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Letting Go of Your Ex: 15 Ways to Make It Easier

letting go of your ex

The pain of letting someone you love go is never easy to deal with. Here are the best ways to get through that tough time with grace and poise.

Whenever a breakup isn’t in your favor, you’re going to feel pain and heartache—a lot of it. Sure, some chocolate, a sappy movie, and spending endless days on the couch bundled up in ten blankets may be one way to get through it, but do you really want to spend several weeks like that?

I’m not one for wasting too much time trying to get over someone who didn’t want me anymore. The truth is: yes, it’s hard and it sucks. However, there are a lot of different things you can do to make the process a whole lot easier.

Letting go can be easier than you think!

There once was a time that I spent weeks—even months—trying to let go of this guy who broke my heart. I tried everything in the book, from the classic ice cream and tears, to hitting the town to find me a “replacement.” Unfortunately, neither of those were the best idea.

So I decided to try some different things here and there… and what do you know? Some actually worked wonders. I spent numerous days chatting up other people in my situation and they also had some insightful ways to make getting over him easier. [Read: How to survive the first 168 hours after a breakup]

These aren’t quick fixes and you won’t get over a lost love overnight. Let me make that clear. However, these are some surefire ways that will definitely make getting over your ex way easier. You’ll be free of their metaphorical grasp on your heart in no time!

#1 Do something for yourself. Get a new haircut, buy a new pair of jeans that make your butt look like a million bucks, and splurge on a massage for yourself. Just do anything special for yourself that you normally wouldn’t do because of your ex.

Sometimes people spend so much time holding onto their ex because they feel they’ll be lonely otherwise. Well, loneliness is perfectly fine! It means you have time to go do something awesome for yourself. So do it. [Read: Suddenly single? 11 things you HAVE to avoid doing]

#2 Go out with your friends! Yeah, your FRIENDS. Remember those people? The ones who you barely ever saw because of said ex? Go out with them and use them as a distraction. It’ll be good for you to go out with someone other than your ex for once.

It will not only help distract you from missing them, but it’ll help you let go of them by realizing that you don’t need them in your life to have a good time and be happy.

#3 Ignore them *if they’re still trying to talk to you*. For some reason, people think it’s okay to still talk to the person that they just destroyed by ripping their heart into pieces *not literally, don’t worry*. But in order for you to let your ex go, you have to ignore this.

I know it’s hard to ignore the person who you want to talk to most, but if you really want to let go of them, it has to be done! Keeping in constant communication with them will only make things harder. If they can’t sever the line, then you have to. [Read: 15 reasons why you ex still calls you and stays in touch]

#4 Get rid of their stuff. I mean ALL of their stuff. Don’t keep anything of theirs because it’ll only take you in a downward spiral you really don’t want to be going down. Trust me. Accidentally pulling their old t-shirt out of your dresser will bring back too many emotions.

So, give it all back to them and don’t take them up on their offer to keep the stuff. If they refuse to come pick it up, trash it. You’ll be way better off and will be able to let go of them much easier this way.

#5 Unfollow them on social media. There’s nothing that will keep you holding on to your ex quite like having access to view their social media accounts; you’ll be able to see who their new person of interest is and that’ll ruin all the progress you’ve made in getting over them.

Unfollow or unfriend them from EVERYTHING. That’s the only surefire way you’ll avoid seeing them pop up on your feed and ripping open those stitches you worked so hard to heal. [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule works every single time]

#6 Don’t think about them! Ah, this one is probably the hardest of them all to do because, really, it’s involuntary. I could be watching an awesome video of cats trying to be cuddled and think of my ex. Honestly, where the heck does it come from?

But the one thing you do have control over is thinking about them. When they pop up in your vulnerable mind, quickly think of something else. Watch a video, listen to some music, read a book, or do anything that’ll keep your mind off them.

#7 Delete their number. This is a no brainer. Just get rid of it. The only good it’s doing sitting in your phone is giving you hope that you’ll need it again one day. Well, if you really want to let go, you won’t need it anymore. DELETE. Gone. Over.

