Love memories can linger in our minds for years, and we all want to burn and discard painful memories so we can forget all about them. But should you really burn old love letters?
Doniv Whitgreen reveals why we should never throw away love memories and old love letters from past amours. He burnt his old love letters when he was still in school and regrets it, even to this day.
We’ve all been in and out of love memories, with heartbreaks and aches every now and then.
You may have several past lovers and many special experiences that you’ve shared with them. And each time we break up, we hate our exes or we’re too deep in love to overcome the pain.
I was in love a few times in my life. My first break up was the most painful and is the one that comes to my mind the most.
It comes to my mind, not out of love or hate, but because I have no love memories of that relationship. I have no cards, no dried flowers, no love notes and no photographs.
A week after I broke up with her, I collected all her old love letters, gifts, notes and photos and made a bonfire out of it. It felt good back then, and I thought that burning her memories was the best way to overcome the lost love.
I missed reading her old love letters and her cards for a while, and after a few years, I almost forgot how she looked. I could remember her, of course, but it was just a vague memory.
I dated several women over the years, and every time I broke up, I found that it was bearable. I didn’t have to burn their love memories down like the first time. All my romantic love memories are locked up in a blue trunk in my attic even to this day.
I occasionally see them, and laugh about it. But I feel quite stupid for having burnt down my first love letters. It’s not the love I have for her, but a memory of the pain and the happiness I had been through when I first knew what love felt like.
It was a great memory, because we were class mates and we used to pass love letters during the class hours. It’s been years and I can’t remember what I might have written in those little love notes. I think about that more than I think about her. I have a slam book in which she’s written a note to me and that’s all that remains of her.
The problem with me was that I had always been worrying so much about finding the perfect one, that I had forgotten all about the experiences I’ve had on the journey. I can remember my first girlfriend giving me a mushy love letter after our first romantic kiss. I can’t remember what it said. I only wish I still had it.
I bumped into my first girlfriend a week ago. We sat in a coffee shop and we talked. Things were different. We spoke like old friends and it was good. No ill feelings and no rift. I had met her after a decade. To me, bumping into her felt like bumping into someone for the first time. I couldn’t recollect too many love memories of ‘us’, though she did remind me of a few incidents and old love letters.
I guess she still had my old love letters and love notes from class. That thought didn’t make me feel warm or fuzzy inside, it made me feel foolish and stupid. She had treasured those years as a memory and she could recollect all of them, and laugh about it. I wished I could have turned back time, and I even wondered if I could ask her for a photocopy of our old love letters! But that would be the most stupid thing to ask for sure. I had lost my love memories, sure, but not my mind thankfully. We exchanged numbers and we hugged each other goodbye.
If only I knew back then, about how I would feel now, maybe I would never have burned the stack of old love letters and cards and done the tribal dance around them.
Perhaps, I would have sat with my first girlfriend and talked about memories that I found funny too. That would have been nice. But now, that’s history and I have no regrets. But the only thing that rubs it in is the fact that I don’t remember my first kiss, my first date, and my first love letter in my life. If only I had those love letters and kept those love memories in a corner of my blue trunk, I could have read them all over again and remembered what a smooth talker and writer I was, even in tenth grade!
But all said and done, if you ever have a chance to keep your old love letters and special love memories, don’t burn them like I did. Find a nice little corner, and keep it locked away for a rainy day!
We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!
Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship?
You can change someone else’s life too!