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16 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back In Their Life

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Are you confused about the mixed feelings you’re getting from your ex? Here are 16 signs your ex wants you back that can help you read your ex’s mind. By Cheryl James

signs your ex wants you back

A break up is bad enough, but dealing with the mixed signals from an ex after that?

Well, that just complicates things even further, doesn’t it?

A relationship can drift in so many directions after a break up, and it’s never easy to know where your relationship is heading.

Both of you could end up as friends.

Or avoid each other.

Or one of you could still be in love with the other person.

Or you could just pick one out of the several possibilities there is.

[Read: 16 scenarios when you can and cannot stay friends with an ex]

And that’s what makes breaking up with someone way more complicated than falling in love with someone.

Does your ex want you back?

When you break up, you’re setting yourself up for a whole new beginning.

Nothing will stay the same again for quite a while. Well, at least until you get used to the fact that you’re never going to cuddle up or hang out exclusively with your former lover again.

Moving on is hard, and the temptation of getting back together and giving the relationship another chance becomes more tempting than ever. [Read: Signs you’re ready to date your ex again]

But just when you’re trying to move on, what do you do if you intuitively start to feel like your ex still has a soft corner for you?

Well, you could get back with your ex if you’d want to *not advisable though*, or you could shut your mind up and move on anyway.

Nevertheless, it always feels good to know that you’re being missed by a once-special-someone, doesn’t it?

16 signs your ex wants you back

If you’re wondering whether your ex still likes you or wants to get back with you, here are 16 great ways to pick the right signs.

Keep your eyes open, and watch your ex’s behavior around you. And even before you know it, you’ll be able to realize if your ex still has feelings for you in no time.

#1 Dating dilemma. If your ex still likes you, big chances are, they’ll avoid dating anyone else at least for a long while. And even if they do go out on a date with someone secretly, they’ll probably hush it up or tell your friends not to tell you *because it’ll hurt you*.

A probable reason why they would want to flaunt their single-but-not-ready-to-mingle status is to let you know that you still occupy their heart and they’re ready to wait for you. [Read: 10 signs your past relationship is holding you back from a happy future]

#2 The missing signs. Does your ex make it a point to share their gloomy attitude with everyone else in the world? Do they reveal signs of missing you on Facebook with status updates like “my life feels so empty” or “I’m so tired of this world” or worse “goodbye, cruel world!”?

If your ex links to “your song” on their public pages, or hangs out in all the places both of you used to spend time in as a twosome, chances are, they’re crying for your attention.

#3 Those awkward calls. If your ex wants you back, they’d call you more often than a regular friend. And more often than not, they may just call you, hold the phone, mumble something quietly and listen to you breathing. And even if you’d want to hang up, they’d just drag the breathy conversation for a little bit longer. Creepy? Yes. Sad? Definitely.

#4 Those warm moments. If an ex still likes you, they’d behave in a very warm and friendly manner even after the break up. In fact, they’d be warmer and more loving than you can ever remember.

If your ex speaks in a very soft tone and whispers caringly and lovingly to you even when both of you are just friends, there’s still oh-so-much love in the air, even if it’s only one sided. [Read: The real reason behind why love hurts so much when it goes bad]

#5 Touchy feely. Do you feel your ex’s hand linger after a hug or while sitting next to each other? Exes who like their ex are always very touchy and linger their touchy feely soft grazes each time they touch their ex. You may even get gooseflesh, what with all the cracking chemistry and electricity in the air.

If your ex dislikes you, they probably wouldn’t touch you with a barge pole. But if they still have feelings for you, all they’d want to do is coil around you and wrap you up with their hands. [Read: How to create sexual chemistry and make it stay]

#6 Talking about feelings. Exes who have a hard time moving on always talk about feelings with their former partners. If your ex constantly calls you to talk about the old relationship, or about where both of you went wrong, or how such a perfect relationship could go so wrong, or about how much they loved you while both of you were dating, or anything else that makes your heart feel like romantic jello, your ex is obviously trying to worm their way back into your soft heart.