#8 Pick up a new hobby. Nothing distracts you from an ex quite like the thrill of a new hobby that you’ve always wanted to try. There has to be something you’re interested in, and what better time to dive in than when you desperately need to let go of an ex? Pick up something new to let go of something old.

#9 Avoid places you know they’ll be. When you’re trying to let go of an ex, it’s never the best idea to frequent places that you know they also frequent. Running into them will only tear on those fragile little heartstrings of yours.

So skip that trip to their favorite coffee shop and try out a new one! Who knows—you may find new places that you like way better than the old ones. And what’s even better? They won’t be there! [Read: 14 things you need to keep in mind when you accidentally bump into your ex]

#10 Be honest with yourself. It’s hard for people to admit that they’re better off without the person they care so much for. But in order to let go of them, you have to realize this. Be honest. You know things are going to be better when the person who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings is out of your life.

#11 Let it all out. Sometimes, all a person needs to let go is to let it all out. Scream, yell, cry, and fuss your way out of their clutches. You’ll be surprised by how much better you feel after you’ve spent an evening venting to a friend.

#12 Write it all down. Outright verbal attack on a person who isn’t even around might not be your cup of tea. Understandable. But you can get the same effect of letting it all out if you write it down.

Writing down your emotions and how you feel about that person will help you let go of them. So, get a journal and jot down what’s holding you to them. Your own mind may get you out of the debacle and help you let go all on its own! [Read: 10 signs your past relationship is holding you back from a better future]

#13 Meet some new people. I’m not saying you should rush out and meet someone new in order to replace your ex. That never results in anything pretty. But you should meet new people and play the field a little.

One thing that helps people let go is knowing that their ex isn’t the only person out there for them and that they can be just as happy with someone else.

#14 Enjoy your singleness! Why are you so down on yourself? You’re single! Let go of the person that is barely holding you in Couplesville so you can truly enjoy Singlesville and all it has to offer. When you enjoy being single, you’ll notice that you’ve let go of them more and more each day. [Read: 15 reasons why being single can be more fun than in a relationship]

#15 Spend more time on yourself. Now with this, I don’t meant splurging on buying yourself cool stuff. I mean that you should spend time focusing on your dreams, goals, and aspirations. When you better yourself as a person, you will find that it’s easier to let go of those who don’t belong in your life anymore.

[Read: The 10 stages of a breakup and how to get through each of them]

There are so many reasons to just let go of your ex. While it’s not always the simplest thing to do and you might run into roadblocks from time to time, these 15 ways will ease the journey.

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Bella Pope
Bella Pope
Lover. Laugher. Writer. Reader. Guitar Player. Craft Enthusiast. Workout Junky. Wannabe Chef. Traveling Free Spirit. I’m just a small town gal fighting my way...
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DISCUSSION

  • Depp

    Realizing she had no respect for me, and didn’t care about me what so ever. Realizing it was all give and no get. But the final thing was when she hit me up and asked for a favor, this was like the only time after dumping me she reached out to me.. I sent it to her n it was sitting at her house for weeks n she didn’t say a single thing. She has zero respect for me. I have dated many females but I’ve never seen someone care so little about their partners. She would say so much shit about how her ex was so selfish n she couldn’t see herself having kids w him. Except she was the selfish one. Anyway.. Sometimes I’m still depressed from it but I’m getting way better, it’s almost like when you realize that you meant nothing to them and that they didn’t care about you that’s what makes it easier. Plus she looked depressed as fu*k in the new fb profile pic I saw of her.. I actually kinda feel bad for her because I messed her up too, but she ruined my life completely so we’re even. So there you have it. Oh also.. I saw she was involved w someone else n that was something that I had braced for. Definitely made me realize she saw me as easily replaceable so that made it easier too. N I’m like 90 percent sure that even tho she told me she wanted to be alone for a very long time , was involved w someone else at the time of breaking up w me. Idk why but that made me feel kinda good cuz I’m not the type of person to do that. But hey.. Having your life as one rebound after another is her perogative not mine. When you realize other people abhorrent selfish behavior is out of your control, then you can truly be at peace with yourself. Sometimes when someone says I love you it means, I like you a lot because you make me feel good about myself, but I have zero intention of ever returning the favor.

