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How to be a Good Boyfriend – 10 Traits that Matter

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Figuring out how to treat your girlfriend with love and respect can be confusing at times. Find out how to be a good boyfriend and be the guy your girlfriend wishes you could be.

how to be a good boyfriend

There are a few things guys need to understand when it comes to knowing how to be a good boyfriend.

While men and women don’t really think along the same lines in a relationship, it’s rather simple to understand what it takes to keep a relationship happy.

For most men, intimacy is sexual companionship, while it’s just not the same for women.

But if you can learn to see the world through the eyes of your girlfriend, you’ll be able to understand what it really takes to be a good boyfriend.

How to be a good boyfriend

One of the easiest ways to be a great boyfriend is to understand your partner and put yourself in your partner’s shoes.

But for an easier way out, here are ten tips on how to be a good boyfriend that can help you make all the difference in your love life.

#1 Treat her like a lady

Boyfriends aren’t born great. They become good boyfriends by knowing how to behave with women and the girl they love.

One of the first steps in getting the admiration of a girl you like is to treat her like a lady.

Learn to be chivalrous and understand what it takes to make her feel special. [Read: How to be chivalrous to know more about chivalry and women]

It’s easy to play nice until you get the girl, and treat her like you don’t care once the chase is over, but guys who do that will never be able to hold on to a great girl who’s desired by all guys. [Read: Why are women fickle in love?]

#2 Respect her as a person

You can’t expect your girlfriend to do everything you want or behave the way you expect her to, just because she’s your girlfriend. Remember that she’s just your girlfriend, you don’t own her and shouldn’t expect her to behave like a trained monkey just because she’s likes you or you’re getting some action in bed with her.

If you want to know how to be a good boyfriend, learn to treat your girlfriend with respect and pay attention to her needs. Don’t take her words lightly or ignore her advice just because she’s a ‘girl’. If you truly do love your girlfriend, you would respect her too.

And if you can’t respect her, it’s obvious it’s not love that’s holding the relationship together.

#3 Remember the special days

Do you ever forget your birthday? Of course, you don’t. You never forget your birthday because it’s a really special day that comes just once a year, right?

Don’t you think your anniversary is special too, or perhaps your girlfriend’s birthday? It’s really arrogant when a guy forgets a special occasion and then says it’s no big deal. If your own special day can be important, why can’t you understand that women give equal attention to their special days too. Try to make a conscious effort to understand your girlfriend and remember the special days if she’s indeed important to you. [Read: Guide to buying lingerie for your girl]

#4 Be caring and affectionate

For men, what matters is physical intimacy and sex. For women, sex is equally important, but they do appreciate a lot of affection too. Just like sex matters to men, cuddles and affection matter just as much for women. Show your affection by spending time holding hands or sitting down in each other’s arms while having a conversation.

A warm hug and a few affectionate kisses mean more in love than wild sexual escapades. And it’ll help your relationship last longer too.

#5 Don’t take your girlfriend for granted

One of the most important aspects of knowing how to be a good boyfriend is to avoid taking your girlfriend for granted. If she gives you a foot massage or cooks a delicious meal for you over the weekend, just don’t take your girlfriend for granted and expect the same every weekend. In a great relationship, both partners have to understand the efforts of their lover and realize that every simple gesture is a sign of love and affection that should never be taken for granted.

Never ever take your girlfriend for granted or take a special gesture for granted. Instead, always learn to be thankful and appreciative of every single affectionate gesture.

#6 Support your girlfriend when she’s in need

All of us need a helpful hand when we’re in need. You don’t need to be clingy and become her Man Friday who’s there to answer her every beck and call. But when your girlfriend genuinely asks you for advice or help, be there to help her out.

Your weekend games or your male bonding time may be important to you, but on a rare occasion that your girlfriend asks you for a bit of help, make sure you’re by her side. It’s always reassuring for a girl to know that she can depend on her man for a helpful hand.

#7 Learn to apologize

Now this isn’t just isolated to boyfriends, but since we’re going over how to be a good boyfriend, we’ll stick to the man’s side of things. It may be egoistically painful to apologize, but sometimes, it’s a generous and yet humble move when a man can apologize to his girlfriend even if he’s not the one who’s wrong.

In the heat of an argument, it’s easy to get egoistic and have tempers flying on a high, but always remember that a simple apology can end the fight and help both of you communicate better. At times, apologize to your girlfriend even if it’s not your fault for the sake of the relationship. [Read: How to get a girl to like you]

P.S. You can always hint to your girlfriend that you’re still right when both of you are having a laugh after a few hours. It’ll help both of you sort your differences without getting blinded by anger or ego.

