I’m still in love with my ex and can’t block him out all the time. But what about you, are you still in love with your ex? How does it affect you? By Sophia Strutt
Exes are the reason that make love so meaningful and yet, so painful.
Exes help you realize just how memorable love is, and just how much it can hurt when love starts to go bad.
If you’ve been in more than one relationship, you’ll know what I mean.
You can get over an ex, but can you ever stop loving an ex?
Perhaps, if it was an ugly breakup or if it was a relationship that meant nothing, it may be very easy to get over an ex.
But what about getting over an ex with whom you shared true love?
Can you ever get over that ex?
Are you still in love with your ex?
I still love my ex somewhere deep within me.
I’ve always convinced myself that I don’t love my ex anymore, but just when I start to believe I’ve completely gotten over my ex, he slips through the cracks within the spaces of my mind.
And as much as I try to push my ex’s face away from my mind, I can’t help but drop my resistance and enjoy the miserable moment for one moment longer. And soon, that moment lingers and stretches into a daydream. And my blissfully painful reverie brings with it all the pain and misery I had locked within my heart, in a corner so deep I can’t even find it so I can throw it away. [Read: 10 signs your past relationship is holding your life back]
Can one ever stop loving an old true love?
We could date someone else, and our heart may be filled with new love all over again. And it could bring all the happiness in the world too. But that doesn’t mean our hearts aren’t big enough to carry old love.
The itch to pour your heart out
Sometimes, you may be connected to an ex because there’s so much unfinished business in the air, questions that need answering, words that need to be said and so much more. But we can’t always have all that we wish for. Sometimes, you have to let go of love even if you’re not ready. And that hurts the most. [Read: If you love someone, should you ever let them go?]
Have you ever felt like writing to your ex, a long letter that’s filled with the pain, confusion and the feelings you have bottled up within? I do too, but as much as my fingers itch to write a heartfelt note, I know that its better I don’t.
My ex has moved on, and by walking through that old road again, I’m only opening my heart for more wounds to follow. What could I get out of writing a letter expressing my feelings? More anticipation, more confusion and more pain. If your ex has truly moved on and has shown no signs of wanting to get back with you, there’s nothing you can ever do about it. [Read: Signs your ex is thinking about you too]
The memories of those old, happy moments
Daydreaming or stargazing with thoughts of your ex is a bitterly beautiful experience. You get to remember those happy days and those happy times, but yet, each time you open your eyes, you feel nothing but pain because all those memories are nothing but wisps of empty memories that most certainly may never come true again.
But yet, you can’t help yourself, can you? You just want to swim in that ocean of misery and pain, because somehow, somewhere deep within, the same misery shares its space with a tingle of happiness. Oh, the irony of exes and old love and the sick humor it brings to life.
You hopelessly stalk your ex
When the love for your ex resides somewhere deep in your heart, you can’t help but look out for ways to keep it alive. You’d want to know what your ex is up to, you’d want to bump into them now and then, and you’d want to touch them and hold them, and share another of those last kisses. Can dreams ever hurt so much or memories ever make you miss someone so much? [Confession: I miss him so much but he doesn't miss me at all]
You hope for a second chance
When you hear some bad news about your ex, or if you find out that your ex is now single and ready to mingle, do you secretly hope for a second chance? You may not want to date your ex again in reality, but in your thoughts and dreams, you paint a beautiful picture where both of you walk into each other’s arms in a perfect setting and share a warm embrace that you can feel to your very core. [Read: Are you really ready to date your ex again?]
Look at yourself through your ex’s eyes
Does your ex pop into your dream now and then? Do you wake up in the morning feeling so happy, and yet so hurt?
Love can be so depressing at times, don’t you think?
But let’s face it. As much as we hate love for those beautiful memories, it’s not love that’s making life miserable for us. If you’re still in love with an ex, it’s only because you still choose to hold on to that flight of fancy because as much as it hurts you, it still makes you happy deep inside.
But what about your ex? Do you think they still love you? Almost always, the chances are slim and almost nonexistent. Try to look at your broken relationship through your ex’s eyes. They’ve probably moved on into other relationships, or they’ve assumed you’ve moved on. And your ex has forced themselves to stuff you away in a dark hole in their heart.
Both of you broke up for a reason, and the reason hasn’t gone away. Even if both of you get back together, the same issues that caused the break up may come back into your lives again. If you’re hesitant about making a strong move and asking your ex out again, your ex may be feeling the same way too.
That just shows that though there’s love in the air, it’s the sad kind of love that can’t, and should not, become a reality, because all it offers is pain. [Read: The 10 types of love you'll experience in your lifetime]
The memories of an ex
I’m still in love with my ex, even though I can’t convince myself of it. On some sad and lonely days, my heart makes space for sad memories like my exes. And on happy days, my heart learns to ignore the fact that I have an ex. For several days, I have no recollection that I even have an ex.
But when the thoughts of my ex come my way, it feels like a burden that always weighs my heart down. But as lovers of our exes, we have no choice but to overlook the miserable happiness our exes give us. [Read: Signs you're experiencing unrequited love]
Memories and love – The eternal confusion
Spending hours dreaming of exes or assuming we’re still in love with them will never help us. Yes, it’s true that we did love our exes once.
But what you and I have to remember is that what we now feel is not love, but the dark, shadowy memory of love. Love doesn’t exist anymore. It’s the memory that makes it magical. And as much as you like the idea of it, you can’t touch it or hold this memory. It won’t create any new memories for you no matter how many times you twist the thoughts around, because it only stays in your head. [Read: 16 signs to find out if you're ready to be friends with your ex]
So cherish the romantic memories of your ex, but don’t confuse them with love. Love has a life of its own, while a memory, well, that’s just an empty photo frame, isn’t it? The love you feel in your head for your ex is just a memory, with a pinch of exaggeration and imagination.
So are you still in love with your ex? Am I in love with my ex? Yes, but only in our heads and only as memories. As long as you remember that it’s the happy memory that makes it magical and not the broken love you experienced, it’s completely fine to love your ex, from somewhere deep within the dark corners of your big heart!
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