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Does My Ex Want Me Back? How to Decode Their Deepest Desires

does my ex want me back

Some breakups don’t last long before your ex goes running back to you. You may ask yourself, does my ex want me back? Here’s how to tell.

One of the most frustrating things to go through is that period of time when your ex wants you back and you have no clue what to do. They dumped you. They left your heart wide open on the floor and now it seems like they want to stitch it back together. But do they really? If you find yourself asking, “does my ex want me back?” you’ll need some help.

Your ex may want you back for a number of reasons. They could just be lonely or they could realize that life without you sucks. Either way, it can be difficult to tell if they truly want you back if their behavior isn’t readable.

Getting back together with an ex is very risky

I personally have a rule where I refuse to get back together with an ex. If we break up, then I have decided that I can’t salvage the relationship at all. Therefore, I don’t think it’s really ever a good idea to get back together with an ex.

The only exception I would ever have is with timing. There could be a lot going on in each of your lives and it can take a toll on your relationship. So eventually, you break up due to those conflicts. However, if the relationship itself was great and you cared for them a lot, getting back together can be acceptable.

But it’s still very risky. Much of the time, the beginning of the relationship after you get back together is great. It’s fresh and exciting. However, after a time, you get back into the same harmful slump that broke you in up the first place. [Read: 10 signs you should get back with your ex]

Does my ex want me back?

If you’re still pining over your ex and are curious if they want to get back together with you, these are some clear signs they do. You’ll no longer have to ask yourself, “Does my ex want me back?”

#1 They still like your pictures and updates on social media. This is probably the most obvious sign your ex wants you back. However, they can also do this as a means to stay on your good side after a particularly bad breakup.

Overall, if your ex continues to like all of your pictures and updates, there’s a pretty good chance they’re still into you. Otherwise, why would they go out of their way to continue liking it? Keep an eye on this and it can help you figure out if your ex really does want you back. [Read: 15 subtle signs your ex wants you back but won’t admit it]

#2 They check in on your every now and then. Do they randomly text you just to “check in” with you? If so, it could be a sign they want you back. Your ex shouldn’t even be texting you after a breakup. So why is it your ex is checking up with you to see how your life is?

The truth is, it could be because they want you back and it could also be because they don’t want you to date someone else. Pay attention to when they reach out and what they end up talking about.

#3 They never retrieved their belongings from your place. Even after you’ve told them multiple times to pick up their stuff and they simply refuse, it could be for a reason. They might just want you to hold onto it. They might want to have a reason to come see you whenever they feel like it.

If you don’t want to get back with your ex at all, I suggest dropping the stuff off at their place. That way, they won’t be able to use that as an excuse to talk to you. [Read: How to break up with someone you live with and keep the peace]

#4 They “randomly” show up wherever you are. By the way, it’s completely not random. At least most of the time it’s not random. Usually they do this so they can see you and bump into you without it being too obvious.

But if it’s a regular occurrence for them to show up where you’re spending time with friends, it’s not an accident. This is a huge sign they totally want you back. They use this time as an opportunity to talk to you.

#5 Your friends tell you they’ve been asking about you. This is one of the biggest signs. When you find yourself asking, “does my ex want me back?” this will help you know they do. Asking your friends about you means they want to know what you’re up to. They want to be involved. Why would they be doing that if they don’t want you back? Make sure your friends tell you about this, too. [Read: Can you remain friends even after a breakup?]

#6 They still flirt with you. Your exes may always flirt with you. Either they’ll be so awkward they completely ignore you or they’ll just flirt with you because they want you back. When conversations with them tend to always end up flirty, they definitely want you back.

In order to avoid this if you don’t want them back would be to just end the conversation when they try to flirt. Make an excuse and get away. You never want to lead your ex on.

#7 They express concerns about any new people you’re dating. This is usually only true if you’ve remained friends with your ex and talk about who you’re dating. Your ex isn’t going to like the people you date. That’s just the truth. And if they’re making it very obvious that they don’t like anyone you’re dating, then it could be because they want you back. They want to be the one you date. [Read: How to make your ex jealous and drive them nuts]

#8 They call for seemingly silly reasons. Random phone calls that don’t seem to have a purpose are definitely a sign that your ex wants you back. Calling you up and chatting is just something they’ll do when they want to hear your voice.

They’ll want to feel close to you. Plus, this is a great way to gauge your interest in them. If you end up staying on the phone for a long time with them, they’ll think you want them back, too.

#9 When you two do talk, they bring up the “good times.” Talking about the great parts of your relationships is a super clear sign they want you back. There’s no point in reliving those things if they didn’t want to make new memories.

Be wary of this. It can also help trap you in the mindset of your relationship being really great when in reality, it wasn’t. Keep a clear head and don’t let your ex trap you this way. [Read: Why keeping things slow and steady is the best way when getting back together]

#10 They tell you they miss you. Obviously, if your ex is telling you they want you back, then they must really want you back. They’ll talk about how much they miss you and want to be with you. They may even propose that you two go out together and try to rekindle something.

You’ll have to decide for yourself if that’s a good idea or not. Remember to think about why you broke up in the first place. Determine if your relationship with them was even healthy. Only then can you decide what to do if your ex wants you back.

 [Read: 16 signs your ex clearly wants you back in their life]

Whenever you find yourself asking, “Does my ex want me back?” this list will help you determine that for sure. Don’t make the mistake of thinking friendliness means they want to get back together.

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Bella Pope
Bella Pope
Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...

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