#7 Oh, those memories. Does your ex remind you of your old anniversary, or about that place both of you used to go to all the time? If your ex clings onto to all the old memories and constantly finds a way to talk about those special times, they want you to remember the same moments too. And in all probability, they’re doing that only to make you feel the love again. [Read: How to get over your first love with a happy memory]

#8 The private eye. If your ex wants you back, big chances are, they know everything about you already even if you haven’t said anything to them when you bump into them. If an ex is interested in you and wants to get back with you, they would definitely make the effort to get to know everything about you and your daily activities behind your back.

#9 Tying loose ends. Has your ex called you sometime and talked about the mistakes they made in the relationship and how things could have been so different if they could have changed for the sake of the relationship earlier?

If your ex tries to show repentance, or wants to let you know that they’ve changed for the better, or if they try to clarify unfinished issues from the past relationship, it makes it pretty clear that they want you to give the relationship a new chance because they’re now a new and improved person.

#10 I miss you. You want the biggest sign that your ex wants you back? Well, then, this is it. If your ex wants you back, they’d open up to you and tell you that they still miss you. If your ex talks about how they miss being with you or spending time with you, or if they express how warmly they feel about the relationship, it’s probably time for you to start considering if you’d want to get back with your ex. [Read: I miss him but I don't think he misses me anymore]

#11 Spread the good word. If an ex misses you and wants you even after the break up, you’d probably encounter many of your ex’s friends who come to you and reveal secretly just how much your ex still misses you and wants you.

#12 Beck and call. Is your ex always available to be with you no matter when you call or what favor you ask? Firstly, exes who get over their exes don’t sit around waiting to run errands for their old lover, they move on. So if your ex wants to be your Man Friday all the time, it’s probably their way to trying to win your affection back.

#13 Bursts of rage. This is funny to watch if you aren’t in love anymore, but if you look at it from your ex’s perspective, it’s pretty sad stuff. Does your ex get annoyed or angry when they see you flirting or sweet talking with someone else who fancies you?

If you see annoyance written all over your ex’s face, or if they snap at you when you have a happy conversation with another person of the opposite sex, it’s pretty certain that you still have your hooks deep in your ex’s heart. [Read: Are you still in love with your ex?]

#14 Those big coincidences. Do you keep walking into your ex now and then, out of the blue? If it happens rarely, it’s probably a coincidence. But if it starts to become a regular affair, chances are, your ex has got a good friend of yours on their side who tells your ex everything about your daily plans. And yes, your ex is making an attempt to walk back into your life all over again.

#15 Drunk escapades. Drunk dialing is funny when it’s a prank. But if it’s a bad case of lost love, your ex may call you occasionally in an inebriated state to pour their heart out. Booze is liquid courage, and it would definitely help your ex say all those things that they usually block out when they’re sober. And even if they don’t have the courage to drunk dial you, you’d probably get a long loving email or a few youtube dedications. [Read: The right way to be friends with an ex]

#16 Puss in Boots. Does your ex ever stare at you the way Puss in Boots does when you walk away, say something mean, or start to date someone else?

If your ex blinks with their big watery eyes, stares sadly at you and seems so low when you don’t give them attention or ignore them, they’re probably craving for your attention. If your ex behaves like it’s the end of the world each time you reveal that you’ve moved on, you probably need to stone up inside unless you’re willing to be mesmerized by those sad Puss in Boot eyes and give the failed relationship another shot. [Read: How to stop thinking about someone you still like]

If you’re even remotely confused about whether your ex wants you back, these 16 signs will surely help you read your ex’s mind.

But once you do realize that your ex wants you back, what are you going to do about it? Sometimes, things that are buried and finished are better off left that way. When you go looking for answers to calm your curiosity, you may end up more confused than ever.

[Read: Signs your ex is still thinking about you all the time]

Curiosity killed the puss and ignorance is bliss. Those words still hold good even today. So now that you know how to use these 16 signs your ex wants you back, what are you going to do when you do read your ex’s mind?


