If you’re missing your ex-boyfriend and can’t stop thinking about him, I’m not going to lie—it hurts. But here are 15 ways to help you feel better.
Missing someone can be an extremely painful experience. Are you thinking about what he’s doing right now? Staring at his photo while a tear rolls down your cheek? Casually—I mean, obsessively creeping his Facebook? Wailing, the miss-my-ex-boyfriend-cry!
I know you can’t help it. It’s your emotions, it’s the memories, it’s everything rolled up together. But somehow you need to find a way to move on.
How to stop missing your ex-boyfriend for good
If you’ve been in love, you’ve been in this situation before. If you’re trying to figure out what to do to stop missing your ex-boyfriend, then we have you covered.
#1 Get rid of the negativity. If you miss your ex-boyfriend, push past the negative feelings. Are you good enough? Did they even love you? You need to stop it! I know, these are all questions that go through my head too, but the feelings tagging along with them can really do damage to yourself. You cannot control all situations, and whatever happens, happens. [Read: Feeling unlovable? 12 life-changing truths you need to know]
#2 Realize your feelings. You need to realize why you’re missing them. Is it because you really love your ex-boyfriend or is it simply because your ego is bruised? I used to call my exes and try to get their attention not because I actually missed them, but because I wanted them to pay attention to me.
Okay, sure, maybe I sound like a jerk, but honestly, who likes it when no one is paying attention to them? It’s all about the ego in this case and that isn’t good for him or you.
#3 Get back together. This is only if, and I mean if, you really want to be with them. Don’t get back together with them and realize you were actually wrong. If you’re missing them after months, or even years, of not being with them, maybe you should think about reconsidering your relationship.
If you’re missing him that much, maybe you actually did make a mistake. You can win him back. It’s possible. To get him back, though, you need to work on yourself and see the flaws you had within your relationship. Try working on yourself and through that, show him you’re ready to try out the relationship again. [Read: Round two: 10 signs you should get back with your ex]
#4 Write them letters. But don’t send them. I repeat, don’t send them. Okay, send them one. If they reply, send them another. However, don’t become a stalker sending her ex-boyfriend weekly letters, with teardrops stained on her perfumed letterhead.
This applies to emails as well. And texts. And any other method of communication. This is more of a tool for you to express your feelings in a healthy way. Write down every emotion, every thought you have so you don’t bottle everything up. Because eventually, you’ll snap, like Britney in ‘08.
#5 Keep yourself busy. If miss my ex-boyfriend is on repeat in your head, you need to keep yourself busy. What happens when you have time? You think. About what? Him. Yeah, exactly. Not the healthiest thing to do all day.
Now, keeping yourself busy doesn’t mean staring at his Instagram or checking when he was last on WhatsApp. Coming from experience, it’s a bad way to spend the day. Stay focused on yourself. Go to the gym, join a club, go out with friends. You won’t be able to not think about him, but by keeping your days busy, you’ll reduce the opportunity to stroll down memory lane.
#6 Think about you. Stop the sulking. If you’re missing your ex-boyfriend, either way, you need to keep yourself number one. Why? Because if you’re not your number one, you’ll struggle to maintain a relationship or suffer in getting over your ex. Do you want to get your ex-boyfriend back? If you don’t focus on yourself and make necessary changes in your behavior, your relationship will be the same as before.
If you miss your ex-boyfriend and sit at home pouting all day, he’ll see this as a dependency issue and that’s a red flag. Me, myself, and I. Say that out loud again. Me, myself, and I. You can thank Destiny’s Child for that line. [Read: How to stop loving someone else… and love yourself more]
#7 Give him space. No one wants to get back with someone who’s constantly checking on them. It’s like slowly being suffocated with a plastic bag. People like space. You like your space when you’re on the bus or sitting on the toilet—so let him have his.
#8 Give yourself time. If you’re missing your ex, you need to give yourself time to heal. I know the quote, time heals all wounds, is really cliché, but it’s true. I was in love with a guy who didn’t love me. It took me a year and a half to actually get completely over it.
It wasn’t easy, I thought that quote was complete crap and that I would never love again. But turns out that clichés are clichés for a reason.
#9 Keep goals in mind. If you find yourself missing your ex-boyfriend, use long-term goals to keep your mind off of him and to move forward with your life. These goals could be educational goals or simply a goal to see your family more often. Find a goal that gives you purpose or joy. [Read: How does it really feel when you miss someone?]
#10 Remove reminders. If you find yourself really missing your ex-boyfriend, taking down the photo of you two from your fridge is a great start. And that teddy bear he gave you? And the necklace… oh, yeah, and handmade birthday card… just… yeah… How about we tuck those away for now?
Move anything visual around your house that reminds you of him. You don’t have to do some chant and burn those things in a fire, just put them in a box and store them away. Or do the fire and chant. Whichever makes you feel better.
#11 Meet new people. You don’t have to join Tinder or have some sort of horrible string of one-night stands. I did that, trust me, the grieving process took even longer—except the swiping was fun.
#12 Go to therapy. There ain’t nothing wrong with talking to someone. Actually, if you have talked about missing your ex-boyfriend to your friends, they’re probably exhausted with this topic. I’m sorry, but I’ve been that friend and you’ve been that friend—it’s not fun.
Going to someone who’s a third party is a great way to get unbiased advice and an outside opinion on the situation. Friends are fine and good, but they’re not therapists.
#13 Ask your friends not to talk about him. If you have mutual friends with your ex-boyfriend, them bringing up his name in conversation will not make the grieving process any easier. Let your friends know you don’t want to talk about him. If they’re your real friends, they’ll respect your request and wait for you to get over this hurdle. [Read: 8 healing steps to help a friend get over a breakup]
#14 Sweat it out. Everyone says physical activity is a great way to get over someone, because it’s true. If you’re feeling stressed and anxious, the best thing you can do is to sweat. This not only slowly puts you into tip-top shape, but it helps release your hormones and reduce your stress and anxiety levels. So, get that playlist ready and get that butt outside. [Read: Feeling lonely? Here are legit reasons for missing your ex]
#15 Go somewhere—anywhere! If your ex-boyfriend lives down the street from you, go on a holiday to get away from the constant reminder. Or move. But a holiday sounds nicer.
You will move past these emotions, you just need a little help in doing so. Put yourself first and follow some of these steps. It may take some time, but eventually, you’ll have a clear mind and a heart that won’t ache.
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A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...