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No Contact with Ex or Contacting an Ex?

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Contacting an ex can seem enticing, but is it better to have no contact with an ex? Finding out about your ex is easy today, but is contacting your ex something you should do? Find out what could happen here.

Click here to read the introduction on googling an ex and how to go about it.

Contacting an ex can be exciting and pee inducing, but is it better to have no contact with ex boyfriends and girlfriends?

Or is it better to reach out and say hello?

These days, life isn’t as simple and easy as it was a decade ago when there was no google, facebook or twitter.

A decade ago, if someone broke up with you and walked out of your life, that was it. You would have no idea where that person would be or what they’re doing.

There was no contact with exes and no way to know what they were up to. The only odd coincidence was if both of you bumped into each other, many years later.

But as painful as the sudden disappearance would be, the wound would heal and we’d feel better after a while. It was like pulling a tooth out when we’re not looking. [Read: How to get over a broken heart]

No contact with exes or contacting an ex?

With the advent of social networking sites and easy access to just about anyone’s life and personal details, ignoring an ex or avoiding contact with your ex is one of the most difficult things to do.

Our exes are all around us, and all we need to do is google their name to see hundreds of pages of their personal details splash across the page. It’s frustrating to see your exes, and yet difficult to stay away from an ex, especially one with whom you’re still in love. [Read: How to get over an ex]

What happens when you try contacting your ex

All of us have indeed searched for an ex at least a few times in our lives. Here are a few google and social networking stories of bitter reunions and sweet connections.

Overworked ex-finder

I don’t go looking for exes on the net. I’m way too overworked to have that kind of free time, but I did have one guy whom I particularly liked. I couldn’t really find him on google, but I found him on a community site. I haven’t contacted him, but he lives in another city.

-Rita, 31

Bad phone call

I’ve always wanted to contact my ex from high school. We went out briefly while we were both in ninth grade. I got her number by mailing one of her friends from college via facebook. But one phone call was all it took me to realize that calling her was the worst mistake. She actually yelled at me for calling her! [Read: Love memories and love letters]

-Sebastian, 22

Rekindling old affairs

I was just surfing on the net a few years ago, and I saw my ex’s name on one of the pages. It wasn’t her, but after an hour of searching, I eventually found my ex. We were in love with each other from the age of fifteen to twenty, before we had to part ways after moving to different cities. I contacted her through her friend and eventually met for lunch. It was great to see each other. But we’re 40 now, married and with kids, and we’re not going to be anything more than friends.

-Chuck, 40

Old boyfriend stories

I’ve had a lot of my old boyfriends search me up online. I’ve met a few of them, and almost always, it’s been rather sweet and nice. I loved meeting them, but yeah, my current boyfriend wasn’t too happy about me getting back in touch with my exes.

-Deb, 34

Love at pendant’s sight

I was looking for my friends on Facebook, and saw that my ex-girlfriend was there too. I sent her a friend request which she promptly accepted. When I went in and checked her pictures, I saw that she was still wearing the pendant I had given her. We started talking again, and eventually fell right back in love. We were both each other’s first partners. [Read: Teenage love stories]

-Richard, 27

The wonder years

I’ve found several old friends online, and it’s been great. One or two didn’t return messages. The best was the girl who lived across the street until we were 13. I had a crush on her. Twenty years later, we finally dated for a year and we’re good friends now.

-Jake, 35

Matching stats?

I found my ex online at match.com as I was browsing for potential dates. That pig didn’t know it was me. He lied about his age, stats, and likes… Once a loser, always a loser!

-Isabel, 23

Invisible pleasures!

I’ve had only one ex so far, and I’m quite happy about it too. Every time I’ve tried googling his name, I don’t come across anything but a facebook page where I can’t see anything. I guess I’m lucky in a way. Either he’s too busy to be seen online, or a complete loser.

-Neha, 23

Boyfriend’s still alive!

I googled about my ex and read one of his blogs in which he was talking like he was Marilyn Manson! He apparently wanted to kill himself, because the world was messed up. He used to be that way back in school, which is why I dumped him in the first place. But even now, so many years later? That was quite a laugh. He must be really stupid or clumsy for a guy who’s been bragging about wanting to kill himself for years but has been getting foiled all the time! How the hell is he still alive?!