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Have your say!
  • Chris
    November 14, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’m the one who wants to get back together. Tonight we talked and yeah I got a little angry when she always replies to my texts. I thought an ex doesnt keep contact… I thought they usually delete your text before they read it. I told her I miss her alot and decided to quit the online dating because no one on the site believes me I’m a good guy. I get a few numbers and we talk then they just cut me out and I didn’t do anything wrong. Anyways… She wanted to move on with her life and yet she still answers me and I ask her the question to go see a movie with me… expecting a straight out no… she said she’ll think about it. I’m guessing she still thinks about me… but as I read here. its up to her what happens. I do kind of want to talk to her and fix things up. I never got drunk in front of her, I never lay a finger on her and never will. I just allowed my past to swallow up my previous relationship because I was afraid I’d be cheated on and I said that so many times she had enough and left me. But we didn’t exactly fight to the end when she declared she was done with me so who knows. I know as the ex who wants her back has to prove alot to show her I love her still.

  • Jeffrey Butler
    January 7, 2013 | Permalink |

    My ex facebooked me two months ago I finally replied after a month and a half he in turn spent a day with me on facebook and told me he missess me and do I have a man and brung up our intimate moments ? Im smittened by the idea of being with him again ..I still love him altho I am tryin to move on.

  • January 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    First off, I’m going to warn you, this is a very tricky and complicated one. Now I had been with my ex on and off for about 10 years now, about 2 to 3 months ago we broke up, she kicked me out and I started to see someone else, first she did, but a little bit after me. Anyway I kinda moved back in and because of the bedding arrangement, she lets me sleep in the same bed. Yes, we do sleep together regularly, but I recently found out that she had been sleeping with this guy secretly, now I want to give our relationship another go. At the moment, she’s taking complete care of me. I’ve broken my leg and can’t go to work or drive so she’s really doing a lot for me but she has said that she’s happy just having sex with me and I know she’s not sure wether she wants to stop seeing this other guy, I think shes sleeping with him still and this is causing me rage, but on the other hand, she’s taken me in and taking care of me. What do i do? Please someone help me.

  • January 23, 2013 | Permalink |

    just spent a week with my ex and her 16 month old baby found out my feelings for her are different than when we were together my feelings are actually a lot stronger towards her than they ever were..since my ex has gone back home i can’t stop thinking about her

  • Wendy
    February 5, 2013 | Permalink |

    Help me i want my ex boyfriend back im the one who broke up with him and i cant
    live without him so what do i do please help.

  • I.T.L
    February 21, 2013 | Permalink |

    I just wanna know if u find out your girlfriend she’s still contacting with her ex’s it means she still into them.

  • Wade
    February 26, 2013 | Permalink |

    My ex and I been on and off for almost 5 years. We share a lot off things in common, career, hobbies, taste, aspirations and on and on. She’s very loving, kind and generous. We had some really great times and our bad ones. We’ve always encouraged one another and was always able to relate. We were the best of friends. Our break ups were generally due to me having to much to drink. Over the last 7 months I stopped drinking completely and have gotten help to stay stopped. Over the last 7 months we starting spending more to time together and starting growing closer and closer. We spent thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years together and they were all wonderful… In fact she said I gave her the best thanks giving ever in her life and it was just the two of us. Within the last month we became even closer and was intimate on two occasions and the next day she said we can’t keep doing this and she didn’t want to be in a relationship and I should just focus on myself and that she’s still in love with me and who knows what will happen 3 – 6 months….. This time the breakup wasn’t bad as in argueing or even fighting. At first we would talk a bit and even exchange texts late at night til the early morning. After about a week I asked her to meet me for dinner and she completely shut down communication. It’s been about a month now with but she recently sent me an oops txt, when I replied was this ment for me I got no reply. I’m straight confused. My career is taking off, I’m healthier and more fit then I ever been im 6ft and 180 lbs lean down from 203lbs of ice cream weigth…there’s no ex girlfriend drama or other women issues at all. She’s knows how deeply I care for her and even her family, she always told me how no ther guy in her life has treated her a good as I have. How do I give her the space she wants, let her know I’m still in love with and win her back without bugging her and pushing her further away????

  • Hailey
    May 3, 2013 | Permalink |

    My first real love and I broke up about two years ago in November. Since then we’ve stayed in contact and talked as friends mutually. Since we stopped dating I have had a hard time making a relationship last because I still have the what if state in the back of my mind, keeping in mind that we only broke up due to distance. We recently started talking again within the past few weeks, on his account, and we are looking to meet up soon. He makes it sound as if he still cares but I don’t want my heart to be torn to bits. I came to this site looking for a sign and as long as what he’s said to me is true, this site is dead on. Fingers crossed!

