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Marrying Your Best Friend: 20 Signs You Should Do it

marrying your best friend

We’ve all heard those old couples who have been together 50 years tell us to marry our best friend, but how much truth is there to that theory?

The person you marry is a big deal. Ginormous, actually. You are choosing someone to not only spend the rest of your life with, but someone who will care for you and someone with whom you can build a life.

That’s why we spend, well, our entire lives, searching for “the one.” The one that will make us happy forever. The one that will be there for us through the rest of our life stages. The one that will give half of themselves, forever.

So, you want to make sure you actually like them, right? Well, duh! That’s why whenever you interview an old couple who have been together for decades, they usually mention something about their spouse being their best friend.

But should you really marry your best friend?

Now, I’m not talking about your childhood best friend who is the same gender as you–unless you’re into that, in that case go for it—but I’m talking about someone who has come into your life later and is now your best friend. Oh, and they just so happen to be your preferred gender for a life-long partner.

My best friend and I—who is a male—have an ongoing joke that if we both fail at finding our “true love” in the next ten years, we’ll get married. Our reasoning is we both want kids but don’t want to be too old to have them and that, well, we’re best friends! So what could possibly go wrong?

But if you really do some deep thinking, does it actually make sense to marry your best friend? Should you really spend your entire life with that person? Each person and situation is different. Here are the reasons you should marry your best friend. [Read: 17 clear signs you should be dating your best friend already]

YES! You should!

After doing some serious thinking, I have figured out if you and your best friend fall under the following categories, you should definitely get married.

#1 You love them. Obviously, love is an important factor when it comes to marriage. If they’re truly your best friend, then you love them already! The real question comes when you start to think about if you’re “in love” with them. There is a difference.

Sometimes you can be in love with your best friend without even realizing it. It might just hit you like a truck someday. If you realize this sooner rather than later, you should marry your best friend. [Read: I’m in love with my best friend… what next?!]

#2 You trust them with your life. Trust is the most important thing in any relationship, but especially in a marriage. You have to really trust your partner with everything—including your life. If you know you can trust them this way, you should marry them.

#3 You have similar life goals. Futures have to align with the person you could potentially end up marrying. If one of you wants to travel the world for 10 years before settling down and the other is ready to buy a house and start their life, it won’t work.

Make sure you both have similar long-term life goals. If you do, it’s a good sign you should marry your best friend.

#4 You have similar morals. You and your spouse need to have the same or similar morals. You can’t live with someone who disagrees about what is right and wrong in the world. How would you both raise children? If this is the two of you, you should marry this person. [Read: Do you think alike? 20 questions to ask your best friend]

#5 Your religious views are understood. I personally don’t think that two people have to have similar religious views in order to make a marriage work. As long as those views are understood and accepted long before the big ceremony, you’re in the clear.

#6 You argue. And I mean really argue about the important things. If you can get into some deep and heated arguments with your best friend and still respect them and their opinions, you should marry them. That’s not something you find in a lot of people. Take it where you get it!

#7 You both have similar parenting style goals. If you two talk about the way you want to raise your kids and you agree with about 80% of what they’re saying, you should marry them. You have to have similar styles of parenting if you’re going to marry someone. And most importantly, you both want kids. [Read: 11 ways to know if both of you are ready to have kids]

#8 They bring out different sides of you. They can bring about the good, the bad, the happy, the sad, and even your weirdest side. You need to marry someone who can do this in order to have a happy marriage.

#9 You can be yourself around them. The most important thing in any life partner, you have to be able to be yourself with them. If this is your best friend, marry them.

#10 You’re physically attracted to them. Oftentimes, when two people are best friends but have never gone that extra step to be a couple, it’s because of a physical attraction barrier. One person might think the other is attractive but the other person might not be interested.

However, in order to make a long-lasting, happy marriage, you have to be sexually attracted to them. After all, you will be sleeping with only them for the rest of your life. [Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction to keep an eye on]

#11 You are comfortable with their family. If you think of their family as a second family already, then you know you’ll feel right at home if you marry them. This is definitely a sign that you and your best friend should get hitched!

#12 You can’t imagine your life without them. If you can’t imagine being without this person in your life, then the best way to do this is to marry them. That way they’ll always be with you.

#13 You’ve always secretly thought about it. Whether you want to admit it or not, you’ve thought about marrying your best friend before. As much as the two of you claim to be “just friends,” there is a tiny part of you that has pictured it before—which means there’s a part of you that actually wants it. [Read: 10 signs you’re dating your best friend already and just don’t know it]

#14 You can talk to them about anything without feeling judged. And I mean anything. If you feel like you can go to them with any issues—big or small—and they’ll listen with the same amount of attention no matter what it is, you should marry them.