  • Christy

    Do you know what happened to me? I accidentally put like on my ex’s picture and he wrote me a message. He said that he wanted a second chance and we should hang out again and blah blah blah. I left him on seen, but I am kind of sorry for him. Oh well, I just loved him so much and I think I still do. But he cheated on me and I can’t forget it so easily. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this article. I think it’s time to move on and the first thing I’ll do is listen to your advice and unfriend him. I’ve had enough of everything already. Ugh.

  • Compatible

    For me it was all about realizing that, while our relationship was overall good, we were both in very different places in our lives and over the years we were together we grew apart, not in love, but in our life’s goals. The future, rather than the present, is what ended my last relationship. There is no malice, though it would be easier to hate her. Afterward we tried to stay close but, we just drifted apart. I can tell it’s affected both of us, whenever we interact (it’s now been ~2 years) we’re still both awkward about it. I’m pretty sure she thinks about me as much as I think about her, but in really was the time for us to move on to, not necessarily greener pastures in love, but greener pastures in our careers and dreams. It’s been over two months since we had our last awkward exchange, and half a year since our last normal conversation, I doubt I’ll ever see her again. It’s only been in the past few weeks that I’ve even felt like dating again. It was a little longer than I hoped, but judging by the past few dates I’ve been on and how much I’m looking forward to the next ones, I’ve finally moved on.

  • Andrea Guccelli

    My ex left me a little over 2 months ago now. We were long-distance, about 2 hours apart but still spent weekends with each other. Her and I went through a lot in the 6 months that we were together, including a car accident that left me with without a car and a lot of medical bills that I’ll soon have to file bankruptcy for. We both made it through and fell in love with each other. She was vocal about how important trust is, how she was committed to us, how she looked forward to our future together. But after awhile things changed. She became very critical of me, getting annoyed/irritated easily. She had expressed on many occasions her frustration with the distance between us, saying she hated making the drive to see me and how we spent so much time missing each other. When we broke up she said that we had become “incompatible”, saying I had baggage from the car accident, etc.. She essentially made it seem like it was my fault. To end this long story, after we broke up I went full no-contact. I came to find out, via mutual friends, that she had met another guy in her town. She was spending time with him within a week after her breaking up with me, and become “official” a month after we broke up. The evidence strongly suggests that she was, at the very least, talking to this guy before we broke up. This wreaked havoc on my self-esteem. I felt betrayed and abandoned. Especially with everything I have to deal with regarding the car accident. It’s been a rough 2 months, and a rough holiday season for me. But I’ve made it a long way, I feel that I’ve almost fully let her go. I just need help with that last step. How do I let her go, how do I stop missing her, how do I let go of the memory of who I thought she was? I admit that part of me is sort of “afraid” to let her go.

  • sami

    Assuming you were in a fairly fulfilling relationship that lasted more than just a few months (otherwise you wouldn’t care about getting over them), you need to lose the assumption that you will be able to completely get over them. You never will. The time that you spent with them contributed to who you are today and you should never be ashamed of that. What you will do is learn to live with the idea that what you had was great while it lasted but now it is time to move on. Like a day at Disneyland, it was fun and you wish you didn’t have to leave but the reality is, you were not able to stay. So you walk out those gates with a smile on your face and the knowledge that one day, you’ll return again. It may not be the same place, but you know what you are looking for and you won’t settle for anything less. Yes it will hurt and you will want that to end. It will. But, as cheesy as it sounds, the pain is the proof that what you had was worth it. If it didn’t hurt, the relationship would not have been good enough. It’s the price we pay. So, remember the good times and smile. Reflect on the bad and think of what you’ll do different next time. Then take a walk and get some sun. Read some poetry or write some of your own (even if it’s shitty, who cares?! It’s just for you). When the thoughts come back embrace them, cry and start the process over. Every time you do this the pain will lessen until you realize that, while you will not get over them, you will be ok. You’ll realize that you are strong, important and worth it.