  • SH
    May 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    My ex texted me on 28 of April after couple of months been away and she said I MISS U…
    dunno what to do yet, but i’ma give her a CHANCE!!!

  • Joe
    July 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    The worst has to be my girlfriend’s ex, who literally moved all the way across the world to try to get back together with her. It’s really pathetic, and her mother had to sit the guy down to tell him it was over. Seriously has a mental problem or something…

  • Woody
    July 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    My ex wife of 6 years broke up with me, she kicked me out, and we have a kid together. But this was close to 3 years ago. But after she kicked me out we were still sleeping together for 2 and a half years. And we were doing things like a family would do things. And I was living a good distance from them, until I finally decided it was time for my to move closer to them, so I can see my son more often. Strange thing is this, no more than a couple of weeks I move closer to them she finds someone she’s interested in and then starts acting really cold to me. I didn’t understand it, before him she use to tell me that she misses me. Now it’s like she never even cared about me. And she even told me that she lost all feelings for me when she kicked me out. Then I asked her ” why did you tell me you miss, why are we still having sex and why were we still doing things like we were still a family?!” Her reply “why not!” And now I’m so confused, and I even lost my temper a few times and said things I should never have said. I had apologized for that, but it goes on deaf ears because she won’t hear any of it. I know now that it’s truly over, at least I think it’s over for good! Thing is I still love her, but why should I love someone who’s been so cold to me, when all I’ve done is try to keep the family together?

  • Lee
    July 30, 2013 | Permalink |

    Me and my girlfriend were together for 5years with 3 kids under the age of 8. When we got together she already had to boys aged 1 and 3 with no farther around so as our relationship went on I grew closer to the boys and eventually became there farther Figuer. After 3years of being together we had a little girl of our own who is now 2 and a half. My partner left me 5weeks ago because she said she wanted 2 sort her life out ( due to current personal problems) and be selfish and concentrate on the kids. I am more than totally gutted as she is my life and helped though a lot especially my dad dieing. I’m currently living at my sister due to my partner wanting space and not to confuse the kids who are also not taking the situation lightly. Every time I tell her I love her, miss her or how I feel she gets quite moody and says I’m making her feel bad and quilty for her being honest. I really don’t know what to do cause I miss her more than my dad and she’s totally ripped me apart. Can some 1 out there PLEASE PLEASE help me get her back I’m begging you!! I love this very special woman more than life it’s self and can NOT possibly carry on my life with out her. I know they say it gets easier with time ( like my dad passing away) but this isn’t. Someone please help me find a answer, I’ve tried everything I can think of and more.

  • love lost
    August 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    hi, i was already married when i met this guy in our society we fell in love but as i could not marry him he got married . then we lost the touch but he always kept looking ,well after 3 yrs we spoke and ended kissing for very long . but now again he stopped talking ,but yes he still keeps staring added me on his Facebook but im confused now ? does he still loves me if yes why does he not talk to me whats in his mind i cant figure out but i really love him don’t know what he feels for me

  • Hattie
    August 29, 2013 | Permalink |

    I was shagging this guy for a few months, then he said he wanted some time out, and i moved to london, and we kept emailing and calling each other, then i said are you ever going to go out with me? and he said no because of various reasons, like i’m too mental. i didnt talk to him for about a week then he emailed me about something on my blog, and we’ve been emailing each other. its mostly him, he sends me something everyday, and they’re very short. he suggested me and some other friends met up, and he said abotu having no where to stay and how bored he is. i said he could stay at mine, and he said thats a kind offer. i love him so much i dont want to fuck it up. what should i do now? i’m worried he just likes being friends with me because it boosts his ego and he likes being friends with girls. i dont want to get into a situation where he can walk all over me, but i need to be chilled as well. if i get too cross it will put him off again.

  • Carline
    September 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    My ex husband and I divorced about a year ago. Since then we have continually seen each other and been intimate. Things are good between us and I feel like we could definitely be together happily. I feel the divorce was too abrupt and should’ve never been done in the first place. Emotions were high at the time I guess you could say. Anyways, now he says he “can’t commit” yet all of his actions are contradicting. He says he wants to be friends but everything we do are things “friends” don’t do. I’m totally confused. I know he’s scared of getting back together out of fear that we won’t work out but why is he saying one thing yet doing another? We are the best of friends and totally into each other. I’m at a loss.

