minuscule, but this spreads over the other areas of your life. You have to take responsibility for yourself. Who wants to date a guy who blames everything on everyone else?
#23 You haven’t done anything for yourself. We women don’t need you to go to university or do a marathon because of us. We want to see that the guy we’re interested in does things for himself. If we don’t see someone growing as a person, we’re not interested in getting involved. It looks like you’re unmotivated and lack self-respect. [Read: How to be the hot guy – 20 rules to instant hotness]
#24 You don’t care about women. This isn’t a bad thing, I mean, unless you hate women… that’s something different. I suggest therapy. This could simply mean you’ve been hurt in the past and are now numb or you’re not ready. But if you don’t care about women, then this is a decent reason why you don’t have a girlfriend.
#25 You’re boring. If your only hobby is washing your car or looking at yourself in the mirror. Get a hobby. Read a book or watch a film – do something that you’ll be able to talk about. If you’re boring, no one will want to hang around you.
Now, I don’t want to hear you say, “why can’t I get a girlfriend” anymore! You read the list, just put in some elbow grease, and figure out what’s up.