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8 Uncanny Little Things Couples in Love Start Doing Alike

things couples start doing alike

Since you became a couple, have you noticed any changes in yourself? Did you unwittingly absorb your partner’s personality or vice versa?

There’s no denying that couples start acting and looking alike the longer they are in a relationship. I suppose, like everything else, there has to be some form of psychology behind it. However, I’m no psychologist and can only jot down what I’ve observed and experienced.

I’m not saying you lose your unique sense of identity when you form a partnership with someone. On the contrary, you tend to fuse both unique personalities to create one living, breathing organism. By aligning your goals and appearances, you get onto each other’s wavelengths and reach an unmistakable understanding and bond with one another.

Some people project this fusion by dressing alike, talking alike, or changing their entire mindset to connect better with their partner. These tweaks vary according to the couple, and there are undoubtedly situations in which both refuse to change anything about themselves. Perhaps this is why couples end up breaking up.

Maybe the secret to a happy relationship is to continuously stay on each other’s wavelengths. However, let’s not get too into that right now, because we could go on for days analyzing what makes a relationship work and what doesn’t.

How do couples start behaving alike?

In case you haven’t noticed, there are 8 uncanny things people start doing alike when they’re in a relationship. Take a step back, and see how many of these apply to you and your partner. If you must know, I counted 4 similarities, myself.

#1 Speaking alike. I don’t know about you, but I started speaking like my partner. I’m not saying I miraculously sprouted a French accent and ignored my H’s, but I started using expressions that I never thought I would use. The same can be said for him. He has taken on randomly throwing the word “lah” behind his sentences. In case you were wondering, “lah” is a suffix used by Malaysians to spice up and amplify a sentence.

Whether it comes to slang, lingo, or expressions, there is no denying that the more time you spend with your partner, the more likely it is that you will start sounding alike. The thing is, you won’t even realize it until someone points it out.

#2 Dressing similarly. Another uncanny thing that people start doing alike when they’re in a relationship is dressing alike, or at the very least dressing to get in line with their partner’s tastes. For example, my friend Nicholas became preppy for his girlfriend, Natalia. He started off as a college kid full of angst, with a closet full of Nirvana t-shirts. Five years with a trust fund beauty turned him into the poster child for Ralph Lauren, complete with polo shirts and boat shoes.

Perhaps the change in fashion preferences has a lot to do with trying to look good for your partner. The more compliments you get when you wear a certain outfit, the more likely you are to wear it again. But you might not immediately notice the fact that the outfits your partner compliments are those in line with their personal tastes.

#3 Aligning downtime interests. There is a very high chance that couples will start to love the same books, movies, documentaries, music, and pretty much anything else that you can pass the time doing. After all, spending that much time together will invariably make you interested in what your partner is into and vice versa.

To be fair, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this. If being with someone is going to open you up to new experiences and interests, then the relationship is certainly good for you. Just be sure not to indulge too much in each other’s vices, because we all know that when one partner falls down the rabbit hole, the other will, too. [Read: Do couples always have to like the same things?]

#4 Taking on similar mannerisms. Similar to speaking alike, couples also tend to take on similar mannerisms. From being extremely expressive with your hands, to using certain facial expressions, you’d be surprised by just how much your partner can influence you when it comes to nonverbal communication.

#5 Thinking alike. Although people tend to have specific stances when it comes to certain things, there’s no denying that your partner can and will influence the way you see the world.

An example would be my friends, Tasha and Vas. Besides transforming her appearance to become an “urban hippie,” Tasha also has very different views on marijuana now that she’s dating a doobie-smoking hipster. From preaching, “Marijuana is a drug!” to chants of “Legalize it, it’s only a plant!” this is just one example that shows how being with someone can change the way we think.

#6 Similar food appreciation. Whether it is rediscovering old favorites served in a different way, or trying and loving something brand new, couples in relationships tend to have similar food cravings. Perhaps certain dishes and restaurants bring back memories of a first date and so on, but in general, couples tend to attune their sense of taste to cater to their partner’s.

I never thought I would crave choucroute, an Alsatian dish with sauerkraut, sausages, and salted meat. My partner, on the other hand, never thought he would miss yam dumplings. However, when you’re in love with someone, you tend to open your mind and palate to new foods and make them a part of your all-time-favorites list. [Read: 5 most important signs of relationship compatibility]

#7 Working toward the same goals. Whether it’s saving money for that romantic Europe trip, or taking out a loan together to buy an apartment, people tend to tweak their life goals to comfortably include their partner when making plans for the future. [Read: Things to talk about in a perfect relationship]

#8 Aligning their sense of humor. One may still be way funnier than the other, but you will find that both have the same idea of what counts as funny. Laughing can, indeed, be contagious. It’s contagious enough to have you laughing in fits over something you previously found absolutely corny, all because your partner can’t suppress their laughter, either.

[Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility]

At the end of the day, it is completely normal to want to expand your horizons and absorb your partner’s good traits. Just remember not to lose sight of who you really are.

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Lianne Choo
Lianne Choo
Born in Singapore and raised in Malaysia to multi-racial parents, Lianne is a self-proclaimed travel and food junkie. Having traveled extensively around the wor...
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4 thoughts on “8 Uncanny Little Things Couples in Love Start Doing Alike”

  1. Shan says:

    She’s sleeping on my arm right now, fell asleep halfway through a GoT episode. She’s the cutest, tiniest most adorable thing, her eyes a constant smile. She’ll wake up in a few minutes and be like “What’s that fuc*ing bitch Cersei done now?” Can’t wait to marry her. (Not Cersei, the SO)

  2. sing along says:

    We are so much alike but so different at the same time. As far as outward appearance, we look so so different. He is Korean, 5’9, super skinny, with jet black straight hair cut neatly. He wears really nice clothes no matter where he is and has a great sense of style. He is very proper and clean-cut, hates having facial hair, hair always needs to be in place etc. He’s quite metro. If anyone is familiar with Korean popular culture, he is what flower boys grow to be. Used to wear BB cream, dye his hair, the whole nine yards I, on the other hand, am mixed. Mexican and white. I’m 4’11, and curvy. I have wild curly hair down past my soldiers, wear glasses and have an eccentric taste in style. I am getting better at it but when we first met I took less time to get ready than him. I would just throw on some jeans and a blouse and thats it. Minimal makeup, minimal skincare. Now I have stepped it up. When your boyfriend always looks good, you start to look at how frumpy you might look in comparison. My style is a little more cohesive now (still a bit eccentric, I go towards more Korean/Japanese clothing styles), and I put on a decent amount of makeup. I take more time than he does getting ready now. My hair is still wild though. In terms of where we’re at in life though, we are in different places but it works. I am a 20 year old college student getting my BA. He is pretty much self-made and already stable in life at 28. He has a job but he also makes websites and does Forex trading on the side. I am the one who is always stressed out about the future (mine, as far as getting a job and paying for the loans I will owe after college) and he is quite laid back. He wants to start a business while I have no idea what I’m gonna do after school (I’m studying abroad next year so hopefully it will help me get a grasp on things). In terms of personality, I’m a bit rough around the edges. A little emotional, stubborn, reckless etc. He is more logical at times and is the cool head when I get mad in a fight. However, we both have tons of passion and drive. For everything we do. Also, while we are mature, we both have childish sides that we share with each other. He likes the finer things in life though, while I’m just happyto get what I get (though he is rubbing off on me, I’m beginning to become a food and wine snob). He’s also very careful at times, especially with how he treats and what he puts into his body. He does not eat junk food and he refuses to take any sort of medication. I am however, not that careful.

  3. chancing says:

    My girlfriend and I are best friends and unfortunately we only get to spend weekends together for now. We trade weekends doing things the other likes. Last weekend we got a manicure and pedicure, which as a male I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would. The next day we went to some store and got bath bombs, I picked up some wine, found a tiny chandelier in the house, dimmed the lights, and sat in the bath tub while drinking wine, soaking in that bath bomb water, and just talking. It was pretty incredible. The weekend before we spent almost the entire weekend playing video games and watching movies. We also went to the beach but mostly video games. I think taking turns and having an interest in what your SO is interested in is incredibly important.

  4. Cer says:

    I have a pair of friends who have been dating for about a year. Over the course of that time, they have grown to look basically like twins. One of them cut and dyed her hair to the same shade/basic style as the other. They’re the same height and build. They wear each other’s clothes, and once turned up separately at an event dressed identically. They think it’s funny (when they notice it at all), but our general group of friends are mildly creeped out by it. This has hilariously started to happen to my relationship. On an incredibly subtle level, my girlfriend is wearing a black jack and maroon pants with black boots. She looks great and I ask her to help me pick out what I should wear – she’ll pick my red pants 10/10 times, not because she realizes she’s wearing a similar shade, but because she loves red – so owns clothing in that color and likes that color on me. It’ll take 5 minutes, but we’ll suddenly leave the house in black jackets, dark shirts, and red pants with scarves – all without the intention of looking alike.

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