-Ashley, 25

Freaky obsessions!

I found myself digging up information on a gorgeous bloke I had a torrid fling with and his current girlfriend. I used to google information about him and his girlfriend every single day. I created a fake facebook account and became friends with both of them, and spent hours every day looking through their life. It was just annoyingly pathetic!

-Page, 29

Worrying ex

Sometimes, community sites can be a great help for us. An ex of mine was living in Japan, during the time of the tsunami. I was worried if she was in any danger, but thanks to a few websites, I got to know that she was alright. I saw her scrapping her friends the next morning. It’s sad though, that she doesn’t want to keep in touch with me.

-Brian, 22

Wrong memories!

I’ve always had fond memories about my girlfriend, even though we had broken up a few years ago. But everything changed when I tried contacting her on her new blog that I came across. The worst part, I was horrified to see that she had mentioned me as one of the worst things to happen in her life, about the jerk I was, and about how I used to cheat on her when we were together. She even lied that I was not well endowed! And I actually liked her all these years…

-Victor, 22

Contacting an ex can have its own memories, both sweet and bittersweet. So is it better to have no contact with an ex? No one knows for sure. Contacting your ex, like love itself, is an experience that’s to each their own!

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DISCUSSION

8 thoughts on “No Contact with Ex or Contacting an Ex?”

  1. Peme says:

    If you’re still googling your ex and wishing you were still with them, then you’re living in a fantasy world. They left you for a reason – deal.

  2. Sally says:

    This would depend on WHY the relationship ended in the first place, if it was through circumstance that weren’t anybody’s fault or out of one or both parties control such as moving to different cities then I don’t see a problem with searching for an ex and maybe even contacting them.

    If the relationship ended badly why would you want to get back in touch with that ex anyway?! Chances are an ex in that situation would probably rather not be contacted again and it’s probably best to live by the “An ex is an ex for a reason” mantra in situations like that.

    If you find that an ex is happily married or in a good relationship do not ever interfere in that after all you are the ex, you could be intruding and if you were that great they’d still be with you and not that other person, in that situation it’s best to either look only for a platonic friendship or don’t even contact them at all.

  3. curtis says:

    When I was 14 I met a girl on blackberry messenger and I honestly think it was love at first “sight” we had an instant connection and we ended up meeting after 5 months of being together… I was fully in love with her and if I am honest, it felt great! After another 7 months we was together almost a year but things had fallen apart and her family didn’t approve of me. It ripped me to shreads and now a year after we have broken up we still occasionally speak but it hurts, a lot.

  4. T says:

    Wow… Ashley is a real piece of work. Laughing about someone who is suicidal and being “still alive”…

  5. B says:

    I met a guy 15 years younger, he lives two hours away. We used to spend weekends together. The three months we were together was something I have never experienced..We seemed to be totaly inlove. We cried when Sundays came and have to say goodbye. He was very posessive and so was I. Both of us telling each other that we have never loved like this. I am an ex model and he could not tell me enough how attractive I am (I never got that from my ex husband)..
    After three months this young guy decided to end it..He just wanted to be friends. I could not understand it.He seemed to change overnight..We kept in touch daily by skype and text..At times he gave me hope that we are getting back together and just as quickly he would lift me up he would drop me again..I would sit in tears on skype with him just staring.. He stil got jealous if he thought I was talking to somebody else..It has been very confusing..
    Then he told me he has found somebody and I must not text him anymor because he did not want her to know…a few days later he said it was not true..he confused me completely.. I do however know he has been going out at odd times..turning his phone off and when he gets home in the early hours of the morning he wants me on skype..sometimes I sit on skype with him from 2am to 4am!.. I love him and can not take this anymore..especially knowing that he might be seeing somebody else..I decided to start the NO CONTACT RULE last night….
    He texted me at 2:30 requesting I come on skype but I ignored his text..He texted me about six times telling me if I care about him I would come on or am I sleeping..My heart was racing out of control while I ignored these text messages as I wanted so much to see him on skype..Then he called my house phone and I ignored that too….
    Will the NO CONTACT RULE make him realise what he has done? will he miss me more?..will it chase him away?
    I miss him and I am finding it very hard to cope..

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