Some breakups end in bitterness, some hasty and impulsive. If you regret the breakup or are looking for revenge, here’s how to make your ex miss you.
Breakups always have that “hangover” stage where your mind constantly regurgitates thoughts and memories of your ex and the time you spent together. If you’re not ready to let go, these tips for how to make your ex miss you might have them coming back for more.
After the initial anger and resentment, you’ll reach a point where you’ll need to come to terms with any lingering feelings you hold for your ex. That is, deciding whether to move on with your life, or make amends and get back together. Whichever end you choose, everything will be a game of chicken between the two of you from that point onward.
How to make your ex miss you: The tips and tricks you need
Because of pride or stubbornness, no one takes the initiative to get back together. It is up to you to make them flinch in your staring contest. Use a little bit of psychological warfare to make them miss you enough to come groveling back into your arms.
#1 Adopt a “Don’t Get Mad, Get Even” mindset. Burn this in your mind after the breakup. Some would say that this is an immature move. But let’s be honest, it feels good to be vindictive sometimes.
For starters, raging and self-destructing will not get you anywhere. Post-breakups should be emotional to some degree, but it should not be used as an excuse to put yourself at a disadvantage. Remember the one who wins the breakup is the one who comes out of it stronger. Have a good cry, then sober up. [Read: 12 devious ways to be a crazy ex and get your revenge]
#2 Cease all forms of communication for the moment. The “no communications” phase is very important. Especially if a breakup is still recent with words and explanations left unsaid. This can be difficult because there will always be that urge to check on your ex through calls or by stalking their social media.
However, you need to be firm and cease all forms of communication: calls, texts, and social media messages. Giving your ex radio silence shows you are fine with the breakup and will not be easily swayed by a premature make up conversation.
#3 Avoid showing emotionally-charged posts and statuses on social media. Want to know the secret behind getting your ex to miss you? Remember this, the post-breakup phase makes everybody vulnerable to post sad status messages, a breakup song or two, or a soppy quote from a favorite author or movie on social media. Do not give in at any cost.
#4 Avoid confiding to “compromised” mutual friends. As things are, your mutual friends would be quite eager to offer a listening ear to your breakup woes or to give you words of advice. You need to be wary of your ex’s possible “agents” who might have been asked to fish for information or likely to tattle about your current disposition.
Divulge a little bit but not too much. Or better yet, only share your most honest feelings to your most trusted friends. This further keeps your ex in the dark and makes them miss you more.
#5 Show that life goes on even without them. You both have your favorite places and activities that you did together. If you genuinely liked doing those activities or visiting those places, continue to enjoy it. Don’t let the memory of your ex ruin it for you. Remember everything is not about them.
#6 Be happy and let everyone notice. Wonderinghow to make your ex miss you? Like what every post-breakup advice says, the best revenge is letting your ex know you’re still happy after the breakup.
While there would indeed be a depressed stage, don’t wallow in it for long. Maturity happens when you realize that the breakup depression doesn’t need you to stop going out and enjoying life. So, keep going out with friends, enjoying your usual activities, and keep posting it on social media for the world to see. [Read: 13 happy things you need for a perfectly happy life]
#7 Show the world and your ex the brand new you. Get your hair done, hit the gym, upgrade your wardrobe, and then flaunt the post-breakup you. Nothing else makes your ex wallow in despair and longing than seeing the better-looking, more radiant you on social media.
It definitely pushes your ex’s button to realize the marvelous-looking creature they see on social media is the same person they broke up with.
#8 Don’t get flustered if you randomly bump into your ex. Believe it or not, this happens more often than we imagine. You both have mutual friends and common activities before so it is likely you’ll meet them in a bar or a coffee shop you used to visit together.
If this happens and you accidentally make eye contact, look at your ex straight in the eye and give a little grin of acknowledgement. This shows you are confident and mature enough to deal with your breakup.
#9 If you randomly bump into your ex, act like they’re a friend you haven’t seen in a long time. This is considered the coup de grace in random ex encounters. When randomly bumping into your ex, act all friendly and enthusiastic about not seeing and hearing from them for a long time. Initiate small talk and ask how your ex has been doing.
#10 After some time, entertain communication from your ex. Remember you are to entertain, not initiate communication. After a period of radio silence, start to accept communication but only on a casual level. Talk like normal people without strings attached. Also, take some time before replying to their messages. Quick replies hint you anticipate your ex’s messages and might give your ex ideas about your motives.
#11 Interact casually in the presence of friends. When the inevitable happens and one of your mutual friends in your social circle invite both of you to an event, try to interact with your ex like a normal person. Put off that “I don’t care” attitude to give your ex the idea that you’re doing fine after your breakup. [Read: Breakup to make up: 10 ways to give love a second chance]
#12 Make yourself look stunning when meeting your ex with your mutual friends. Also, dress to the nines when meeting your ex as if you’re seducing them. Seeing one’s ex looking so good after a breakup will definitely be agonizing enough for them to miss you.
No matter which way a relationship ends, there will still be memories to make you long for the good old days. And whether you decide to move on, or make amends to get back to how you once were, missing your ex is inevitable.
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Paul Timothy or “Morty” (as he likes to call himself) is a writer-photographer based in Manila. After finishing a degree in Psychology he found himself swep...