Whether you were together for 10 years or 10 minutes, moving on can be emotional and difficult, but sometimes, it’s the only step you can take.
Moving on is an essential part of breaking up. The tricky thing, however, is that moving on is way easier said than done. In fact, recuperating immediately after a separation is almost unheard of in the relationship world. It takes time, and usually one party will have moved on sooner than the other—the other who may still hope for a second chance.
10 signs you should move onward and upward
If you’re the one who has a hard time moving on, how do you know if your ex has gotten over you? The 10 signs below can help you tell if your ex has moved on or has even completely forgotten about you. If this is the case, it’s time for you to move on, too.
#1 Your ex has not contacted you. After breaking up, your ex has not attempted to contact you, and it is always you who tries to contact him. He may not want to discuss anything with you, or has found no reason to look back or resolve anything with you. Furthermore, he may have even changed his number or is simply not available to talk. Even your offer to be friends with him when your call went to voicemail went unanswered. Bottom line is, if he wanted to reconcile, he would have sought you out. [Read: Should you have no contact with your ex?]
#2 Your ex has returned all your stuff. The only time he contacted you was right after you broke up and he asked to have the keys to his place back. He also asked to have his shirts, his jackets, his favorite pillow and blanket, his autographed baseball hat, and even the jewelry he gave you returned. Not only is he over you, but he wants nothing to do with you.
#3 Your ex has told you to move on. Whether you were the one to end things or your ex was, there could be times that you have tried to contact him to ask to get back together. Each time, however, he has told you that he has moved on and you should, too. You’re about to tell them that you will change to make things better, but he cuts you off. “It’s me, not you,” he tells you.
This puts an end to any hope for reconciliation, because he is denying you any opportunity to try and repair the damage done to the relationship. By implying that he’s the problem, he’s telling you to stay back and stay away. [Read: 8 reasons getting back with your ex is self-sabotage]
#4 Your ex does not seem to be interested in you. You call him and he doesn’t answer. You even texted that drunk text, but nada, not a word in return. You might leave hints to him or his friends on Facebook, but even then, he seems unfazed.
Even your mutual friends tell you your ex seems fine. There may have been times when you’ve bumped into each other in the street and he seemed disinterested or indifferent. He may even try to avoid you. In all honesty, he is probably just not interested in you anymore. This may be because he is interested in someone else, or just because he no longer feels that the two of you are compatible. [Read: 7 resolute ways to resist the urge to call your ex]
#5 Your ex has removed you from all of his social networking sites. One day, you open your social media account and he doesn’t show up in the newsfeed anymore. You can’t cyber-stalk him and see where he’s been hanging out since you broke up. In addition to changing his relationship status from “in a relationship” to “single,” he has completely blocked you from all his social media accounts—a clear sign that he is erasing you from his life. [Read: Online obsessions: Obsession over an ex]
#6 Your ex has forgotten your name or your number. A friend tells you how he bumped into your ex and asked about you, but your ex’s reaction was complete confusion, like he forgot all about you. That may be an extreme example, but forgetting about you is a clear indication that he has already moved on. You may have even tried to call or text him, only to receive an answer along the lines of “Who is this?”
#7 Your ex does not show any signs of regret or loneliness. While he may not have deleted you off his friends list, you may find yourself utterly tortured by the sight of him having the time of his life. He is going out with friends, traveling, meeting new people, even doing things that he didn’t do while you were together.
Seeing picture after picture of his happily grinning face may be too much proof that he has moved on. So, if he doesn’t block you from his social network account, seeing what you think is his insufferably blissful face might compel you to do it yourself. [Read: Are you jealous of your ex?]
#8 Your ex is fine if you’re around. You visit the place you used to frequent together and, out of the blue, he pops up next to you. He greets you with a casual, “Hi, how are you?” Your mind races to answer that you’re miserable and you miss him and you want to get back with him, but all you can manage to reply is, “I’m fine.” Deep inside, though, you’re not, but the same can’t be said of your ex. He is clearly thriving and happy and is genuinely over you. He has no hard feelings about your breakup, and he is clearly comfortable around you. [Read: 14 things to keep in mind when you bump into your ex]
#9 Your ex is fine even if you’re not around. Your ex is loving life and doing great at his job. This means he is happy and doesn’t need you anymore, because he can enjoy life without having you around. He is creating new experiences for himself, learning new things, going to new places, or even taking up a hobby he never got to try while you were together. Clearly, he has left you behind for good.
#10 Your ex has started dating other people. Another clear *not to mention painful* indication that your ex has moved on is that he has started seeing other people. For example, you see him going inside the fancy restaurant you always wanted to go to when you were dating, but this time, he has another woman beside him. He looks happy and in love. [Read: 8 sure ways to deal with an ex seeing someone new]
If he has started dating girls, one after the other, it is clear he has moved on. You may have mutual friends whom you still ask about him, and they tell you about his dating habits and current flames. If he is clearly happy with someone he’s dating, that’s a sure-fire sign that you are out of the picture and there is no going back.
Relationships, no matter how great and seemingly long-lasting, sometimes do end. That’s the reality. It is painful and heartbreaking. You may be overcome with a mix of emotions: confusion, hurt, anger, embarrassment, shame, and loneliness. However, always remember that things happen for a reason, and there is no use looking back, only to lose sight of the things that are ahead of you.
Even if you miss your ex right now, if he has clearly moved on, you need to follow suit. Start viewing your breakup as a form of liberation, so you will be free to find and love yourself. The key to happiness is not to dwell on the past, but to be strong enough to make the most of your life and keep moving forward.
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Tiffany Grace Reyes
Tiffany is a wordsmith who has played with words ever since her letter-to-the-editor was published nationally at the age of 9. Since then her writing has gone f...