After a breakup, most people want the chance to move on. But what happens when all the signs point to scenarios where you should get back with your ex?
Breaking up with someone is hard enough. Deciding to end the relationship may just be the hardest thing that you’ll ever have to do. Moving on is the second hardest thing. The third hardest thing? To give that very same relationship another chance. This is especially true if you’ve been badly burned by that relationship and then, out of the blue, just when you think you have moved on, the person comes knocking on your door, asking for forgiveness and a second chance.
Signs a reunion is in order
Should you get back with your ex and breathe new life into a supposedly dead-for-good relationship? Here are some signs that suggest yes—because, for some, love can be sweeter the second time around.
#1 Caught in the moment. There are times when you are overcome with so much anger in the moment that you decide to break up, right off the bat. It could be because you let your ego get in the way of finding a resolution and rashly opted to break up. Whatever it is, your breakup may not be well-thought-out and, after the smoke clears, you may find yourself regretting your decision.
#2 The situation. Maybe you and your ex decided to go your separate ways because you both find your lives going separate ways. Maybe it was a long-distance relationship and you couldn’t take the distance. Or maybe one of you is more hell-bent on building a career than keeping the relationship intact.
Whatever your reason for your breakup was before, it may have been fixed now. You could’ve found yourself in a better place in your life now, and getting back together may just be the thing that completes your period of change and growth.
#3 What they said. Often, we’re so caught in our own bubble, we forget to look at the bigger picture. Usually, after a break up, friends and family will tell you to forget about your ex and move on. They may be right, because even if you’re broken hearted, they probably see sides to your crumbled love story that your rose-colored glasses weren’t able to see.
But what if they keep telling you that you were stupid and crazy and you should get back with your ex? They may see that your relationship is really worth saving, after all. If you try to see things from their perspective, they could be right. Sometimes, your friends and family know you better than you know yourself, so listening to them just this once may pay off.
#4 Miserably alone. Ever had that feeling of breaking up, then being so miserable that you can’t get out of bed, and you keep thinking deep, dark, morbid thoughts? Some say it’s just a phase—just post-breakup drama, when you have miserable feelings and you honestly believe you can’t live without your ex. [Read: 10 stages of a break up that everyone has to go through]
However, what if that phase doesn’t go away, and you’re just not the same without your ex? What if, after years have passed, you are still not over *and you believe you can never get over* your ex? The clincher here is this: what if your ex feels the same way? If this is the case, then what’s stopping you two? Just get back together, already!
#5 Time. It’s been said that time heals all wounds. Often, people just need time to think, time to be by themselves, to be away, to grow, to realize their mistakes, and to realize what they have lost. You may have been childhood sweethearts who grew apart, but through time, you finally forgot what made you break up and all you remember are those butterflies in your stomach and how much you really love the person.
After some time, the world turned, and the universe still conspired to bring the two of you into each other’s lives. Maybe, before, the timing was just off, and now is the time to start over. Don’t wait any longer to get back together. [Read: 10 signs your rocky relationship deserves another chance]
#6 Wavelength. You like cats and he’s allergic to them. He loves Persian food and you can’t stand the smell of spices. You like things organized and he’s a slob. Incompatibility is one of the major drives that split up a couple. What if, after some time has passed, you have a change of heart and you find spices and Persian cuisine irresistible?
In time, you both may find yourself more open to adjust to your differences. This time around, things may be a lot different for you two, and you may find yourselves having more in common, after all. It’s more likely that you changed your mind and priorities over time and were able to put things into better perspective, making you a better match for each other.
#7 Greener grass. So, your relationship is over, and you can’t wait to get back into the dating scene. However, after one blind date after another and another *and still another you would rather forget*, you realize that the grass really isn’t greener on the other side.
In fact, beyond the fence is a dull, rotting wasteland and you’d rather go back to where you feel comfortable, happy, and alive. This time, jump back over the fence, return to your grass, water it, nurture it, and see what will grow. [Read: 10 signs that prove you are still really attached to your ex]
#8 Older and wiser. When you were young, you tended to be immature and impulsive. Small things often just exploded into big fights. And how many times did you threaten to break up, until you guys finally did? Over time, you may find yourselves wondering if you should’ve just let those little things go, been a little more patient, and held on. It’s over, but now that you’re older and wiser, you want a second chance, confident that it’s going to be different because you are both mature enough to ride the tides of your relationship. If this is you, give that love another chance. [Read: The step-by-step guide to get your ex to fall back in love with you]
#9 Believing in second chances. If you’re like many of those who still believe in true love and second chances, why not give your lost love another chance? There really is no written-in-stone rule that you can’t get back together with an ex, so why not give things another shot? If you understand that your ex made a mistake and you have your own shortcomings, too, then maybe you’re open to forgiving, forgetting, and moving forward. If you both still believe that you can work things out, and are willing to work on your relationship once more, then go ahead.
#10 It was the greatest ever. There’s nothing like true love. Once you’ve had it, you know it. You know you have found “the one,” and the same goes for your ex. However, due to one reason or another, you had to go separate ways. You tried to get over that love you still believe was the greatest love you will ever have, but nothing worked. You just can’t get over how amazing the person is, and how perfect you are for each other, despite your individual imperfections. If you know deep in your heart of hearts that you had the greatest love ever, then go ahead, and win back your ex! [Read: Is your ex thinking about you? Watch for these subtle signs]
After a break up, it is important to distance yourself from strong, overwhelming feelings and try to be objective. Do you want to get back together on a whim, or because you just can’t stand being alone? If these are your reasons, you should just let time pass and make you forget about your ex.