#8 Listen to her needs

Communicate and understand her needs and wants. Try to understand your girlfriend’s feelings, and even if she ever does sulk or behave grumpily, try to understand what’s going on in her mind instead of retaliating back in anger. Sometimes, women may find it easier to sit by themselves or throw an angry fit instead of getting straight to the point. It’s one of the differences in the way men and women react to pain or anger.

Instead of getting angry over her behavior, realize that men and women are different in such cases and try to understand her mind without losing your cool. It’ll make her feel better, and you a lot more understanding over time.

#9 Don’t try to dominate her

Most guys have a tendency to dominate their girlfriends. It may start out subtly in little ways like watching a favorite show or telling the girlfriend to avoid speaking to a few particular friends. But eventually, the urge to control a partner grows to an uncontrollable level, especially after marriage and even more so if the man’s the sole breadwinner.

This is one of the worst ways of trying to hold a relationship together. Instead of trying to dominate, learn to communicate. You can’t cage a lover or try to manipulate them into becoming what you want them to be. Love is about the attraction between two individuals. If you try to change someone, it’s not love that’s holding both of you together, it’s your insecurity and cowardliness. [Read: Find out if you're an annoying boyfriend]

#10 Push your girlfriend to be a better person

If you want to know how to be a good boyfriend, this is as good as it gets. You know your girlfriend better than anybody else, flaws and all. Most guys assume a relationship is all about being happy and in love, and having a great time in bed. But that’s not where love ends.

Help your girlfriend become a better person and help her overcome her flaws. When both of you try to make each other better individuals by overcoming each other’s flaws, you can achieve more happiness and satisfaction out of life. Learn to positively criticize your girlfriend and help her with her flaws at the same time. By helping her become a better person, she’ll love you and respect you a lot more.

[Read: What women want in a man]

Always remember that knowing how to be a good boyfriend is easy, as long as you have the patience to look at the world through your girlfriend’s eyes and learn to understand her thoughts and her wants.


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Have your say!
  • James
    January 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    questions to this article: #1 As a good boyfriend, what do I do when she doesn’t treat me like a gentleman? #2 As a good boyfriend, what do I do when she doesn’t respect me as a person? #3 As a good boyfriend, what do I do when she isn’t a caring and affectionate? #4 As a good boyfriend, what do I do when she takes me fro granted? #5 As a good boyfriend, what do I do when she doesn’t support me when I need? #6 As a good boyfriend, what do I do when she won’t apologize? #7 As a good boyfriend, what do I do when she doesn’t listen to my needs? #8 As a good boyfriend, what do I do when she tries to dominate me? #9 As a good boyfriend, what do I do when me pushing her to be a better person is translated as me telling her “she’s not good enough.”

  • John
    February 1, 2013 | Permalink |

    I agree with everything in this article, except:

    “At times, apologize to your girlfriend even if it’s not your fault for the sake of the relationship.”

    This is the worst thing you can do in the sake of a relationship or better communication, because you will end up in the opposite.

    When the matter is not so important, you can just try to end the debate by hilighting the fact that this is futile and as a couple, you will both try to overcome the problem.

    But when the matter is more serious, fake apologies won’t help a bit and may dig a deeper confusion in understanding between the partners. If the discussion becomes a bit too hot, you can just both agree to delay the discussion, but NEVER do fake apologies.

    If the matter is important, you ought to reach a real agreement that you will hold, for the sake of both you and your lover.

  • stevo
    April 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    i am worried my insecuritys are what is holding the relatoonship together like in number nine.

  • Dolland Kelly
    August 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    l agree with the article and l have also done all this.l remember saying am sorry for anything l might have done wrong and can you believe she was couldn’t say a word,she was speechless. Shockingly she also said she is sorry. Since that incident she has come to respect me more and always she says she likes because l respect and do not feel any egoism on her. Thank you .

  • Jom
    March 10, 2014 | Permalink |

    You know, I’ve done everything on this list. You know why I’m reading this right now? because I’ve been reading a lot of related articles about this. Because I’m still trying to find out were did it go wrong. I’ve been a good boyfriend but still I’ve been cheated on. There’s just too much to wrap around my head right now that it loses its logic. I really dont understand. You can be a good boyfriend but you must find a good girlfriend. Thanks to these kinds of article, I can safely say I did my share. Thanks.

  • Annie
    May 7, 2014 | Permalink |

    James, you are an utter fail. You know perfectly well that you must have done something to make her behave that way. I do not believe she is giving you the cold shoulder and denying you of affection because “you are being too good to her”. God , you sound like my ex. And quite frankly, that’s disgusting.

  • Yvonne
    September 22, 2014 | Permalink |

    Wake up man no good lie Malaysia man
    Away eat chicken poision

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