The most pressing question that new couples are asking is this: how do you know if it’s love? Here’s how you know if you’re on the right track.
Knowing when you’re in love can be a bit tricky, especially if you just started dating. Some experts say that, after two months, it’s okay to finally say those three little words.
But judging from the thousands of testimonies saying that time varies for each person, it’s safe to say that you don’t have to wait for two months—or you might have to wait longer than that.
It’s not all that reassuring, but hear us out. No matter how long it takes for you to fall in love, it is worth more than the waiting time you invest. Falling in love is the best feeling in the world; that’s why it’s always best to pace yourself until you find the real thing. [Read: 10 reasons why saying “I love you” too soon just sucks]
What does it feel like to be in love?
For one thing, it feels awesome. Being in love means that you feel happier rather than sad and that the source of that happiness mostly comes from the person you love. There are different ways a person can feel love, but it usually starts with rollercoasters in your chest or stomach. It’s a physical reaction that tells you that you feel strongly about someone.
It could be infatuation, but that’s how love usually starts. Still, it’s your job to keep it alive…until the day comes when you’re finally sure that it is, indeed, real love.
Aside from that, you can also feel that you’re falling in love gradually. It isn’t as strong as a sudden jolt to your system, but a slowly-increasing level of intimacy will lead you to the same path.
You can’t control which category you fall into, or whether or not your partner will feel the same way. All you can do is sit tight and wait for those fuzzy feeling to overwhelm you—in a good way.
How do you know if you’re in love?
#1 Saying “I love you” without hesitating. We live in an age where words have become just as powerful as actions. Even emojis have weight now, but the most hard-pressed words to say are “I”, “love,” and “you.” If you can say it without choking or without any remorse, then it’s safe to say that you’re confident about how you feel. [Read: When you YOU say ‘I love you’ for the first time?]
#2 You put them first, but only if they do the same. When you’re in love, you give more than you are willing to take. But the same goes for the person you’re in love with. Once you realize that you’re putting their needs above yours, you, my friend, are a strong candidate for love.
#3 What’s important to them is important to you. One of the most important signs to watch out for is your newfound ability to actually care about the things that are important to your partner. Rarely do we see people who are passionate about someone else’s interests, but with love, it’s a package deal. If you love what they love, then you probably love them too.
#4 You don’t care about their flaws. Dating is the time where everything starts to slowly bubble up to the surface, like your flaws. Some flaws are inexcusable—being abusive, being resentful, being deceitful, etc—but some, like physical flaws and annoying habits, can be overlooked. If you start to see a person for who they are and not what they lack, it’s probably true that you’ve fallen for them.
#5 You can trust them. Trust is very hard to come by, but it’s easy to see once a person has proven themselves to you. There’s no need to test them or make them jump through hoops. All you need to do is appreciate the effort they’re making, and decide whether or not it’s enough for you to trust them. [Read: How to prove you love someone the right way]
#6 You’re inspired, not controlled, by your partner. Being in love helps you become a better person. You’re more motivated, not because you want to be great in your partner’s eyes, but because you are happy. People are inspired when they’re happy. And when you’re happily in love, things will simply fall into place.
#7 The doubts you have don’t feel that strong anymore. Of course, we all have our doubts and fears when starting a relationship, but there will come a time when all of those will disappear without you noticing. Once you’re sure of where you stand, you can finally rest knowing that it’s real.
#8 You don’t feel attracted to anyone else at all. Note that this is different from appreciating other people. Not being attracted to anyone else means that you don’t want to entertain or date other people. Everyone else pales in comparison to the one who holds your heart. That’s because now you want one person, and one person only. [Read: 25 signs he really love you even if he doesn’t say it out loud]
#9 They’re included in your plans for the future. We’re talking about plans, not fantasies. Imagining your wedding doesn’t count. Planning how you’ll move in together doesn’t count either. We’re talking about including a person you love in your plans for the future. Do you see them with you in five years? Yes or no? Do you want them to stay with you for a long time? Yes or no? No daydreams. No fantasies. Just facts. [Read: 9 relationship stages all couples go through in love]
#10 Your love for them is unfolding before your very eyes. Love comes at you out of nowhere, but you’ll soon realize that there were more than enough signs that it was coming your way. It could be the moment you saw your partner’s smile, or the way you felt when they first held your hand. And no, those weren’t signs that you’d fallen in love. Those were the signs that led you to fall in love.
If you think that you’re finally falling for the person you like, these signs may be the only thing left to help you confirm whether it’s true or not. If it hasn’t happened yet, rest assured: with these signs, you’ll know it when it comes.
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Those who can’t do, teach. I can neither do nor teach as well as others, but I can try. Aside from being a writer, I am also a physical therapist. My dream is...