That’s a quality you want to have in a future spouse due to them being your go-to person for the rest of your life. If your spouse judges you at every turn, who can you really turn to?

#15 You feel your best when you’re with them. You feel more confident, happier, more relaxed, and just good whenever you’re around them. This is extremely important when finding a partner for life. If your best friend is this for you, you should marry them.

#16 You talk about them. All. The. Time. I mean seriously, it’s probably annoying how much you talk about your best friend. It means you want to brag about them and share their life with others as if it was your own.

#17 They’ve always been a part of your long-term plans. If you’re already planning your long-distance future with them as a part of it, you should marry your best friend. Wanting them there through all of your big life changes and picturing them there means you should marry them.

#18 Each other’s happiness is more important. Having a best friend you care about more than yourself is not something to take lightly. If their happiness is more important to you than your own, put a ring on it. [Read: Are you in love? 21 signs to decode that fuzzy feeling]

#19 No one is good enough for them and vice versa. You both have issues with each other’s exes and don’t believe anyone is good enough for them. This is a huge sign you should marry your best friend. You probably have had feelings for them for a long time if this comes to your mind every time they start dating someone new.

#20 You know each other better than anyone else. If you can tell someone else their entire life story better than they can, you’ve found someone you should spend your life with. It’s one thing to know all of the big parts, but it’s another to know all the small details no one else would ever guess.

[Read: The tricky pros and cons of dating a best friend you HAVE to know about]

Your spouse should be your best friend no matter what. But if you’re debating whether or not your current best friend should be your lover for life, these signs will help you figure it out.

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Bella Pope
Bella Pope
Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...

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2 thoughts on “Marrying Your Best Friend: 20 Signs You Should Do it”

  1. Gary says:

    I married my best friend, and my sister married hers (I called that when they met in 8th grade, though they didn’t date till they were 20, and they married at 24.) We(the wives) are more ambitious about life goals than they are, but they put their efforts into making our dreams come true. This means my husband has worked his ass off to get me back in school, which led to getting published, finding work as a professional writer, and landing a dream job that will one day allow him to stay home with the kids we want someday. (We also took in his sister and nieces when, escaping domestic violence, they became homeless. He followed my lead, since it put us in financial hardship and I had to quit college, but I can’t let little girls become lost.) In return, I’ve supported him through unemployment, made sure he never gave up on his music, and he gets to game all he wants, no complaints, no asking for the tv when he is home. It’s really so little to ask for. As for my sister, they married after both graduated college with honors. He is a real laid back guy, but they picked up and moved cross country so she could land her dream job at a prestigious national museum, all before she even had an interview. After a long desperate while, she landed it. They support us in our ambitions, though they have to really work at coming out of their shell, all the while we make sure they have fun and keep up their own talents. And no matter the hardships, we never despair or freak out. There is true, enduring comfort knowing the Samwise to your Frodo understands you better than you, always has your back, will take care of you, and are interesting, fun, kind people you are genuinely excited to hang with every day. It feels like they are the only other person who really speaks your own language. Plus you get to have (kinky) sex with them. If you enjoy sex with them and a life where you are secure, happy, and fulfilled despite everything else in life going to shit, MARRY YOUR BEST FRIEND.

  2. endo says:

    We had been hanging out all day at a farmers market. Went over to his place. We were standing on his balcony, looking out over the city. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like I’d been hit by a car. I suddenly realized that I was falling for him, that I was looking at him differently than I used to. I remember everything about that moment clear as day. I spent 6 months falling harder and harder for him. I was certain he wasn’t into me. We had a few times we almost got together, but one of us would retreat, fast, at the last minute. Finally, one night, we went to a concert with some friends. Spent the whole night together, dancing and having a good time. His very presence was intoxicating to me… I felt drunk off pheromones and endorphins. That night, we connected in a really really major way. He drove me home that night. Let me out. I took forever to walk to the door. He took forever to drive away. We sent each other a text at the exact same time, saying we needed to talk. The next day, we went to that same farmers market we always went to, in the first part of my story. Walked around. Made awkward small talk. Eventually started talking about the night before. I confessed that something had changed with us. He agreed. I told him I was interested and wanted to see where it went. He went “oh thank god.” Turns out, that very same day on the balcony, he had realized he was falling for me too. We were both just too scared to admit it. Two and a half years later, I am still with him and happy as can be, and I fall more in love with him every single day.

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