It might not happen often, but when your ex wants you back, it’s a big deal. Here’s what to do when they’re down on their knees begging for you back.
There are a lot of reasons couples break up. They may fall out of love with one another or maybe one person was treating the other badly. Regardless of the reasons, sometimes you may find that your ex wants to get back together. But when your ex wants you back, there are a few things you need to think about first.
Deciding whether or not to get back with someone who may have hurt you is a big deal. You never want to just jump right back into things without knowing that it’ll be different. However, it’s really hard to determine if that will be the case.
Why people regret their breakups and want to get back together
Like I mentioned above, there are a ton of reasons you and your partner might breakup. But sometimes, one of you can grow to regret those decisions. If that’s the case with your ex, you’ll need to know what to do when your ex wants you back.
They may have decided they miss having you in their life or they might see you starting to have something with someone else and get jealous. And it’s also very possible that they just made the wrong choice when breaking up with you. Whatever their reasons for wanting you back, it can be overwhelming on your part. This means you might need some help figuring it all out. And that’s where we come in. [Read: 10 signs you should give a relationship another chance]
What to do when your ex wants you back
If this sounds like the situation you’re in, you’re not alone. I’ve been there and I know a lot of people who have had to deal with the same thing. If you want to know what to do when your ex wants you back, we have a system that’ll be sure to work.
#1 Relive the breakup in your mind. This may be a really hard thing to do, but it’s essential if you’re trying to figure out if you want to get back with your ex. How did the breakup go? Was there a lot of abusive language or was it very clean and respectful?
If the breakup was really bad, you may want to think twice about getting back together with them. However, a good breakup can help you see that maybe it was just the wrong timing and now is a better time to be together. [Read: 10 of the worst things to say during a breakup]
#2 Figure out what they’ve been up to. This is the one time you have permission to stalk their social media profiles. See what they’ve been up to and who they’ve been with. It’s very possible they’ve been around a lot of your friends and have been talking about how great you’re doing.
If they’ve been with a lot of new people and dating a lot, it could be a sign that they’re just looking to get some action. You have to figure out if they’ve been doing respectable things before you can consider getting back with them.
#3 Determine if you even miss them. Do you even miss them? Is your life a lot happier and less stressful than when you were together? This is a really important thing to consider when your ex wants you back.
It can help you realize that maybe you’re better off without them. A big sign that you shouldn’t even consider getting back together with your ex is if you’ve been doing great in life without them. Living happier by yourself is much better than living unhappily with them. [Read: The reasons you miss and think about your ex often]
#4 Get your friend’s opinion. Confide in your friends. When it comes to your ex wanting you back, they’ll be sure to have their opinions heard. This is especially true if they know that your ex wasn’t very good to you.
However, if they were on good terms with your ex and really think they were good for you, then they’ll help you decide. Ultimately, it’s up to you. But getting a friend’s opinion will never hurt.
#5 Think about the state of your relationship prior to the breakup. What was your relationship even like? Did the two of you have great communication and the breakup was nothing more than a timing issue or a bad decision on either of your parts?
If you had a great relationship and the breakup was very unexpected, then it’s perfectly fine to think about reuniting. However, you should never even think about getting back together with a partner who is mean and abusive in any way. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]
#6 Figure out if you even trust the person. What’s your trust with them like? Since trust is the most important part of a relationship, there’s no way you can get back together with someone you don’t fully trust.
It’s just a recipe for disaster if you get back with them even though you don’t trust them. But if you fully trust them and they want you back, it’s safe to consider it.
#7 How do you feel about them? This is by far the most important part. When your ex wants you back, it can be easy to slip into the same mindset you had when you were dating. But you need to stop and think about how you really feel about them.
Do you truly love this person? There’s a huge difference between caring about someone and actually loving them. If you truly want to be with that person and everything else checks out, go for it. [Read: 15 ways you’ll experience what true love feels like]
#8 Make sure they’re not just lonely. This happens a lot when your ex was the one who broke things off. They did so for a reason and then they realized that they’re actually quite lonely without you.
When your ex wants you back for this reason, it’s completely selfish. They’re not thinking about the fact that they miss having you in their lives. They’re thinking about how you could keep them entertained and now they’re lonely. Don’t fall for this.
#9 When do they contact you? The specific time they reached out to you says a lot about what they’re thinking. If it was completely random and you really can’t pinpoint a reason for it, then it might be genuine.
#10 Determine if you truly want to give them another chance. This is really up to you. It’s all about what you want and what will make you happy. Your relationship could have ended on great terms and you two just didn’t have the best timing. If that’s the case, I say go for it. Your feelings will help you choose the right path. Trust your gut and go with it. Think about the bigger picture and you’ll make the right choice.