  • Jade Marshall
    October 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    I broke up with my ex a year ago now but recently me and my bestfriend have been recording the constant times he looks at us. Then there was this day that everything happened, he looked at us/me 171 in just 3 lessons. Seriously we were so creeped out. But then the worst thing happened, no wonder he had been acting so horrible around me yet so nice around my bestfriend. HE ASKED HER OUT THAT SAME DAY! Then she said no and he carried on being nice to her and horrible to me ( the same scince we broke up) but scince that day the number of times he looks at me and just me have increased drastically. It went from about 46 a day to about 211 a day. I couldnt and still cant belive this. I need help fast so please respond ASAP, thanks in advance. Jade xx

  • tomsterbby
    October 5, 2013 | Permalink |

    this is all just superficial and obvious. i didnt need to read what common sense will tell you anyways.
    what i want to know is much deeper. if she is so angry and still might be holding on. signs so deep its not obvious. if you can tell us that, you will be so well respected. otherwise, its all just superficial gossip.
    please help with real help.
    i cheated, she didnt give me a chance to fix it. she didnt handle it well, but she didnt have to as i shouldnt have cheated. no one should know how to handle it. but now that i put her into the situation and i want to fix it, a year and a half later. she dated someone else, i did too, that both stopped. she says to move on, she says she is moving on, sometimes she is my friend, very good friend but no more than that. then she is angry again. when she is dating and talks sweet to him on the phone in front of me, it hurts and i run away to find someone else. that upsets her and when i ended someone else because i cant stop thinking about her, she gets upset with me when i try to contact her again.
    maybe i should have stuck it out, i wasnt prepared for that much pain. we about both very ignorant about how to handle this but i am trying. why would she be mad at me for running away while she is talking sweet to someone else? is this fair? i cheated and she says she cant trust me. i dont blame her. but she ran away without giving me a chance to fix it, after seven years. all the pro’s say a chance to fix it should be given, to repair and rebuild. and it takes time and effort not just giving in and pretend nothing ever happened.
    so what i want to know is this; besides what i have already stated, what deep un-obvious signs are there that she still loves me and might try to fix it?

  • jessica
    October 13, 2013 | Permalink |

    i am soo confused :- it has been almost 3 weeks since me and my ex split. we have a son together so i knew keeping in touch would be a must. the big dilemma is that he is with someone else…..he tells me oten how much he loves me and misses me. and constantlu talks about a future together. i still love him and want him back but he is still with her. he says the only reason he is with her is bc he has kids with her too and if they break up she wont let him see the kids. he talks about hooking up and eventually living together again once i get my own place i need help!! does he TRUELY want 2 be with me or is he just telling me these things 2 keep me as a back up plan??

  • Samantha
    October 23, 2013 | Permalink |

    Well my ex and me broke up and i still have feelings for him and i want him back he got a new girl and he thinks its not goin to work out how can i get him back i love him so much and i even said ill wait for him advice plz i can’t explain how much i love him we have a 24 month old son named after him i want him back so FREAKING BAD and i feel like he feels the same way but idk

  • pearl
    October 24, 2013 | Permalink |

    My boyfriend cheated on me soo many times and I kept forgiving him. He says he loves me nd no matter what he does he will never leave me. We dont live together tho, we are still about to meet eachother. Am in fl nd he is in LA…we have been dating for 2yrs now but never met ! What should I do ? Breakup with him ?

  • Lana
    November 5, 2013 | Permalink |

    Okay so I broke up with my boyfriend last year and a month after he asked me back out and I said I’m not sure and I didn’t give a complete yes or no so he decided to go out with 3 other girls in the past year but when he walks past me he puts his head down and looks up at me and sort of flicks his hair. I want to go back with him but I’d get made fun of and he’s a little bit smaller than me. He’s currently in a relationship.. Help?

  • chandlerjg
    November 6, 2013 | Permalink |

    I still love my ex girlfriend and would do anything to get her back to. But my brother is dating her best friend so she is always at my house. You want to talk about hurt. She hits on my friends, she treats me horribly in my own house and it straight up hurts. She’s there almost everyday and it seems like i can never get over her because she wont let me! She also lives right down the street from me. I just get depressed every time i see her and that is all the time. It just sucks!!!!!! If i tell her to get out im the jerk because her best friend is super popular and she is to so its like i feel everyones against me. So not only do i love her with everything i have, but she is single and talking to guys right in front of my face and it just blows. It is a truly messed up situation. I have no idea how to get over her. Any suggestions from anyone I need some advice here!

  • andy
    November 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    hey me and my ex has been broken up for about 2 years but we talk everyday somedays he sweet and fun other days he is mean and nasty I cant tell if he want me back or just playing with me the other day he told me he was see someone but he only bring this up when were fighting so I don’t know what to do he told my friend that no matter what he dose im still always going to be there so should I try working it out or move on and stop talking to him plz help .me and my ex were together for a year and we still talk drity and flirt with each other plz help me

  • George
    December 13, 2013 | Permalink |

    My Ex and I dated for 5 years and were married for 10 years. Over the years a continued t o catch her having affairs. Her response early on was in the third person speaking abstractly, “It has been my experience from seeing other people, that cheating will not stop. It is like an addiction to cocaine or heroin, it will not stop until divorce.” I know should have moved on, we eventually had children, then finally I gave her the cure. She was in love with her boss and the had a secret apartment. I threw in the towel…..We had a very ugly divorce with my Ex seldom speaking to me in more than terse statements. Her relationship end with her boss during the divorce then she started dating another boss at work. She eventually had to transfer to a new area of the organization due to the conflict. She has in the last two months become a chatty Kathy when she talks to me on the telephone but only when I have the kids and she is with her boyfriend. It has become pretty apparent to me that she is having very heavy sexually fore play with her boyfriend while she tries to continue the conversation. Once she appears to climax (back ground noise and her low gasping) she immediately wants to hang up with the same excuses. She has to take a shower or she has another call coming. Why is she doing this and what does she want to accomplish with it….is she being an closet exhibitionist, getting her thrill again by pretending to cheat on me or is she just trying to taunt me. She never lets on that there is some else with her even though I can hear the other person talking softly in the background. I know I should just hang up on her. What are your opinions?

    Sincerely,
    Puzzled

  • john stanley
    December 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    Completely disagree with the sentiment you should never go back with your ex, absolute trash , I broke up with my girl 5 years ago, after being together for 3 years previous,
    And are relationship is better and stronger than ever , we both realised we absolutely loved each other, we discussed where we went wrong and worked together we fixed it , we became a team not enemies,
    Obviously it depends on the situation but people throw away great relationships over a few silly things

  • lost in love
    April 19, 2014 | Permalink |

    i love him till the death i can’t move on and i can’t letting go … now he is in a nother town and i miss him sooooooooo much. we hadn’t speek in a few month’s should i call him?
    and i need some advice to lett him think of me and want me back . i hope you’ll help me

  • Joseph Ker
    June 3, 2014 | Permalink |

    I want mine to know how I feel, regardless of the outcome, I really hope I get to see her again

  • Beatriz
    June 25, 2014 | Permalink |

    Hi.
    My ex girlfriend and I broke up 3 months ago, for a few weeks we used to avoid each other, sometimes I couldn’t even look at her face or talk to her properly, but even during that time we would get intimate. We live together, and we share the same room (now she’s changing rooms). We are now on a 3 month vacation from college so we’ll not see each other that often… last time we were together (last week) we slept together and we got intimate, just like during the last week we were in college (three weeks ago) and we used to get intimate and sleep together some other days after the breakup. Now we text each other we talk about random things, we don’t talk about getting back, she doesn’t want that and she doesn’t want me to talk about it. She is depressed and has been for like 5 months and she feels she’s not right for me. When we are together, most of the time it doesn’t even feel like we’re not dating anymore. A mutual friend told me that she told her that I am the love of life but she can’t be with me it makes me feel worse, I want her back and I’m willing to wait, but it scares me because we don’t live at the same town and she sees her ex boyfriend every day, she says he is very important to her but they are just friends but still she’s with him every day and I can’t be with her. Still we are going to see each other next week. For what I know she does love me, but not being with her is killing me and I don’t know what to do to get her back.
    Any help?
    Sorry for this confusing text.
    Thank you

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